All Good Things Must Come to an End, or at Least a Semi-End (Yes, Semi-End is a Word Now)
I feel like I should go to confession: “Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned; it’s been a year since my last regular blog posts.” But I’m not Catholic, and even if I were, let’s be real, I would not remember to go to confession. (I don't have houseplants because I can never remember to water them, even though I'd see them on a daily basis.) And if I did go, I would have so many things to confess, I would get tripped up trying to prioritize them -- Worst first, to get it out of the way? Or cushion the blow with a few throw-away sins (Do those exist? I hope so!)? –- and figuring out what to wear that I’d have to design some kind of spreadsheet to keep me on track and confession alone would become essentially a part-time job…
Perhaps the above paragraph provides useful context for my non-shocking announcement that follows.
Some longtime Serial Drama followers, particularly those with an ability to read, may have noticed that my posts are few and far between lately; by which I mean I’ve posted about a dozen times in two years. I keep thinking that soon I’ll have time to watch the shows and post, but invariably each month in a panic I watch the shows to write our Soap Opera Digest column and then freak out about making that deadline while a bunch of them from my day job linger as well.
So, after four and half years on Serial Drama and four with Soap Opera Digest, I’m happily bowing out. Or more specifically, I’m leaving my half of our SOD column in the capable hands of the lovely and hilarious Louise Schwartz. And I’m playing professor and going all emeritus-style on the blog, hoping to pop in occasionally with a disjointed gripe or two about kids today while wearing a tweed sportcoat with leather elbow patches*, but turning over official co-blogger status to Louise as well. (* This statement is simply an attempt at humor. I would never, ever wear such a thing.)
Five years ago I was just a budding blogger who watched and hated General Hospital and watched and puzzled over Days of Our Lives’ boringness, and today I leave you…well, I still live hate GH. Nobody said progress had to be forward moving, people! Except the dictionary, and I think we can all agree that it is horribly biased. (For an example, please look up "inept" and see if you see a photo of anyone involved in running ABC Daytime.)
In actuality, there has actually been some forward movement in my life. For those who are interested – and I realize that’s a minority of you! – I can provide some reasons for my absence. Over the last year and a half or so, I:
- Got promoted
- Joined a fancy gym; even got up in time to shlep downtown for 7am sessions with trainer (yes, y’all: it was SERIOUS)
- Finished 8-year-long home remodeling project (possibly involved procrastination)
- Repeatedly and at length pondered the hotness of James Scott and Jason Thompson; wondered whether it had something to do with “J” names
- Got promoted again
- Met Great Guy (bonus: also Hot Guy)
- Started dating Great Guy
- Traveled a lot for work
- Moved in with Great Guy
- Surprised everyone by marrying Great Guy while on vacation, after dating for a whopping eight months (Disclaimer: Well, we surprised almost everyone, except our immediate families, who were there, and a couple of friends, including Mallory, who was a voice of sanity and fashion advice. Disclaimer #2: Our wedding was at a ski lodge and one of my fellow soap-watching friends pointed out that from the photos it reminded her of Grant and Vicki’s wedding on AW, so now I have THAT to deal with.)
- Watched my soaps as required for our SOD column; had several GH-related rage-induced blackouts
- Got a puppy (He is crazy adorable. I would put photos up here, but I'd rather not give you concrete proof that I've lost my edge, showing my progression from posting screencaps like this to posting ones of an adorable widdle pupppyyyyy. I will instead post them on Facebook, where people who would mock me face the immense threat of being defriended by someone who logs on once every three months.)
- Got a fancy new steam front-loading washer and dryer (Okay, this one hasn’t affected the time I have to dedicate to the blog or column, but it just happened last week and they are AMAZING and, I’m reasonably certain, life-changing.)
So, there you go. Lots of changes, basically all wonderful, but my “free” time all but disappeared or was re-allocated to things that had to take priority over mocking the many mockable aspects of daytime dramas -- so you know they HAD to be good things, because seriously...
And now having already engaged in that narcissistic bulleting, let me go all out. I don't want to sound like a phony Emmy-speech or anything, but I'm going to just "spontaneously" pull a printed index card out of my sweaty hand to thank:
- The fabulous-in-every-way Mallory for being the best co-blogger a girl could ask for, and an even better friend, if that's possible.
- Stephanie Sloane at Soap Opera Digest for finding our little blog and giving us a magazine column, which STILL sounds ridiculous (in a delightful way) when I type it out. Thanks to Steph also for letting me speak my hypercritical and biased mind over the years with almost no editing (except for grammatical and punctuation errors, which I imagine were many but that she's somehow managed never to comment on).
- Louise for stepping in with her wit and soap-wisdom to bring OLTL fans to the blog, and taking on a new soap to cover here and in the magazine.
- All of you, dear readers, for providing awesome feedback and insight about the shows you love so much. (Er, and those you hate so much...so very, very much.)
- Soaps, especially Days of Our Lives and General Hospital, for hooking me as a youngster and providing such great grist for our bitchy mill.
- katie f, for keeping me grounded.
So all that is my long-winded way of saying thank you, and please don't talk too much crap about me after I'm gone.