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« Begrudging Props For A Wholly Unexpected Source | Main | All Of These Actors Deserve a Raise, Seriously »

June 03, 2011

A List Of Things I Couldn't Possibly Care Less About, In Brief, Part I

1. The stupid tape of Marty's therapy session on which she reveals that John is really Liam's father. They can go ahead and stop having all the near-misses with it and the dramatic close-ups. Why in the world is paternity the thing we're supposed to care about now? Both possible fathers are cops who are actively engaged in the search for baby Liam. The tape only has paternity information on it -- could they please stop following it around with the camera acting as if this will magically give them clues to Marty's whereabouts? It won't. I understand why the characters on the show think it might, but we know it won't. Because it won't. Who freaking cares who a missing child's bio-father is (or is not) while it's missing. Find the kid! Who cares that Marty switched the tests and who cares that Natalie and Brody kissed? What is it about "missing baby, held by knife-wielding lunatic who, when motivated enough, has the strength to lift an actual car" is confusing here? Am I supposed to be upset that Roxy hasn't listened to the tape and might tape over it? I'M NOT. (Of course, once they find the kid, I still won't really want the tape to be heard because it's stupidly going to lead to a bunch of inexplicable insta-forgiveness -- which is silly since Natalie needs to be available for Cristian or a resurrected Jared, obviously. I fully admit that. But for now, it's for practical reasons that I just do not give a shit.)

Dun dun DUNH.

2. What Roger Howarth's Todd does or has to do to get back to Llanview. Just get him back to Llanview!

That is my list. Thank you for your time.


Well, I only missed nonsense that would have frustrated me. Poor Ilene Kristen. Trotted out after months of being MIA to play Roxy doing this. Ugh.

Just find Liam already!

Yeah, I dunno whether to be happy to see Roxy or annoyed they brought her out of storage for this.

I agree about finding Liam. It should be priority. Although I feel like a lot of great things were missed yesterday. Like Kelly and Joey. I love Todd's escape since it shows the REAL character.

Also, I can't believe this wasn't mentioned in the update. Patrick's alive.

I love OLTL, but they have totally trashed the character of Marty. I was so excited when Susan Haskell came back and to see it go downhill this way.....just sad. Plus, find the damn kid already, this is eating up WAY too much time for a show with only a few months left.

I actually almost put "Patrick's alive" as #3 on my list of things I couldn't care less about, but then I realized that I do care a smidge. The tiniest, tiniest sliver. I don't need scenes with him but I'm sort of interested in what he has to do with this whole Todd thing and what, if anything, it has to do with Marty's madness.

It's an interesting storytelling paradox, I think, actually, because WE know it has nothing to do with anything about finding Liam, but the characters don't know that, so them looking for the tape makes sense. And, really, at this point I just want the damn paternity revealed so we can get on to the nauseating Natalie and John reunion, and poor Brody can cry man-tears (I'm a sucker for Mark Lawson's man-tears) at losing ANOTHER son.

Roger Howarth's Great Escape definitely made up for some of that "I. Have. A. Daughter. Her name is Starr!!!" crap, though, to be fair to him, I don't think any actor could have made that work. And I'm quite happy he'll be in Llanview next week, it looks like. We had quite enough CIA prison.

I really wish they had left Brody as Liam's dad. THey still could have gotten Nat and John back together if they wanted (not my first choice but fine whatever) and had Brody be the dad. Would have had more dramatic consequences that way.

I just want the truth out so Brody can have his mental break that the show is obviously going to make him have in order to prop John/Natalie and Ford/Jess since Brody is obviously 100x the man either John or Ford will ever be.

I hate this show.

Oh, say, could we please have a little rant about John McBain kicking doors down with his hands in his pockets? So CSI in all black and cool and stuff.

Kathy Van

I'm just glad Todd isn't repeating himself anymore. And Louise, what? You don't care that John will never know unless they play that tape???

That was meant to have a LOL at the end...

Yep, it was funny that the unwashed McBain can kick in doors with his hands in his pockets when I'm sure just the odor off his body could melt it. GIVE THAT MAN A SHOWER!! I think he and Gnat are a match made in heaven myself. Couldn't happen to a better pair of pains.

I'm dumbfounded by the way it appears they are going to treat Brody. This guy has been pretty much a stand-up guy - and certainly has been both loving and appropriate in his feelings about being a dad, be it biological or not. And he's the only father figure Bree really knows. To think that TIIC will throw over this character, after we've watched him act like an adult with a sense of morality, for that walking muck of mold, Fudd, is, is....disgusting, though that's not a strong enough word. If Jessica "falls" for the guy who has abused her continually throughout her mental illness, that will be a serious blot on the show. And what makes Fudd such a good father, anway?? Because he coos at the kid?

Must FF all Fudd scenes. Must.

OLTL is bending over backwards (lol) to make the fans accept the rapist known as Ford and his desire to be the best-est Daddy that ever lived. I'm not buying it for one second. Ford should have remained a sleaze bag because he is NOT Nash!

I think RH's scenes were originally slated for July and I give props to OLTL for moving them up to May. I do not mind that Todd has been slowly making his way back to Llanview. At least he's not spending 3 months in Rome with Brenda Barrett!

Brody. I heart the "wee pocket soldier" and am thoroughly ticked off that he's getting the shaft for that slimy and grinning Ford!

Ugh. ME is one of Frons' pets which means he will ALWAYS win no matter what.

SH as crazy azz Marty has been firing on all cylinders. I look at Marty as someone who has been pushed to the brink with Patty Boy's death, Cole's penchant for violence, sleeping with Todd her rapist, losing a baby at the age of 40, and being in the same room with McBore!

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