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« The Tale of The Poor, Persecuted Hitman | Main | Lennie Briscoe Would Not Stand For This! »

April 06, 2011

If I'm This Easy To Please, Why Do They Please Me So Rarely?

Okay, so "please" is a bit of an overstatement, but truly, today's General Hospital did not make me rage-y! Probably because I fast-forwarded through most of it (and, frankly, the parts I fast-forwarded through looked positively DREADFUL: so much Abby and Michael and Kristina being played by Lisa. She should at least be savvy to recognize what Lisa is!). And mostly because it introduced us to the unfortunately (though, eyeroll, meaningfully) named Lucian who is ALL SORTS OF FREAKING CUTE.

He is as precious as precious can be.

You may be wondering--probably not, because they've been dropping anvil-sized "hints" about it for ages but, just in--who Lucian is. He's the son Brenda thought she miscarried and, judging by his dark hair and eyes, is truly her son with Alexander and not the secret Jacks baby I had been hoping for (call me a crazed 'shipper if you must but seriously, how amazing would it have been for Brenda and Jax to have had a child? CRAZY AMAZING is the only acceptable answer to that question. Imagine the storyline potential! Imagine Carly's head literally bursting with rage and jealousy! I love the GH that plays in my head). Adrienne Barbeau dropped him off at Sonny's today in a series of bizarre scenes where she basically said, "I stole your child and lied to you for years, but Theo was way crazy. So if you really gave this some serious thought, you'd be thanking me for this."

Brenda was, as you'd imagine, enraged and confused and Sonny was both fiercely protective of and obviously concerned for Brenda, and can I just say? Maurice Benard was spot-on today. I am surprised as anybody that I just typed those words in that order, but he was great and was especially so in the moment where he interacted with Lucian. He does some of his best work with children and I seriously believe that if the writers ever wanted to redeem Sonny, all they'd need to do is have him interact only with the children of Port Charles and I'd be on board. Or I'd be on board if they managed to pull it off in a way that seems a little less creepy and Pied Piper than that sentence reads to me, but I suppose it's a moot point since the writers don't think Sonny NEEDS redemption.

I will say that it's a bit...concerning that they didn't immediately hightail it to a lab to have a DNA test done. I know it was late (I think? I can never tell what time it's supposed to be on this show, especially since it has a habit of changing from scene to scene) but Sonny has been a part of so many paternity scandals over the years that I'd think a lab would bend over backwards for their best customer!


Lucien & Cam really need to have a cuteness scene together. Why doesn't anyone suspect that Abby is the shooter? I'm not spoiled, so I don't know if she is, but they haven't even considered her as a suspect. Da hell?

Silly Mallory, Guza & Co. couldn't give us a J&B baby. That would have been a good, classic soap story that would have actually tied the demented SBJC quadrangle together. It would have provided for decent storytelling and entertainment. Those things aren't allowed anymore.

But....if we must find a good point. That kid really is ADORABLE. I don't care about Brenda's kid from some random but my goodness! So cute!

>Why doesn't anyone suspect that Abby is the shooter?

Because she lacks any brain cells?

haha, sonny probably has a card! "order three dna tests and get the fourth free!!"

Why should I care about Brenda and Lucian? Seriously? Why? I have no vested interest in a baby from a guy that we saw on our TV screen for five minutes! Besides, Guza said that Brenda did NOT need the baggage of a baby and wasn't going to write in any children. I guess he changed his mind.

I CARE about Liz and Jake. We actually watched Liz's pregnancy play out on our TV screen and she and Jake almost died on the OR table. Jake. Jake is another cutie that should have not ended up in some asinine HnR that was over with in five freaking days!

I would think Brenda and Jax would know if they slept together after she left town in 2003.

But remember Brenda's reaction to Suzanne saying "You didn't have a fever. I gave you drugs..."

Brenda was "OH MY GOD." For a minute I thought she'd broken character and it was Vanessa Marcil sputtering at the absurdity of this storyline.

That child is cute, though, and I too smiled at Sonny's "Hey little boy! I'm Sonny."

I love the GH that plays in my head too. Best part of it is, Sonny is never involved!

Oh, my lamentably sorry show--how I once adored you! I used to rush home from school hoping to catch a bit of GH. I loved the snappy repartee between Alan and Monica, you remember, back when “characters” and “dialogue” meant more than “..hee, hee—shoot ‘em up! goes BOOM!” You are not even that good at special effects. You’ve killed off or sidelined or marginalized every legacy character. You bore me to tears.

Sadly, the return of Brenda is the last nail in the GH coffin for me. I cannot stand this insipid character who they insist on dressing like a ten year old and everyone must protect (even though the dolt insists on long walks alone and a big fairy tale wedding—gag!). Her whiny, gravelly voiced, squinty eyed line delivery grates on my nerves almost as much as those long sleeves pulled over her scrawny hands. And when you couple all that with……uh….you know…..uh…..uh……Sonny…...you know? I just can’t take any more.

I don’t care about any of the characters onscreen now. There’s no longevity to them, no long term back story or history. They are almost all throwaways. I’m sick of everyone espousing how they “have to protect Michael”. I suppose they’ll still be “protecting Michael” when he’s collecting Social Security benefits. Will they even let him stroll out to the mailbox to pick up his own check? Doubtful.

Yesterday, when Suzanne showed up with Lucien, I switched channels to QVC. QVC for God’s sake! And I’m happier for it.

So long, GH.

Kathy Van

They had to give Brenda a child with someone off the canvas as part of VMG's escape clause.

