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« Who's The Lunatic, Anyway? | Main | It's Like "Groundhog Day", Except It's Written Terribly. And Also A Tragedy. »

March 17, 2011

Notes For The Midterm Evaluations...

Note to self: formalize (and clean up?) before submitting to higher-ups with midterm grades and written evaluations. Set up some parent-teacher conferences but do try to avoid some parents (T. Manning, C. Buchanan, R. Ford, R. Balsom).

Little Johnny McBain: Uncooperative. Perhaps earn his respect by offering a few St. Patrick's Day beers. Apparently can consume several liters of hard liquor and still stand. Appears to be struggling with several lessons. Going through a hell of a time after being tricked into a family and then learning he'd been lied to egregiously, but seems to have a great deal of confusion on the points of betrayal. Classmate Kelly uses phrases like, "Brody went behind your back and slept with your fiancee" and Little Johnny fails to correct her. Perhaps offer refresher course on definition of fiancee (i.e., someone you are currently engaged to). Perhaps remind Little Johnny of then-romantic-commitment to Little Marty Saybrooke. Speak to school nurse about addressing rancid-breath issues as a result of several-day bender. (Self: possibly bring air fresheners or Bad Air Sponge to class as his pores are starting to secrete Jack Daniels.) Possibly set classmate Brody up as a tutor for him on how one mans up. Midterm Average: C-

Jack Manning: Is he sleeping okay? Perhaps recent growth spurt has rendered him unable to comfortably make gestures and form convincing sentences. Has always been a little prick but lately directing it more specifically. Seems to goad a female classmate into fake sexual situations she's clearly not comfortable with -- genetic? A major concern. Also confused in chapter on "poor white trash," as he thinks it can apply to family with no housing costs living in giant home on wealthy estate. (Note to self: make appointment only with mother. Avoid father and stepmother, as might be perpetuating problems.) Midterm Average: D+.

Shane Morasco: Showing major improvements. Almost opposite trajectory as classmate Jack, as Shane has become more competent at convincingly communicating words and feelings. Awkward but great potential. Keep eye on for future roles in class play. Midterm Average: B+.

Sam Manning: Absent. Almost all of the time. News says father shot and in hospital -- called home and no answer from mother, siblings, aunt, or staff. Called hospital and no sign of him. Possibly call CPS. Concerned for whereabouts and well-being. Midterm Average: Incomplete.

Starr Manning: Wasted potential. Has become bland and cloying. Has decided rapist hateful father has "good side," though unable to identify it. Insists it has to do with starting food fights and name-calling, which sounds consistent with aforementioned bad side. Helping boyfriend's brother destroy a child and its mother -- also call CPS? Has toddler daughter rarely seen. Who is raising? Seems to always have head cold. Alert school nurse. Midterm Average: C.

Kelly Cramer: Forgot son. Forgot career. Inexplicably attracted to unshowered Little Johnny McBain with rancid breath and whiskey-stinking pores and unclean clothes. Understood when drunk herself, but concerned that she still finds stomach-able. Re-direct her in her studies. Keep separate from Natalie Banks on playground. Midterm Average: C.

Gigi Morasco: Also call CPS? Certain is not child's biological mother. Looks 25. Also, concerned for her "financially struggling" attitude that gets imparted to son Shane. Confusing son. Making him think that living on a sprawling estate in large free house makes them poor. School nurse should be alerted to eye makeup and hairstyle confusion, and taste in men. Midterm Average: B-.

Brody Lovett: Head of the class. Excellent student. Stellar young man. Priorities in order. Loves two non-biological children because in love with children's mother and is virtual father to both, just as he said he would be when he learned the bun in the oven might not share his DNA. Put money where mouth is. Also loving father to biological offspring despite deeply tricky situation. Stand-up guy who has made mistakes but is who I would assign any troubled student to rely on. Successfully pointed out aforementioned flawed logic of former playground friend Little Johnny McBain. (Note to self: avoid one-on-one interactions as personal feelings becoming inappropriate for teacher-student relationship.) Midterm Average: A.

Overall Class Evaluation: Grades slipping considerably from earlier in term. Would like to suspend Todd, Bobby, James, Nate, Starr, Jack, John, Dani, Langston, Rex, Aubrey. Would improve curve. Discuss with principal or Mayor Lord.

Comments

Louise, this is all kinds of AWESOME!

Brody is the man of my dreams.

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