The Entertainment Is, As Always, Purely Unintentional
I'm not sure this is what the writers were aiming for--actually, that's a poor way to phrase it, because it implies that the General Hospital writing staff is actually aiming for something, when I'm reasonably certain that their writing method is basically "You know what would be awesome? [INSERT SOMETHING THAT IS ACTUALLY NOT AWESOME]. But you know what else would also be awesome? [INSERT SOMETHING THAT IS NOT ONLY NOT AWESOME, BUT TOTALLY CONTRADICTS NOT AWESOME THING #1]. Let's do both, and make sure that Jason and Dante are involved!"
Anyway, I'm sure that the writers would be hugely surprised to hear that I clapped my hands (literally) with glee (GLEE!) twice (twice!) today during GH, and would be even MORE surprised to hear what I was so gleeful about. No, it wasn't Sonny's deafening pledge to find Brenda with no help from the police. And no, it wasn't Abby's sweet-yet-monotone counseling of the latest shitty thing to happen to Michael. And, nope, it wasn't the "shock" and "intrigue" of yet another episode ending with a variety of guns pointed at a variety of heads. And it definitely wasn't Jason's declaration of love curing Sam's temporary deafness. Please read that again: Jason's declaration of love cured Sam's temporary deafness. There is cheesy and ridiculous, and then there is that.
It turns out that, as highfalutin as I pretend to be, I am seriously easy to please and, to walk away from an hour of GH satisfied and smiling, all I need is (1) a character speaking the truth and (2) some hilarious ridiculousness.
Let's start with (1), a character speaking the truth. While Sonny was yelling loudly and...longly
Sonny: As my son, as my best man, who stood by me at my wedding as I vowed to....(more pausing) (another pause) (squints as he tries to read either a cue card or the lips of an anguished bystander mouthing "LOVE AND HONOR. SERIOUSLY, IT'S LOVE AND HONOR!") (Pauses again and thinks "Dove and Connor? That doesn't make a lick of sense")...love and honor for the rest of my life.
Dante was growing more and more frustrated with his father, eventually sharing with Lulu some amazing pieces of wisdom and sense, such as:
Dante: Just when I start to feel for the guy [Despite him SHOOTING YOU IN THE CHEST? --Ed.], I want to lock him up and throw away the key.
Lulu: No mater what I think of Sonny, his kids are always the most important thing to him.
Dante: Yeah, he keeps saying that. Heaven forbid he would actually quit the business and set a decent example.
If Dante is going to eat screentime as though it were a particularly delicious Italian feast cooked by Olivia, the least he could do is make comments like this on the regular.
Then there is (2), ridiculousness.
I know that I should be bitter that Jules is a character who exists while people like Jax and Maxie languish somewhere off-screen and unexciting, but: his name is Jules, he works in a cave lair for a man he refers to as Mr. Big, he dreams of being a carnival knife-thrower (it's good to have goals! And how rare is it to encounter someone on this show who doesn't dream of running a crime syndicate?) and when he bumps into someone, he hisses, "Next time: the blade" in the most threatening yet totally not threatening AT ALL voice. Hey, if we're not going to get a well-written show, I have to embrace the camp.