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« And Amber Has An Aha Moment | Main | Wait A Second. »

June 14, 2011

Redefining "Life or Death Situation"

I mean, we all have different ideas of what we would do with our final moments if we indeed knew they were our final moments and were lucid for them. I would not presume to say that there is a "right" choice to make in such a situation. But I would go out on a limb and say there are a few things that would certainly not be on the list of possibilities. If, say, I were trapped in a room with an obvious carbon monoxide leak and I thought it was probable that death was imminent, for instance. If in that situation I had teenage son and a fiancé waiting for me at the courthouse for our wedding. If in that situation I came across a small tape recorder and happened to have a stock of AAA batteries right there in my purse, and I realized that in my final moments I had the chance to record a few words to leave for my loved ones -- not to mention a few words identifying the people responsible for my being trapped in a potentially deadly situation. If I accidentally realized there was already a recording on the tape of someone in a therapy session in which she might explain how she, as she put it, broke up two people I knew. If all of those elements lined up? Do you know what I can promise you I would not do? Here's what I would not do:


I would not spend several of my final moments listening to the tape. Because do you know what I would not care about in my possible final moments? Not in a million, trillion years? What some woman did to break up my friend and her fiancé.

Seriously so much of this show is spent on, "Hm, when Marty said she did something to break up <insert some variation of me and John, me and Natalie, Natalie and John here>, what could she possibly have meant?" First of all, it's absurd that no one's thought it might have something to do with the paternity test. But second of all, it really shouldn't be the greatest curiosity of a mother's (possibly) dying moments. And third of all? When John and Natalie first split, it made perfect sense to me because I understood it as John not being able to stay a with a woman who'd betrayed him so badly by lying to him (and planning to lie to him forever) about something so egregious. But now? John has spelled it out. It's not about that at all. He's thought about it and he understands why she lied. He still loves her. He forgives her. But he still can't be with her simply and only because she's the mother of a child that isn't his. That's it. That's his only reason for not being able to be with the woman he allegedly loves. So when this truth comes out, presto-change-o, the great loves can reunite! Do they not realize how bad this makes John look? And do they not realize how sad this will make Natalie look for inevitably taking back a man who is now admitting he's only rejecting her because she has a child that isn't his biologically? Okay, okay, I know I recently vowed to try to chill out about things that I'm anticipating but aren't actually happening (yet), so all right. I'll focus back on the here and now. Why the actual fuck does Gigi care what broke up Natalie and John right now??!

(Gigi looked really pretty for her wedding, though!)


I very much do not want to dignify the scenes of Tess and Ford overpowering, stripping, and tying up a legally-blind nun and then laughing about it (and making out afterwards declaring their "love" for one another) with internet space because someone might confuse that for implying that said scenes were in any way amusing farce, or sexy and romantic, or fun and campy, or anything resembling anything positive or worth watching, so instead I'll just assign those scenes one word: NO.

(And to think, almost a year ago I called Cole out for just sneering at a nun! Oh how far we've come.)

Destiny out!


Poor Gigi. I'm not a fan, but the writing for her scenes today was just mean. She's never been the brightest bulb on the tree, but she's been in tough situations before without turning totally brainless. TIIC's insistence that the secret about Liam's paternity is ZOMG! the Most Important Thing Ever is so stupid.

And what can you say about two people assaulting a blind nun? I mean really, WTH?

What I hate? There were really quality scenes with Nora/Clint and Bo/Viki. I even liked the Brody/Natalie scenes because I think they would make a cute couple. The Balsom-Morasco clan at the courthouse was enjoyable. Gigi looked great. Todd/John at the police station was good too. So many good elements to today's show and it was ruined by: Terd.

I was so upset, I was near tears, even with their scenes on mute. I find this whole story appalling and every time I think it can't get more disgusting, something else happens and just re-traumatizes me all over again. When watching Tess and Ford rejoice in their love and their glee after violating a nun was JUST TOO MUCH for me. I felt a vein bulge in my forehead. I HATE THIS STORY SO MUCH.

I wish the writers would write these two characters as completely unhinged, psychotic like Juliette Lewis and Woody Harrelson in Natural Born Killers but the writers choose to write Ford as "sane and reasonable fighting for the women he loves and his child.") WTF?! Just how many laws will these people break and never go to jail. This is the worst story ever on OLTL. I make this statement as a fan of this show for over twenty years, through Mitch Lawrence's botched returns, the Morasco Fiasco/Bag of Blood, Santi bullshit.

"The Silent Killer". This gas seems to be misnamed, since Gigi is definitely not going quiet into that gentle night. Insted
sShe's screeching her head off. And really, is the last thing she should be listening to, and worrying about, is some tape about Ryder's paternity??
It's a good thing Clint doesn't need a brain transplant, because Gigi is certainly not a suitable donor.

I can't say anything about the nun assault, or Fudd, or Tess - it's not funny, not endearing, it's utterly disgusting.

It seems that Vicki has no liviing daughters. Both are effectively brain dead.

Everything but stupid Tess and stupid Ford was so AWESOME today!

Bo and Nora: fantastic! Heartbreaking! I want to beat up Matthew's doctor!

Clint and Vicki: Oh so good!

Nat and Brody: So smokin' hot!

