I'd say I don't care about Jessica anymore (especially in light of her alter's sudden "feelings" for Ford) but Viki and Clint's concern makes me care. They break my heart. Clint breaking while he told Joey to never be like him? Oh, Weezie's easily-won-over, forgiving heart (and for real, ask anyone, if you feel bad about something for about one-third of a second I'll pretty much forgive you for anything if I ever enjoyed you; it's... not a strength, probably). Jerry verDorn playing Clint's rejection of Rex as something closer to trying to "save" Rex from becoming just like him? Yep, I love me some Lord-Buchanans and all their many flaws and strengths and heinous crimes and acts of love. I'm easy. With them.
From the cold open I thought we were given the great gift of a Ford-free Tuesday, but alas, we got possibly the worst day yet of the Ford Redemption Tour 2011. We had Ford having flashbacks to when Tess was heartbreakingly carted off to the Funny Farm, where she belongs and where Jessica needs to be to get help and to be there for her (AND FORD'S) son. (Do people still call it the Funny Farm anymore? Let me get my spectacles and look it up on my mantle's dictionary -- it's right next to my gramophone.) Oh, my heart bleeds for Ford having to deal with the mother of his child actually getting treatment so she can be there for her infant. Because remember, Ford and Tess totally bonded. Their love is really one for the ages. It's so forbidden because it's between a whiny asshole sexual predator and a symptom of a mental disorder -- hot, forbidden love! I swoon. How romantic. My greatest fantasy.
And then Ford continued being our heroic champion by eavesdropping on Shane's conversation with his mother about his suicide attempt (in fairness, Shane was having this conversation in public) and then going over and telling Shane he knows just how he feels. Apparently Ford was awkward and gangly and poorly-dressed in high school and got mocked? Oh yeah, he's got all the classic symptoms of a high school misfit. SPARE ME. Whenever I hear his pathetic sob stories of his childhood, I can't help but think about how he ditched his helpless little brother in that situation and never looked back. So forgive me if I don't bleed sympathy upon hearing this brand new sniffly backstory.
And then... WAIT A MINUTE, HOLD THE PHONE.
Gigi: (to Ford) I still think what you did to Jessica last year was wrong, but I think Ryder's very lucky to have you as a Dad and I hope you get him back.
I don't know what the sweet fuck that sentence was about, or why Gigi thinks Ford is all of a sudden a super father and that Jessica shouldn't have custody of her son when she gets out of treatment, but I guess it's just another in a long line of characters to magically decide that all children should be handed over to child-whisperer Ford, Daddy of the Year. Honestly, at this point I'd appreciate it if they'd leave the "what you did to Jessica was wrong, but" business out of any Ford praise, because it's just lip service and it's insulting. If they're going to sink a character by making them do an about-face on this piece of boring crap, they should just embrace it completely so that I can choose to view the whole thing as some sort of absurdist exercise.