That. Was. Awesome.
I am, of course, referring to Jess' new alter "Wes," who is based on Jessica's memories of Brody's old Navy SEAL buddy Wes Granger. Bree Williamson clearly did months of research for this, and is essentially channeling Justin Paul Kahn (who won the role of Wes by participating in the former SoapNet reality competition show So You Want To Be A Soap Star). She has absolutely disappeared into this role. Brava!
Okay, I'm an asshole and am obviously joking. In fact, the only part of this whole "Wes" catastrophe that's not pure horror was the look on Cristian's face and the fact that he interrupted Brody's worried call with, "Jessica's a dude." And everyone in the scenes looked half like their characters were laughing at how bad it was and half like the actors were laughing at how bad it was. Otherwise, sweet Jesus, somebody put this storyline out of its misery immediately. If I were to tune in tomorrow and there were just a white screen over several muted scenes and from then on all of the characters pretended that this never happened, I would not question it. FEEL FREE TO DO THIS, SHOW. YOU ARE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF, SHOW. Please stop it. As Kelly would say, "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! Stop it! You are stopping it!"
What was awesome today on One Life to Live? The lovely scenes between Clint and Viki. I have always loved Clint and Viki, no matter who's playing Clint, and no matter if it's as co-parents or friends or lovers. The words "Sloan Carpenter" make bile rise in my throat to this day. In fact, I'm a little shaken right now that I just typed that name. And damn. They went way back today, back to Clint having adopted Kevin and Joey. We got Clint saying how he'd like to run that bum (Charlie) out of town for breaking her heart. Clint will always see Viki as the best woman he's ever known and Jerry ver Dorn (who, oh yeah, wasn't nominated for an effing Emmy) never forgets to play that for a second whether it's written into the scene or not.
You know what else was awesome? Marty's fast ride on the Crazy Train. It's been awesome for days. And now it's put Kelly in the hospital with a stab wound.
Kelly's a victim now, she's a damsel in distress! Normally I'd say this cinches it and that John will be madly in love with her now, but then again, Marty just threw Natalie off a roof. Threw her. Didn't push her.
Picked her up and threw her (and then celebrated!). So, that combined with Liam's paternity is pretty much an automatic, lame recipe for a John and Natalie reunion.
As semi-frustrating as it was that Kelly and Natalie had to be made to behave like complete idiots the last few days to amp up Marty's crazy (Kelly should have picked up that knife and walked out the second she realized things were going in a dark direction, and Natalie... I mean really, Natalie just had to outline her plan and taunt Marty after Marty had already tried to kill her with her infant SON sitting right there), it's been a blast and one hell of a tour de force from Susan Haskell. I admit I was all twisted up for a while there that Marty's crazy is tied up in asshat John McBain, but then I realized -- this breakdown has nothing to do with him. It wasn't caused by him. Her obsession with him is a symptom and not the cause of her madness, and that I can live with. Because really? Why else but insanity would anyone be obsessed with John?
"WTF, Mom? WTF?"