In Which Emma Lavery Captures The Hearts of Millions
Okay, so anyone who pays even slight attention to daytime ratings knows that title is hugely hyperbolic, but "Emma Lavery Captures The Hearts of Tens" just didn't have the same ring to it and regardless of just how many worshippers this adorable little moppet has, the point remains: the girl is all kinds of amazing.
Emma: If Mommy's at the hospital, I want to go, too.
Greenlee: Emma, that's not possible.
Emma: Fine, I'll go by myself. I know how to get there.
Ryan: Hey, Mommy's not at Pine Valley hospital, sweetie.
Emma: Where is she?
Ryan: She's at a hospital called Oak Haven.
Emma: I've heard of that place. Mommy was scared of it. She said she'd die if she went back.
Ryan: That's not going to happen, I promise you. That's not going to happen.
Emma: I don't believe you, Daddy. I hate you. I HATE YOU.
I hate you. I HATE YOU.
I hate you. I HATE YOU.
I am not going to tell you the number of times I rewound that scene just to drink in those beautiful words again and again, because you'd judge me (or you'd share your own absurd number of re-watches and then we'd get into a "Who Hates Ryan Lavery More?" contest), but let's just say it was a lot.
And Ryan's baffled reaction was just the icing on the cake.
I have many thoughts about the past couple of days in Pine Valley in list form--I had a prior version of this post with, you know, paragraphs, but TypePad ate it and after I shook my fist at the sky and screamed "Curse you, Lavery!" I could only muster up the energy for a (-n admittedly long) list...
- You know, as much as I ALWAYS hate Ryan, I spent an awful lot of time this week hating Greenlee. I just...when she and Ryan went to confront Annie at the hotel and Annie became more and more unhinged at Greenlee's very presence, crying and ranting and completely coming undone?
Annie: You should call Marissa over here. You could have a sick little tag team. The two little bitches who ruined my life.
She kept screaming "Get her out of here!" in complete anguish and I feel like any rational person would have said, "I think I'm making this worse..." and went to wait in the hallway or, at the very least, felt too uncomfortable to stay, but Greenlee just stood there, staring blankly at her.
She even had the nerve to stay there after Ryan left, getting Annie even MORE worked up and making it impossible for Brot to do his job. I so wanted him to let go of the whole "professionalism" thing for a second and just let Annie punch her in the head.
- Speaking of: poor, poor Annie. This last mental break was just heartbreaking to watch and Melissa Claire Egan killed it.
I'm selfishly disappointed that she's leaving the show, because she became one of my very favorite parts of AMC and while that seems to be damning with the faintest of praise, I genuinely mean it. I think she's absurdly talented and she and Jacob Young are amazing together, and I think JR and Annie could have had an amazing future as a twisted couple.
- Heart. Breaking.
JR: Don't fight them.
Annie: But they're trying to hurt me.
JR: No, they're trying to help you, take you someplace safe.
JR: A place where they care about you and want you to be healthy and happy.
Annie: You want that for me, too.
JR: I want that more than anything.
Annie: Because you love me, don't you?
JR, voice beaking: Yes, because I love you.
Annie: Well, then if you want me to go, I'll go.
And then she thought they were taking her to a secret wedding for her and JR, and she threw JR one last blissful smile?
- JR and Marissa, however, are the television equivalent of a barbituate.
- In case you didn't already know how EVIL Diane is, she found an ostrich wandering the streets of Pine Valley (stranger things have happened), killed it with her bare hands and wore it around her neck as a warning to others.
- David is trying his best to get reinstated at PVH. He went to the Chandlers to ask for help, reasoning that getting the backing of some Pine Valley bigwigs wouldn't hurt his case, but I have to say, even hearing him say the name Chandler makes my eye twitch a little bit, because I am still bitter over the completely fakakta "Who Killed Stuart?" story.
- On the other hand, I'll NEVER tire of him talking about the Martins.
David: Your sister just married a Martin. If this place were a chocolate factory, they'd be the Oompa Loompas.
Griffin: What does that even mean?
David: It means according to them, they keep this place going. Pine Valley would be nothing without those holier than thou imbeciles.
Snark really brings out his eyes.
- Ricky and Griffin's constant one-upsmanship and thinly veiled hatred is more than a little tiresome. To recap every conversation they've ever had:
GRIFFIN: I don't like you.
RICKY: I don't like you either.
GRIFFIN: We'll see about that.
RICKY: Oh, we will.
GRIFFIN: You know...Kendall likes me more.
RICKY: Kendall likes me the most. And so does God.
Pretty lame, but occasionally the sniping is entertaining, like when Ricky says ridiculous things like "It never hurts to have one of God's servants as your co-pilot".
- Griffin and Kendall have moved on to the banter phase of friendship.
Kendall: I was playing a raging game of tag. I'm sure you would have found it very lame.
Griffin: For sure, after I kicked everyone's ass.
Kendall: You know, you really need to work on your self esteem. You're modest!
Griffin: Okay, I'm glad you let loose a little. It's good for your heart.
Kendall: Wait a second, did you just say I did something right?
Griffin: And I regret it already.
It's just that sometimes...the banter doesn't really make sense.
Griffin: Oh, that good, huh?
Kendall: Down boy! I meant, wow, you're...not in scrubs.
Griffin: Why? You've seen me in a suit before.
Kendall: Yeah, well, you look...nice.
Griffin: I'll take it. And look at you, not in a hospital gown, unless...what have you got going on under that coat of yours?
Kendall: Oh, nothing much, really, just...
Griffin: It's definitely not a hospital gown.
Kendall: You like?
Griffin: It's nice.
Kendall: I'll take it.
It was just weird, since they've both seen each other dressed up and in normal clothes, so the whole hospital gown thing just seemed silly. Although I guess it proves how frazzled Griffin is by Kendall. It just makes him come across as sort of...socially awkward.
- I'm not at all sure what to make of Griffin--I think the writers did themselves and Jordi Vilasuso a disservice by immediately stating that he'd be Kendall's next love interest. Not that I expected the writers to let anything happen organically since rushing things, and rushing them poorly, is more their style. And the writing for him since then has either been trying too hard or just plan boring--but I think Jordi Vilasuso is all sorts of handsome.
- HOW FREAKING CUTE ARE SCOTT AND MADISON?
Madison: You don't make me feel useless and small. We're on even ground, you know? Equals. Partners. I never had that with anyone before. I...really want to kiss you.
Scott: But because of last time...?
Scott: Then allow me.
They are adorable. Since when does AMC have MULTIPLE pairings and almost-pairings that I enjoy unabashedly? SINCE NEVER. So this is unsettling. How long will I be able to like Scott and Madison, and Tad and Cara, before they are irrevocably trashed? Probably just a couple of more days, huh, so I should enjoy it while I can...