Heart? Broken. Mind? Blown.
General Hospital really, when you think about it (and should you think about it, make sure to have a box of tissues handy, because it's immensely depressing that people get a regular paycheck for this), has about five plots that the writers rotate as they see fit. Maybe five is being too generous. Regardless, my favorite recurring element is, by far, Carly's overly emotional and borderline unhinged responses to news about the men who have been in her life at any point in time. I'd probably watch a spinoff about Carly receiving bad news.
Today, Carly learned that Jason is engaged to Sam. It was freaking amazing.
CARLY: ELIZABETH. Um, I've been standing here for a full ten second and yet, my problem isn't being solved.
ELIZABETH: I'm actually just getting ready to--
CARLY: I didn't ask for your life story. I need meds.
ELIZABETH: No kidding.
CARLY: Meds for Josslyn, Elizabeth. For Josslyn. Why haven't you given me her prescription yet? I've been standing here totally patiently for a full minute now.
ELIZABETH: You know, it's hospital procedure to keep--
CARLY: I'm sorry, I have to take this phone call. The perils of being an important person and all.
ELIZABETH: You're making the phone call, which is kind of rude...
CARLY: Less talky, more scripty!
CARLY: Hey, Jason, it's me, Carly. Which you totally knew, because best friends know each other's voice. Um, I've called you a ton of times, and you haven't called me back and I'm starting to worry, because I have a bunch of things that I really need to talk to you about and for you to do for me, so...please call me back as soon as you get this. Like, AS SOON as you get this. It's a life or death situation. Literally.
CARLY: Do you...still not have my prescription? Seriously?
ELIZABETH: It's just that we keep the children's prescriptions on the fourth floor.
CARLY: Are you fucking with me, Elizabeth? Why did you not tell me that before I stood here for AN HOUR waiting?
ELIZABETH: You know...you shouldn't worry too much about Jason. He's fine. I'm sure he just wants to enjoy his life right now.
CARLY: Um, look. You probably don't know this, because you're not in the inner circle like I am, but...the members of the inner circle? Meaning me, Jason, and Sonny? We're going through a tough time right now and--
ELIZABETH: Jason doesn't want to talk to you right now because he's boning his fiancee.
CARLY: I'm sorry, a nerve or something in my brain just made a sizzling noise, I didn't quite catch that. Pardon?
ELIZABETH: Oh my gosh, you didn't know? Yeah. Jason and Sam are engaged.
ELIZABETH: Was it something I said?
CARLY: No, it was something YOUR FACE. You said the fourth floor?
CARLY: I'm going up there right now. RIGHT NOW. And if that prescription isn't ready, I will have your badge, Webber.
ELIZABETH: Nurses don't---
CARLY: YOUR BADGE!
There is a very real chance that Monday's episode will open with Carly taking the entire fourth floor hostage.