The Tale of The Poor, Persecuted Hitman
Really, Sam? REALLY? We're just going to ignore the giant Glock in the room?
Sam: Why do the police always suspect Jason first?
Because he is an actual factual murderer? Because he has spent the past decade and a half pledging to do whatever it takes to protect Michael (who has really stopped deserving such a level of seflessness on account of his horrible life choices, but that's a rant for another time. And since I'm already foreshadowing a larger rant, let me ask you this: the story about Brandon's death is going to last about ten times longer than Jake's, isn't it?) and has, in fact, killed on Michael's behalf before? Because it's a contractual obligation that Jason be a part of every single story on this show? Should I keep going on or have I made my point, and in case I haven't, that point was DUH.