A New Approach (or For The Sake Of My Sanity)
I'm declaring my One Life to Live posts here on Serial Drama a Robert Ford-free zone for the remainder of this week. We'll see if I can stick to it, but it seems like a fun experiment just to see if it enhances my viewing pleasure. (Oh I'll still watch, because it is what I do, but I will ignore it in response. I have no idea if it'll work, and if it'll be possible to discuss other goings-on in Llanview without his polluting them somehow, but here goes nothin'!) Today, I delve into this grand experiment by grounding myself in this brave new world with a simple recap, devoid of any opinions (you believe me, right? Okay, that part might not be part of this project.) and we'll see how it goes. We'll see if this world makes any sense.
We open on Cutter further explaining how he blackmailed the Buchanan estate from Clint in exchange for Jessica. Joey is still shaking his hand, which is aching from the beating he gave Cutter in yesterday's episode. And I say again, isn't Tom Degnan lookin' better these days?
Rex is continuing to yell at Clint, who flatlines. Viki comes in and rushes out to get a doctor as Rex's eyes dart back and forth because... that's kind of his thing. He and Natalie must've gone to some eye-darting classes together in their youth.
Destiny gives Dani and Nate the news that Matthew's surgery didn't go well, just as Bo asks the doctor if she's saying that Matthew is brain-dead.
Credits. Flowing hair! Wind! Charlie. Aw. Oh and, "Created by Agnes Nixon and Destroyed by Brian Frons and Anne Sweeney." (Okay, maybe not that whole thing.)
Deanna is... ugh. Deanna is on the episode. She calls Nate to assure him again that Matthew's going to be fine, since she would totally know.
Destiny tells her pals how rough Matthew looked coming out of surgery, while Bo and Nora get more information from the doctor about their son's condition. The doctor acts a little bit like she's telling them "We can't save that tooth, I'm sorry" rather than "your son's permanently brain-dead." Nora points out that Matthew has beaten the medical odds in the past, and they demand more tests.
The doctors come in to try to revive Clint, so far to no avail. Rex grimaces.
Cutter hasn't wiped off his bloody nose yet, so it's just gross even though he's a pretty boy. He tells Aubrey that he took Clint's house because she and Joey live there, so now he can kick them out.
Rama: I warned you to be careful with Cutter's heart!
Speculation: Rama tries to get preggers by Cutter to pass it off as Vimal's? Just a thought. Just trying to figure out what her role in all this is and why she's standing by Cutter (other than money, which is of course the primary reason). I was thinking that's what would happen between her and Cris, but maybe now she'll target Cutter? I don't care a lot, but I'm a tad curious what the plan is with her (if there is one?).
Outside Clint's hospital room, the doctor shows up with some medical jargon and says Clint is alive and stable but his heart is very bad and he'll need a donor. Oh, here we go. Viki lets the cat out of the bag and tells Rex that Clint is dying (Rex: BUG EYES).
Matthew's posse (plus Nate) follow him as he's rolled down the hallway to get more tests run. Everyone looks grim, and Destiny overhears the doctor saying that Matthew is never coming back. She is... not happy about this news. (STILL IN DENIAL HERE. STILL. IN. DENIAL.)
Nate's going to try to dig up more info on what's up with Matthew, while Dani goes after Destiny.
Viki fills Rex in on Clint's condition, and Rex blames himself for having exacerbated things by yelling at Clint. He likens it to when Tess caused Viki's heart attack. That's... a stretch.
Joey agrees to stay with Aubrey for now, for Ryder's sake. Rama asks the most important question: what about her?
Viki tells Rex he had a right to be angry and talks about how Clint has become more like Asa since Asa died. She insists that Clint still has a good man inside of him and that she hopes Rex gets a chance to see that side. Dani runs into Viki and tells her what she knows about Matthew.
Bo gets called into the station, and Nora stays behind at the hospital. I can't deal with this. Nope, I can't.
Nate finds Destiny and she tells him what she overheard -- that Matthew isn't coming back, which is unfortunate news for Nate but not that big a deal for me SINCE IT'S NOT REALLY HAPPENING.
Rick the porn guy chats Deanna up at the Buenos Dias. Because, well, she's extremely attractive and a very stiff actress so, you know, perfect.
Aubrey tells Cutter she never wants to see him again, but that she never meant to hurt him. He sort of smirks at her, which is still undercut by all the bloody-faced-ness of the situation. Rama yells at Aubrey, which is probably unwise since Aubrey has a lot on Rama.
Rick tells Deanna she "could make bank with just one scene." (No, no she couldn't.)
Nate leaves for work, but not before astutely observing that Destiny needs tissues. And has a flashback to sucker-punching Matthew which led to the head injury that led to this situation WHICH IS NOT HAPPENING.