Todd and John: They, too, could be hot, why don't they make out??? Seriously, though, I liked their scenes, and I don't know the last time I've said that for either character.

I love this show!

TERD! That is without question the most awesome squish name I've ever heard! I laughed so long and hard when I read it that I'm sure the neighbors contemplated calling the authorities. Well done, soapbaby. The Internet is forever indebted to you.

I don't want Clint or Matthew to die, but I'm getting a little misty eyed at the thought of poor Gigi being sacrificed so that both of them can survive.

Sure it will provide a boatload of emotional scenes as Shane realizes that he inadvertently put his mother in jeopardy and Rex has to make the choice to give Gigi's heart to his father, but it just seems so damn cruel to deny Rex and Gig a happy ending come January.

Or am I just jumping to conclusions as to where this going...?

Oh, Sharon, I wish I could take credit for Terd but I picked it up off another poster over at soap central. So, don't tell the cops it was me!

Everything about Gigi was stupid her turning on the generator, why? Why did she use scraps of clothers when she had a jacket? and the biggest WTF like you said listen to why your friend is no longer with her man is important, I would have pressed the record button without even knowing what was on the tape why, because who gives a fuck. I want my son to know how much he means to me along with Rex and I want them to know who actually did this to me.

This is what I want to know, is Gigi even a viable donor she's not Clint's blood type and it is carbon monoxide poisoning that kills her.

I too am ridiculous sick of that stupid tape recorder. What a dumb way to extend this inspid storyline.

And it's gross that Brody, who is all about raising babies that aren't his, is going to lose both biological children to Ford and John. Blech.

The less said about how the show wants us to view the couple that ASSAULTED A NUN as heroic and romantic, the better.

At least there was a solid dose of Roxy on Monday.

Brody is the "Lucky" of OLTL.

If the Internet has taught me one thing, it's that Ford and Tess in nun outfits making out? Is SOMEONE'S fetish.

You know, I was convinced at the end of last week that Gigi was going to die and that's where Clint's heart would come from, but now I'm not so sure. I don't know, it just doesn't feel right, now. I guess we'll see.

Ford and Tess aside, the rest of the show was awesome, as it usually has been lately.

"Terd" & "It's a good thing Clint doesn't need a brain transplant.." AWESOME!!

Could not watch a single second of 'Terd' as soon as I saw the nun costumes...ugh ugh ugh.

Everything else was great - I even felt sorry for poor stupid Gigi. Brody is so adorable & he & Nat have crazy hot chemistry....but she will go back to McPain in a heartbeat. Such a waste!

Still holding out for Ford to be the heart doner - or any of the other Fords, including their mother. And after what he did to the nun, the other sisters should beat him senseless so he becomes the donor....

And I don't know if it was Monday or Tuesday but did anyone notice that NuJack addressed Shane as "Wheezy" when they met at the courthouse? How did not one adult go all crazy on his a$$ for that - wasn't that the teasing that caused Shane to almost kill himself. Oh, yeah, we've moved on in the storyline...

These writers are killing me. If it already hadn't been cancelled, I'd swear they were trying to get it shut down...

Oh, did anyone pick up on the fact that NuJack and Co. were going to lock up Shane in that abandoned basement to induce an asthma attack? NuJack stated that to Brad over the phone while at the police station. Oh, come on. I thought it was a prank but it was beyond a prank because the intention was to cause Shane bodily harm and/or possibly death. I know in IRL teens don't always get the severity of their actions but in this case, these kids know just how potentially fatal this all is. Ugh. The writers are sadists for putting the audience through this. I think I will skip today's episode.

I hate Jack. I hope he goes to prison for life. Where the hell is Blair? She needs to parent her psycho son. If anyone should die, it's Jack. Not Gigi.

Natalie + Brody = Adorable Hotness!

I don't think Gigi is going to die, but she was all kinds of stupid on Tuesday's show.

I will not even mention the grossness of F/T.

Vets! I love my vets!

Don't tapes have two sides? Why didn't she just flip the tape and THEN record her message?

If I accidentally realized there was already a recording on the tape of someone in a therapy session in which she might explain how she, as she put it, broke up two people I knew. If all of those elements lined up?

@Patty - EXACTLY!

@soapbaby - Love Terd! Thank you for sharing it! They are so awful, I fucking hate this storyline. The ONLY thing good about it was Tess's lines yesterday were sort of cute with the shyness - but she was basically being Jess, not Tess, so WHYYYY!!!?????

Louise, ITA that they are making John look bad with this "I understand why you did it, but I can't get over Liam's not being mine." They are making him look like an immature fuck with this CRAP. As someone whose stepfather has loved me since the day he met me, I find this story so obnoxious. ESPECIALLY with Brody right there willing to raise both Bree and Ryder, being the only real man on this damn show! This watering down of John's rage is the worst cop-out!

But Gigi did look really pretty in her pretty wedding dress. I hate that they are wrecking this cute little family.

And I really really hate that ABC is cutting into today's show for Anthony Weiner's damn resignation speech! Who cares? Why can't politicians make speeches during GH?

sShe's screeching her head off. And really, is the last thing she should be listening to, and worrying about, is some tape about Ryder's paternity??
It's a good thing Clint doesn't need a brain transplant, because Gigi is certainly not a suitable donor.

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