A Weird Day Indeed
Well, I sat down to watch today's One Life to Live, thinking it probably wouldn't do enough for me to actually do a write-up because today's bizarre "the shows got saved....kinda" news would overshadow everything, but I already flipped out about three times in the cold open. Jack, Shane, and Rex are face-to-face for the first time since Gigi's death, Viki and Dorian are face-to-face for the first time since Viki found out about Dorian stalling on getting Clint help during his heart attack, and most importantly, RHTodd actually said the words "that son of a bitch stole my life!" and I about jumped off my couch.
So I'm excited. So here we go, gang, it's an old-fashioned recap day, starting from immediately after the credits.
So, RHTodd is still talking to himself in his motel room trying to figure out how someone stole his life and nobody noticed. It's a fair question! But my favorite was: "And who the hell are Sam and Dani??" He needs someone to help him make sense of it, and notices Viki's name on The Banner website.
Viki and Dorian are awesomely bickering. Dorian mentions that Clint is guilty of every crime he confessed to, and Viki looks nervous since she knows the one exception (which, really, what he confessed to is enough for a healthy prison sentence regardless).
Destiny continues to play with a pregnancy test box.
Matthew's doctor explains that he was just joking about being out of options for Matthew, and just meant he couldn't stay at this hospital anymore. Bo and Nora get upset about sending him away until the doctor (a better one, mind you!) says there's a great facility in Philadelphia and the show remembers it takes place in a Philadelphia suburb, so that's totally not sending him away at all.
Ionia shows up to continue trying to seduce David.
Jack apologizes to Shane. Or sympathizes. Or something. It's hard to tell.
Commercials. Y'all. My dog smells so bad. I hate the idea of kicking her off the couch but it's really nasty. Where did the dog-walker take her today? A pig pen? I think he may have.
Ionia continues to throw herself at David and, I don't know, this was sort of a cute thing the other day but now I'm bored. Echo hides and takes photos of Ionia throwing her bikini top at David.
Viki and Dorian are still arguing. Robin Strasser and Erika Slezak are on fire, plain and simple. Soap opera acting master class, ladies and gents.
Nate and Dani argue about Matthew having killed Eddie. Nate should button his shirt. He's at work. In some Pennsylvania park. Where every car in the parking lot has New York plates.
Nora worries that Matthew will feel alone in a new facility. Bo points out that Matthew is as stubborn as Nora is, which makes her light up with hope.
Destiny looks at her pee stick and has no reaction and puts it away.
Capricorn. Blair yells at TSJTodd on the phone, and he hangs up on her. Tomas is there and tells Blair he's heard about Jack's arrest and release, but Blair doesn't want to talk about it and gets a little nasty about the lies Tomas has told her.
TSJTodd shows up at the Jack/Shane/Rex showdown.
Commercials. Side effects include dry mouth, nausea, and constipation.
Against TSJTodd's wishes, Jack apologizes again to Shane. TSJTodd follows this up by saying, "He's sorry about your loss" with the word "loss" in air quotes, and somebody is going to come to my house and murder me for this, but I think that was an absolutely inspired choice on Trevor St. John's part. I'm dead serious. A lot of us have wondered for years why he seems to go so far in portraying Todd's callousness and hatefulness, but seems to have lost his remorse, his self-hatred, and basically his soul. Well, as of the moment RHTodd returned, Trevor St. John has gone even farther in the direction of sociopathy in his choices, and now it makes perfect sense (at least in the various Two Todds explanations I have in my head; I of course don't know a damn thing about how this'll play out). I've been finding his cruelty just plain fascinating and, look, that actor is no idiot. He knows full well that one of his "reign's" most reviled moments (I mean to the point that it's iconic now) was when his Todd chose to air-quote his (second) rape of Marty. This was a clear call-back to it and an invitation to loathe the man he's playing. I have no doubt many of you will vehemently disagree with me on this one (and that's totally fine!), but I love this balls-to-the-wall kind of stuff. He's playing a monster now, all the way.
Oh yeah, back to the show! It sort of gets dull at this point.
Blair points out the holes in Tomas' backstory. They argue and kiss, but it's really not the time. Obviously they need to heat up their romance so the RHTodd stakes are higher, but it feels weird.
Back at the hospital, Dorian explains that Viki should thank her for getting the confession from Clint. Viki doesn't thank her, but backs down a bit, and the two women start discussing Echo and whether or not she remains a threat.
David and Ionia talk about workout routines and boobs and it's boring. Echo takes more pictures.
Seriously, Nate, button your shirt. I'm uncomfortable. Nate thinks that Dani might know he's the one who hit Matthew, but she doesn't.
Destiny asks Bo and Nora "Matthew's going away? To Philadelphia?" Destiny, SEPTA. Get to know it. Sheesh. She goes in to say goodbye to Matthew and tells him she's pregnant. (And I cross my fingers for a fictional miscarriage lickety-split.) You can't really tell if Matthew understands, and Destiny pulls out her pee stick (as one does). Nora walks in.
Nate's about to tell Dani something, but she gets a phone message from Destiny and leaves for the hospital without Nate saying anything. He looks frustrated. Maybe because he's ten years older than his teen girlfriend.
RHTodd remembers that he can trust his sister Viki above all others.
David realizes that Ionia is setting him up. He can't figure out who's responsible.
Viki and Dorian get pissy at each other and kind of break up as friends. I don't like it. Make up, ladies! Dorian throws away the plant she'd brought for Clint.
Tomas and Blair talk about... their relationship. These two have chemistry, but this has been such a slow burn and this is such bad timing that it's hard to feel invested.
Rex pretends to apologize to TSJTodd and Jack for overreacting and fakes that he accepts the whole thing was Brad's fault and he's totes at peace with this, which makes Shane feel worse and appalled.
Destiny, of course, covers for the pee stick thing. Dani shows up and asks her what the results were of the pregnancy test.
David bumbles around a bit as Ionia leaves and Dorian returns home. David lies about who was there. Oh come on, now. Put Dorian back in Viki's story. I don't want to see Robin Strasser go out on a stupid misunderstandings-and-shenanigans story with David.
Rex tells Shane he was faking making peace with Todd, because Rex is a super papa. Extortion, organ-selling, and revenge schemes. Clearly the top three pursuits to help an adolescent boy heal after the tragic death of his mother.
Echo and Ionia compare notes. I'm confused about what Ionia stands to gain from this; I think I missed a detail. Echo couldn't be paying her, right? Isn't she broke?
Dorian sees the photos of David and Ionia on David's Blackberry. Viki sees the same photos on her laptop a moment later, which is hilarious. Admit it!
RHTodd decides to talk to Viki and says he wants his life back, and he knows how he's going to get it.
Nate tells the air that he'll tell Dani all about Matthew someday. I'm sure we all care about this a great deal.
Nora and Bo say goodbye to Matthew before he gets transferred to the Philly facility, as Destiny lies to Dani that she's not pregnant.
Capricorn. TSJTodd scolds Jack for almost having confessed to Shane and Rex.
Rex further explains his dastardly plan to Shane, which ends with the sentence "so now Jack and Todd will never see us coming." Oh good! Now he's making his adolescent son complicit in his revenge scheme. Constructive parenting. Sort of the way Todd parents. Well done.
The end! Time to give the dog a bath.
So... what do you guys think of the crazy news that OLTL and AMC will live on (somehow... I'm still confused and need answers!) online? I'm guessing a couple of you might have an opinion or two...