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« Deception and Delusion | Main | In and Out and In Again »

February 17, 2011

Why Can't We Have Nice Things?

Why, All My Children? WHY? Why, when I like something, do you fall all over yourselves to set that something on fire? You never move that quickly when it comes to storyline progression, but hurting my feelings turns you into Olympic level sprinters.

Recently, I said these three words: "Rev. Ricky? J'adore!" .

Then, mere weeks later, EVIL HAPPENS*.

Ricky, on the phone with a partner in nefariousness: What the hell was that? I've spent months trying to get Kendall to trust me and let her guard down and now the amateurs just bust in and toss her house? I don't want excuses! Now you listen to me. Kendall Slater is a smart woman. She's already asking questions. Now, if I'm going to find what we're looking for, I'm going to need her to keep thinking of me as her friendly neighborhood minister and not the man who killed her husband.

I know we're all asking ourselves the same question and that question is "What the crikey fuck is going on right now?", but let's put that one on the backburner and ask another, equally important question: if you're concerned about protecting your newly created identity and keeping your crimes a secret, why do you have a conversation about both of these things in the middle of a hospital hallway?

But UGH. Why did Ricky have to be involved in Zach's death? It's like Donna Swajeski said "I think this storyline needs to go in a completely implausible direction" and David Kreizman said, "But I had been hoping we could just make it completely uninteresting!" and then, in unison, they said, "We should totally make Rev. Ricky a killer!" I bet they even high-fived, either oblivious to (or all too aware of) how obnoxious this "plot twist" really is.

Now, we have another item to add to our rapidly-growing "Kendall Hart Slater Seriously Has The Worst Life Ever. Seriously. Seriously" list and we can anticipate another melodramatic promo once Kendall learns the truth! Have you caught the latest promo, which gleefully spoiled Ricky's true intentions?

Gravelly-Voiced Promo Man kind of half-assed it, no? He's usually much better at making mundane situations sound, you know...interesting. But I guess I can see where he was coming from. "ANOTHER commercial about Kendall's unspeakable tragedies and near-death experiences? I do one of these every week! And how the hell am I going to say "As she recovers, she uncovers a murder" without sounding like a total schmuck? Screw this show."

*So obviously I am not going to spend even a second talking about how freaking cute Scott and Madison are together, because if I do that--if I mention the goofy way I smiled at this exchange:

Scott: How do you feel about telling the world that you made a baby with a guy who just got out of prison?
Madison: And a one night stand at that!
Scott: What are you talking about? It's not a one night stand. I asked you out again.
Madison: When?
Scott: Right now. Would you like to go out with your baby daddy?

The writers will turn one or both of these characters into a serial killer and the other into a cannibal. So I am just keeping my mouth shut.


Since Pretty Ricky seems to be all evil and everything; does this mean Ryass and Greenlee are not really married. How wonderful would it be for Ryan to find out how his beloved lied and tried to get his latest baby mama out of the picture. Then, to find out their marriage isn't legal. Yeah, I hate Greenlee that much (evil laugh).

I can dream!!!

Mallory, did you see La Lucci on "Hot In Cleveland"? She was deliciously bitchy playing opposite Wendie Malick as an exaggerated version of herself.

Oh, something entertaining on this show? Um...

I really really loathe AMC right now. Between the destruction of Annie and JR, round 250 of Rylee, Amanda acting like an idiot over Jake and Cara, round 217 of Erica and Jackson and some other dude, and David probably hopping into the sack soon with Jamie Luner's ass, I really wanted an awesome story with Kendall and Ricky and some forbidden love Thornbirds kind of stuff. But no. Swajeski and Kreizman just hate soaps and us that much.

Don't even get me started on GH...

I think it is so mean to use Zach Slater in this promo. They are trying to use him to draw his fans back to the show. Well!! I is NOT working. We know he is not back. But I promise you this, you get TK back . . . all will be forgiven and you will get US back.

But to use him and us like that?? It hurt!!

Seriously Kendall Hart Slater has the worst life ever,I agree.

Bianca and Opal had their turn these last two days to pimp the new doctor. Bianca was really laying it on thick, when she was talking to Kendall about the handsome, the only one who could save her, greatest doctor that ever came to PV Hospital. Opal has not been on to much lately and today she was just there for the "griffin pontification."

Every episode Griffin is in someone HAS to start pimping "the heart doctor" as the best doctor ever, handsome,the greatest, able to operate in ambulances,the greatest, handsome repeat this as many times a week as you can...

Sorry TIIC you are trying to train fans to like this character. Well forget about it...........We have our own thoughts and you repeating this Griffin Mantra will not make us like him because you say so.

This mantra is starting to sound all to familar. The words ryan lavery come to mind.

Oh, GOD, it's just like Eli on OLTL! We loved him, and he and Blair were so cute! And then someone pulled a serial killer storyline out of his ass and draped it over Eli. WAHHHH! Good thing AMC is too boring for me to watch, or I'd be really pissed off right now.

It really is sad how much I am LOVING Madison and Scott. SG is fantastic. DC is the breath of freah air that the show needed. Everytime they are on I sit up and pay attention. SO GOOD. I tune in every day just for them. If neither one of them appears in the first two segments, I tune out.

PS: I also vote that there be a drinking game that everytime Scott mentions he was in prison, you drink. Listen, writers, no matter how likable Daniel Cosgrove plays Scott, I doubt we are going to forget so soon.
PPS: Speaking of nice things, is anyone else distracted by how nice Cara's hair is? It is almost distracting.

Scott and Madison are really adorable. Now I've got weird thoughts in my head. Maybe she'll have the baby and starts eating it but Scott manages to save the head which he puts on his wall.

I guess I am coming from a different place because I was not surprised at all about the evilness of Rev Ricky. It seems like another step in the "writers hitting the viewers over the head" to get them to fall in line.

Hey, how else to get votes for your loser of a character of Griffin than to give him yet ANOTHER opportunity to save Kendall from RIcky - and we the viewers are supposed to fall madly in love with the pairing. You know...Ricky=evil, GRiffin=good...and of course, we will want the Griffin Kendall pairing because of it. UGH UGH UGH.

This show is so screwed up.

You know the Evil Ricky/Good Griffin BS is not new for soaps, Dool is famous right now with the Evil Ej/Good Rafe BS...these soaps writers still don't understand that this dumb, black/white, manichean writing is a big FAILURE..oh well if their shows are cancelled for some talk shows they will be the only ones to blame..

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