Nora calls Rachel. Nora calls Rachel! She finds some old photos of the family from years ago that just happen to be in her pocketbook and I am going to die, y'all, I can't take it. NOT HAPPENING. She tapes a family photo up onto some of the medical equipment. Viki arrives and puts her hand on Nora's shoulder.
Rex goes to tell Bo about Clint, when Bo stops him to fill him in on Matthew. Rex talks about what it felt like when Shane was sick with leukemia and how helpless he felt. Bo says Matthew's eyes looked like the lights were off. BUT IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
THEN THE GREATEST THING HAPPENS. I can't even... y'all. I'm serious. Aubrey yells at Rama and reveals everything Rama did (blackmailed her, lied to Vimal about being pregnant so she could sleep with Cristian) and Rama hauls off and slaps her. And, yes, this is funny to begin with, but it's made exponentially funnier by the fact that while this is happening, Cutter is standing in the frame nonchalantly examining some sort of bust. And then it's made even better by the fact that we jump right back to the scene and Rama calls Aubrey out for making money from sex and Aubrey slaps her right back (a slap that Shenaz Treasury takes really well, I might add). Now, they're just showing these scenes in super-short cuts interspersed with another scene that doesn't exist so it's hard to really talk about it, but it's really hilariously and awesomely done. We cut back and Cutter tells the ladies that the fun's over and instead they start squealing and (after Aubrey removes her earrings, mind you!!) throwing each other down on the couch by one another's hair. Screaming a lot and throwing each other around the room. Cutter makes sure they don't knock over an expensive lamp (though they do destroy some glassware, for sure) as he sort of stands there half-heartedly suggesting they stop. Fuzzy screencaps will not do this justice, but I'll try.
Then we cut back to it and they are still going. Rolling around and throwing each other and screaming. Rama manages to pull out a pretty big chunk of Aubrey's hair, calling her "dyed-blond whore" which Aubrey takes offense to, insisting (with a physical kick into the air, no less!) that she does not dye her hair! Cutter is loving every damn second of this.
(Josh Kelly was terrific in this scene.) Then Joey comes in and ruins all the fun by yelling at them to stop, because he needs help with Ryder. Joey and Aubrey head upstairs while Cutter tells Rama how hot that fight was and that he'll be sad to see her go, which she explains isn't going to happen.
Seriously, that was awesome. Major kudos to everyone involved in that -- all the actors, the fight choreographers, the editors, the director. Absolutely hilarious. Best thing that's happened by far since Rama, Cutter, and Aubrey were introduced as characters. By far.
Oh yeah. Sad stuff. I should maybe complain that they'd put such a silly (BUT AWESOME) scene in the midst of an episode about something so tragic but since the tragic thing ISN'T REALLY HAPPENING, everything about it is just fine. So Nora fills Viki in and Bo fills Rex in further on the Matthew situation. A nurse arrives to say Matthew's on his way back from the tests. Bo asks Rex why he's at the hospital and Rex avoids the question.
Rama reminds Cutter of his secret that she knows but even Aubrey doesn't, so he agrees to let her stay. Just before leaving the house with Ryder, Aubrey insists to Joey that she's going to make this up to him. He's not particularly interested in anything she has to say.
Dani and Destiny fret about Matthew and Viki frets to Rex about Clint and Matthew and Clint's doctor shows up with bad news.
Matthew's doctor tells Bo and Nora that the new tests showed more brain activity than they'd originally thought, but it still doesn't look like good news.
Clint's doctor tells Viki and Rex that Clint won't last long and his last heart attack was catastrophic.
Matthew's doctor says that there's only a minimal chance that Matthew will recover, which Destiny and Dani overhear and are anguished. Destiny wants to know how this happened.
Deanna finds Nate puking and he tells her that Matthew's dying and that he killed him, which Rick the Porn Guy overhears. Why do we need Deanna and Rick in this storyline again? Why?
Clint's doctor tells Viki and Rex that Clint has moved to the top of the transplant list and that all he needs is a heart, and naturally we cut to maybe-brain-dead Matthew on life support. Which is okay because it isn't really happening!
Huh. So let's review my little experiment. Despite some upsetting events transpiring in the episode and despite the presence of the very unnecessary Rick and Deanna, I guess this was some damn good soap today! I didn't miss anything, did you? Good stuff. (In seriousness, if you're among the many who are trying not to watch right now because of a not-worth-mentioning craptastic character, do check out the catfight. SO FUN. Made even better by the fact that it's not really involving important characters -- when female characters I like get into it that way I always get uncomfortable that they're behaving like that.) (Though I'd take a re-visit between Blair and Tea once before the end, just for funsies.)