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« Kidnappings Are Adorable (Apparently)! | Main | Getting Highlights and Lowlights at the Llanview Salon »

July 19, 2011

Oh, Dr. Feelgood

Griffin: You don't know me. I'm calling from Pine Valley Hospital. It's regarding Dr. David Hayward.
Maria (!!!) (!!!!): What has that son of a bitch done now?

First of all: MARIA! I was completely taken aback by how excited I was to see her today. It's not that I don't enjoy her, because I do. Or, at least, I do when I block out the fact that her last long-term return actually existed. But I didn't think I would practically squeal, especially since I knew it was coming. I think I might have some sort of bizarre, Pavlovian reaction to the return of any soap veteran character. When Adam and Brooke come back (WHICH, OH EM GEE, THEY ARE!), I might literally start to flail. Although...they deserve that sort of response. If I do the same for Justin Bruening and--sigh--Alexa Havins, we'll know for sure that I'm just deranged.

Secondly: you want to know what he's done, Maria? He's been hilarious.

Kendall (leaving "Erica" a voicemail): You and David. When I say it out loud, it sounds so ridiculous. I can't even believe it's true. Can you call me and tell me this is one bad dream?
David: You are awake. I can pinch you if you like.
Kendall: Get the hell away from me.
David: Now, is that any way to speak to your future stepfather?
Kendall: How do you do it, David? How do you make every woman think she can't live wihout you?
David: Well, some say it's my smile. But Ithink it's my winning personality.

David, you smarmy bastard. And I mean that as a compliment!

In the (strangely and, yes, sadly) version of AMC that plays in my head sometimes while the actual AMC bores me to the point of near brain atrophy (so maybe I should say it plays in my head always instead of sometimes), Kendall and David would have a huge story together. Not a romantic one--just something that would require them to spend a lot of time together, hating each other and throwing barbs back and forth. Because Alicia Minshew and Vincent Irizarry are crazy good together. They're crazy good with most of their scene partners, to be fair, but when they're together, they are just an antagonistic delight.


Mallory, Maria's back already? Do you know how many days? It might be time for me to pick it back up again. I'm meaning to watch the final month or so, but if we're already getting returns like this it might be time...

I've only seen her return referred to with "a handful of episodes", so...I have no real idea! She's the earliest of the returns, though. Josh Duhamel and Thorsten Kaye are back this August, and then the bold-faced names and Justin Bruening are back in September, so you may not need to force yourself to sit through the show just yet!

Alicia and Vincent are great with EVERYONE but put them together? Awesomeness.

Oh ugh. Babe. Sigh indeed.

My hope is that Alexa Havins comes back in a short, but leading role, as the boil on Ryan's butt. That's all she's good for. If David does have her stored somewhere, I hope it's in parts in Tupperware containers.

God help me, but Alexa Havins isn't as bad of an actress as I seem to recall. Maybe it really was just the character of Babe that was a putrid pus oozing gaping wound on the soap opera world. Two episodes in the new season of Torchwood and I haven't once demanded her character to have an immediate and painful death. Not once. Perhaps the awesomeness of Captain Jack and Gwen are overpowering any horribleness of her character. But really, they haven't shared that many scenes together. Yet.

Still, the only way I want to seem Boob back is if they show her burning in hell for her crimes against humanity, decency, good taste and fashion. Let KWAK see Babe there during a brush with death(or even better as her dying moments). Yes, I do still hate and loathe Krystal and her beloved Boob.

August 5th is taking forever to get here!! And that is the day I will start watching again. Zach!!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

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