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« Flesh to Touch, Flesh to Burn! Don't Keep the Vicker Man Waiting! | Main | Crazy For You »

July 30, 2011

Heart? Broken. Mind? Blown.

General Hospital really, when you think about it (and should you think about it, make sure to have a box of tissues handy, because it's immensely depressing that people get a regular paycheck for this), has about five plots that the writers rotate as they see fit. Maybe five is being too generous. Regardless, my favorite recurring element is, by far, Carly's overly emotional and borderline unhinged responses to news about the men who have been in her life at any point in time. I'd probably watch a spinoff about Carly receiving bad news.

Today, Carly learned that Jason is engaged to Sam. It was freaking amazing.

CARLY: ELIZABETH. Um, I've been standing here for a full ten second and yet, my problem isn't being solved.
ELIZABETH: I'm actually just getting ready to--
CARLY: I didn't ask for your life story. I need meds.
ELIZABETH: No kidding.
CARLY: Meds for Josslyn, Elizabeth. For Josslyn. Why haven't you given me her prescription yet? I've been standing here totally patiently for a full minute now.

ELIZABETH: You know, it's hospital procedure to keep--
CARLY: I'm sorry, I have to take this phone call. The perils of being an important person and all.
ELIZABETH: You're making the phone call, which is kind of rude...
CARLY: Less talky, more scripty!
CARLY: Hey, Jason, it's me, Carly. Which you totally knew, because best friends know each other's voice. Um, I've called you a ton of times, and you haven't called me back and I'm starting to worry, because I have a bunch of things that I really need to talk to you about and for you to do for me, so...please call me back as soon as you get this. Like, AS SOON as you get this. It's a life or death situation. Literally.
CARLY: Do you...still not have my prescription? Seriously?
ELIZABETH: It's just that we keep the children's prescriptions on the fourth floor.
CARLY: Are you fucking with me, Elizabeth? Why did you not tell me that before I stood here for AN HOUR waiting?
ELIZABETH: You know...you shouldn't worry too much about Jason. He's fine. I'm sure he just wants to enjoy his life right now.
CARLY: Um, look. You probably don't know this, because you're not in the inner circle like I am, but...the members of the inner circle? Meaning me, Jason, and Sonny? We're going through a tough time right now and--
ELIZABETH: Jason doesn't want to talk to you right now because he's boning his fiancee.
CARLY: Carlysaywhat 
CARLY: I'm sorry, a nerve or something in my brain just made a sizzling noise, I didn't quite catch that. Pardon?
ELIZABETH: Oh my gosh, you didn't know? Yeah. Jason and Sam are engaged.
CARLY: Carlystricken
CARLY: Carlysideye 
CARLY: Carlymisery 
ELIZABETH: Was it something I said?
:  No, it was something YOUR FACE. You said the fourth floor?
CARLY: I'm going up there right now. RIGHT NOW. And if that prescription isn't ready, I will have your badge, Webber.
ELIZABETH: Nurses don't---

There is a very real chance that Monday's episode will open with Carly taking the entire fourth floor hostage.


thank you thank you for making me laugh so much! indeed, I too would watch a spinoff of Carly's reactions. Laura Wright's face is so brilliant

Funny, the word brilliant never comes to mind when I watch Laura Wright.

Over the top

All of the above come to mind. Never brilliant, though.

It's funny- I enjoy so much the way Elizabeth deals with Carly, but Robyn makes me want to strangle her. That scene at Kelly's was disgusting.

Your recap is HILARIOUS. I nearly spat my coffee out from laughing. Loved, loved that scene and I liked the Robin/Carly scenes at Kelly's because KMcC and LW are wonderful scene partners. Gosh, Kimberly McCullough looked fantastic.

My beef with the scenes at Kelly's was that Robin focused her anger at Carly instead of her horrible husband feeding some chick from his fork. WTF was that? Robin knows Carly is untrustworthy but she also knows Patrick has cheated on her. For a loyal husband, there is nothing another woman could do that would make him do something like that. Could the writers have practiced a more deft hand and just have had Robin walk in on Patrick and Carly laughing or even hugging, but sharing a fork_ NO WAY IN HELL. If I were Robin, somebody would've had to call Uncle Mac, Ronnie, Lucky and a few uniforms to come pull me off of Patrick!

I completely understand no comments on 'The Irish Setter', but with that nosebleed at the end of the episode, it appears that Siobhan will have a brain tumor or something that will explain her selective stalking and harassment of a grieving mother. Ugh. Can she just die already? She completely wears me out and the Lucky/Sio scenes made no sense to me whatsoever. It was like a class in how to over-act. Their scenes are just so forced.

This is why Jake should have lived and Jax awarded sole custody of Josselyn. Carly is a vile and nasty human being.

UGH! Is Carly still being a bitch to Liz? ONE WOULD THINK that since the death of LIZ'S SON meant the continued life of HER DAUGHTER she would be a little nicer to her. OH WAIT! That's right, Jos getting Jake's kidney was all Jason's doing. HIS MOTHER had absolutely nothing to do with it.**gag** As much as I love LW sometimes hearing her try to justify Carly's unjustifiable actions make me want to throw up.

Sam better watch out...based on her rage at the news, Carly might try to set her on fire.

NuNuEmma's cute! I guess the last one was too chatty.

It's insane to me that to this day, Carly sees both Sonny and Jason as hers. Sure, there are a few women she's been okay with in their life, but she can't stand any woman who might seriously come before her. Sam threatens her. Brenda threatens her. The quiet, tame ones, she's okay with but ones that might get in her way of having Sonny and Jason at her beck and call? And seriously, why does this woman NEVER solve a problem without calling in Jason or Sonny to help her? Why must every hiccup in her day and obstacle in her life be shared with them so they will do something about it?

Crap. I think that I might have to leave my self imposed exile from viewing TFGH. If TFGH somehow manages to change the years of blood pressure raising crappiness the network considered good and return to its former awesome self.

Explain something to me. She was okay with Sam having Jason's baby (she was PUSHING her to do it) but she has a problem with getting married. What the hell planet is this woman from????

Dawn asked:

Explain something to me. She was okay with Sam having Jason's baby (she was PUSHING her to do it) but she has a problem with getting married. What the hell planet is this woman from?

Planet Guza. Where that kind of behavior makes you a


In the real world, it makes you an impossible, overbearing, entitled, bullying shrew. The kind of person (and I use that term loosely) people can't get away from fast enough.On GH, Cujo has the world at her feet.

I often wonder what Sarah Brown must think of the once complex character she created.

All gone now is my best guess.

I love love LOVE Laura Wright's faces when Carly's brain is exploding. This post is literally the only thing that's made me laugh in 3 days. I love you guys!

And right on cue, Cujo the Megabeast is foaming at the mouth. I must say, I take pleasure in watching that heifer's head explode. It's an added bonus that Elizabeth was the one to do it. Ha!

Mallory, your interpretation recaps are the BEST EVER! So funny, thank you!

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