If I'm This Easy To Please, Why Do They Please Me So Rarely?
Okay, so "please" is a bit of an overstatement, but truly, today's General Hospital did not make me rage-y! Probably because I fast-forwarded through most of it (and, frankly, the parts I fast-forwarded through looked positively DREADFUL: so much Abby and Michael and Kristina being played by Lisa. She should at least be savvy to recognize what Lisa is!). And mostly because it introduced us to the unfortunately (though, eyeroll, meaningfully) named Lucian who is ALL SORTS OF FREAKING CUTE.
You may be wondering--probably not, because they've been dropping anvil-sized "hints" about it for ages but, just in--who Lucian is. He's the son Brenda thought she miscarried and, judging by his dark hair and eyes, is truly her son with Alexander and not the secret Jacks baby I had been hoping for (call me a crazed 'shipper if you must but seriously, how amazing would it have been for Brenda and Jax to have had a child? CRAZY AMAZING is the only acceptable answer to that question. Imagine the storyline potential! Imagine Carly's head literally bursting with rage and jealousy! I love the GH that plays in my head). Adrienne Barbeau dropped him off at Sonny's today in a series of bizarre scenes where she basically said, "I stole your child and lied to you for years, but Theo was way crazy. So if you really gave this some serious thought, you'd be thanking me for this."
Brenda was, as you'd imagine, enraged and confused and Sonny was both fiercely protective of and obviously concerned for Brenda, and can I just say? Maurice Benard was spot-on today. I am surprised as anybody that I just typed those words in that order, but he was great and was especially so in the moment where he interacted with Lucian. He does some of his best work with children and I seriously believe that if the writers ever wanted to redeem Sonny, all they'd need to do is have him interact only with the children of Port Charles and I'd be on board. Or I'd be on board if they managed to pull it off in a way that seems a little less creepy and Pied Piper than that sentence reads to me, but I suppose it's a moot point since the writers don't think Sonny NEEDS redemption.
I will say that it's a bit...concerning that they didn't immediately hightail it to a lab to have a DNA test done. I know it was late (I think? I can never tell what time it's supposed to be on this show, especially since it has a habit of changing from scene to scene) but Sonny has been a part of so many paternity scandals over the years that I'd think a lab would bend over backwards for their best customer!