Ryder and Brody Know What's Up
Full disclosure: I'm too exhausted right now to pull everything together into a cohesive thought process, so if you feel like joining me in my weary brain, today we'll go all kinds of stream-of-consciousness up in here!
Nate and Dani look like a man and a little girl. Ew. The dialogue made it even worse with Dani breathily telling him she's "all grown up." I want to go scoop her up and rescue her from the pedophile. Lenny Platt is "only" 26 years old (though he could play older... and he's almost nine whole years younger than his on-screen mother), and that's not exactly unheard of for playing a teen on television, but the thing is... Kelley Missal is actually 17. I need them to shut this down. I want to track her down and put a high-necked sweater on her and send her to her room!
Ryder had this to say about sharing DNA with Ford:
"D'oh!" (He is very articulate for such a young age!)
Starr. "I'm an unwed mother whose baby's father is in prison for murder. I'm beyond loser." Nice. That plus all the wistful mentions of that sweet time that Starr shot James is making me more than anticipate another One Life to Live bit on Chelsea Handler's show.
What the hell was that little fake cough Starr did to get a look at the skeeve hitting on Langston?
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm a psycho magnet." - Blair
So Ford really was in Llanfair. How? What? Aren't all these rich people on these shows trying to always protect their homes and belongings and children? How many kids have to get kidnapped from Llanfair for them to set up a decent freakin' security system?
John, John, charming as ever. Quoting "Closin' Time" or whatever that song is called that they always play at bars at 4am. I have to say, though, that this is already a pretty nice set-up for the road to recovery. John is clearly going to pull a booze-induced Brody/Natalie move, while Tess is going to unleash some sort of hell on everyone, and they'll end up on the other end, apologizing to Natalie. (Not that I want a Natalie/John reunion. Ever. I just feel like that's what the set-up is here to at least re-level the power in these relationships.)
Tess is actually a little funny today. But I could write a dissertation about why they should not be doing this again. I'll just enjoy the camp for the moment.
Loved the look on Viki's face at "How could... Brody be the... father of your baby?"
Were those supposed to be romantic flashbacks to James and Starr's first meeting? The music seemed to imply so. For me, it was just having to repeat the torture. "Aww, remember when he kidnapped her and then later she shot him? Love at first sight!"
What the hell was Ford talking about? Brody pointed out that he'd said he wanted nothing to with the baby and Ford had the nerve to say that was before he knew "the baby might be" his? No, it wasn't. It was when he knew the baby might be his!
Brody was just awesome. First of all, pointing out that Ford's biological connection to Liam is only a result of Ford practically raping Jessica. Second of all, breaking out some of his little eency weency Navy SEAL moves on lanky, awkward Ford.
Get him, soldier, get him!
I'm really glad Natalie went to Viki first instead of to Rex and Gigi or something. Both twins need their mother right now. Nice, subdued scenes between Natalie and Viki after all the noisy histrionics of the last few episodes.
Liam is adorable.
I mean, come on! What a face. And I loved that Brody had his first "knowing" moment with Liam today and couldn't walk away.
Oh no! They've made a new end-of-show bumper that's all about Jessica's split identities. That's not a good sign that this shit will be wrapped up anytime soon. Will any of you lovely readers even be suffering through this storyline with me? Anyone?