I've said it before, like so many of you, I miss the GH that was so good and made me want to know what would happen next. Made me actually think about what would happen next. When a character would get their deserved comeuppance. (That all stopped when Sonny and/or Carly could get away with ANYthing heinous that they did.) This show has gotten so predictable that it sickens me to watch two minutes of it anymore. I'm so sad that the GH I used to enjoy has turned into a fest of irritation to me. This show sucks so bad. It's sad to me to see the soap opera genre die this horrible death.

Heroes who are criminals. Blah, GMAFB!

***Why should I care about Brenda and Lucian? Seriously? Why? I have no vested interest in a baby from a guy that we saw on our TV screen for five minutes! Besides, Guza said that Brenda did NOT need the baggage of a baby and wasn't going to write in any children. I guess he changed his mind.

I CARE about Liz and Jake. We actually watched Liz's pregnancy play out on our TV screen and she and Jake almost died on the OR table. Jake. Jake is another cutie that should have not ended up in some asinine HnR that was over with in five freaking days!*****

THAT! Right there.

I agree with everyone here about not caring about anything on the show yesterday, however I did semi-enjoy the Sonny/Brenda scenes. Which is weird because most of the time I am busy scrambling for my remote to change the channel before the screeching and eye-rolling induced acting causes me medical harm. I think Lucian (really, Guza...really??) is adorable!

Now hang on Mallory because I am kind of on board with possibly still being a Jax/Brenda baby, that is IF Lucian really is Brenda's child to begin with since I don't trust Suzanne as far as I could throw her. But VMG (and therefore Brenda) has very dark features which would most likely genetically override Jax's more blonde/blue eyed ones. It would still be possible for them to make the baby Jax's but the main thing here is for VMG to leave the canvas and take the child with her, he would have to have no connection to anyone on screen. While I know Ingo is going to be on less, I don't see his character just up and leaving with Brenda & child while letting Carly have Joss (and Morgan to an extent).

I think it would be an AWESOME storyline if he did leave though (with Brenda) and took Joss and Morgan with him without telling Carly (which, unfortuneately, is very realistic of a lot of custody battles). I'm not sure what the laws are like in Austrailia for kidnapping but Jax has a LOT of money and while Sonny would help Carly look, it's very feasible that Jax would be able to stay off the radar with the kids. Then a couple years down the road he appears back in town with the children (or without)...

Jackie ...Thank you.

Your GH storyline involving Jax and Brenda and kids. Great!

I'm enjoying "your GH take" so much better.

SIng it, Kathy Van! I gave up GH a couple of years ago but for some reason still follow it online. It's very freeing and I don't seem to get mad watching TV anymore.

I love all your ideas! I like the GH in my head too...

Lucian-- Really???!! We don't have enough Luke, Lucas, Lucky and now Lucian...

GH casting does a great job with children and actors/actresses for the most part!

Ugh. My son is meaningfully named Lucien. It offends me that Guza meaningfully named a character such a similar name.

Didn't GH already use this name? Isn't that what Stavros called himself when he came back from the dead?

Ok... So the kid is named Lucien... And that is supposed to tie hime to the Cassadines (possibly)... but they just fired the only actor that plays a character with the last name Cassadine... Or is the kid somehow a Spencer? Lucky, Luke, Lucas, Lucien? Basically I DON'T GET THE MEANING! Can someone explain it to me in small words?? GH has sucked my IQ down to that of a stapler and I really don't understand why you guys don't think Jason is a hero or that Sonny is really 6 feet tall and bulletproof...

Holy shit!! It just hit me. Dante? Lucien?? I'm a little slow but it came to me. Which means that if VMG stays long enough it will come out that Sonny is raising his own grandson. ICK!

Dante denied ever sleeping with Brenda. He had the hawtsssss for Brenda but never acted on his feelings.

Oh Ladybug, I know that's what they SAID, but Guza doesn't do anything like stick to history or storyline or think that fans actually REMEMBER anything that was said. So it could definitely come out that Brenda and Dante slept together. Hell, it could come out that they've been married, divorced, married again, left for dead, had another child they gave up, that Brenda is an evil clone, that Dante is really the son of Satan come to claim his son, Lucian...God only knows what Guza can conceive of in that twisted, oversized melon of his.

I find myself realizing I am zoning out when a commercial for OXYCLEAN or some such snaps me out of it. I think it's partly me concentrating really hard, trying to figure out if I'm really hearing the dialogue that's coming out and sheer boredom.

I realized that a scene with Abby and Michael had ended, and I had spent most of it staring at that black scab on her lip and wondering if they shot the whole thing in one take or if it was some poor schmo's job to make sure it ended up in the EXACT same place every day. Couldn't tell you what happened in the scene otherwise.

Same thing happened in the scene with Abby and Kristina. I LOATHE Lisa's mouth when she says "Patrick." Her lips have all this goopy lip gloss on, and then when she says his name, her lips get this weird, grotesque shape, and....I don't know. So I was mesmerized looking at her say words, and then I saw her hand that book to Kristina, and I started thinking about how it looked like one of those "For Dummies" books and wow, did she just give her a "How to Stalk your Ex-Lover by Boiling Stuffed Animals - for Dummies?" or was it some other kind of dummy book and what was it, and hey, didn't I used to have a Pilates for Dummies book, and man, my stomach is getting kind of flabby and maybe I should find it...and....

The scene was over.

I think my interest in GH is pretty damn over, too.


And agreed, I do believe that they are going to take this "Lucian" parentage thang back towards Dante, because how else could this s/l continue to be all about Sonny, Carly and Jason, when VMG is on her way out.


I think the posters are more interesting than the actual show.

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