Sucks So Good: True Blood 4.2, "You Smell Like Dinner"
PREVIOUSLY on True Blood: the fourth season got off to a pretty great start. Based on the premiere and this latest episode, I think we're in for twelve weeks of serious awesome.
After the jump, thoughts on "You Smell Like Dinner"!
(And to all Serial Drama readers: I hope you are all having a bloody good July 4th weekend (see what I did there? Bloody? Because vampires? Sometimes, I make myself cringe...)!)
Jason Stackhouse In The Hills Have Eyes
The episode began with something so disturbing and wrong that on most other shows, it would constitute the nadir of a plotline.
Jason: The hell's going on? Is someone licking my head?
Timbo: It's just me, Mr. Jason.
That's comforting, Timbo, thanks!
But for poor Jason Stackhouse, head-licking was basically the best thing that happened to him for the whole hour. See, Felton (groan) was the one who knocked him into the freezer and now has him tied to a bed and Crystal (DOUBLE GROAN) is back, hopped up on V and talking about some crazy way she's figured out for them to be together. Jason seems happy to see her which (a) it's been over a year since she ditched you and left you in charge of her brother-cousins and (b) she gagged you and held a knife to your throat, dude! Plus, she's never exhibited even one positive attribute, so I seriously don't understand why he's so hung up on her!
By the end of the episode, the point to Jason's captivity (and the Hotshot story as a whole, maybe?) becomes disgustingly clear.
Felton: We gon' make a baby.
Jason: You and me?
Crystal: No, silly, you and me.
Jason: Two questions: why is he all right with this? And if he's not part of the baby-making, what is he getting naked for?
If Felton had just been your run of the mill, naked voyeur, things wouldn't have been so bad (grading on a Hotshot curve here, people), but it turns out that he was naked so that he could turn into a panther. Which Crystal does also. Because they need to keep the species of werepanthers going and since Felton is impotent, Crystal is going to have a werepanther baby with Jason, who needs to be turned into a werepanther for it to work, and head-licking doesn't sound so bad now, does it?! I'm pretty horrified right now.
Sookie And The Bad Breakup
Less than enthused that Eric has purchased her home and plans to make her his, Sookie sashays over to Bill's as soon as Eric leaves with a promise to get a creaky door fixed (which he does almost immediately. Best landlord ever!). When she's stopped by a group of security guards, she's perplexed. But not SO perplexed that she doesn't smugly reiterate Bill's command to stand down when she's given the go-ahead to enter his house. Ugh, shut it, Sook.
I know that she thinks she and Bill broke up about five hours ago, but still, wasn't it weird that she immediately traipsed up to Bill's bedroom? Boundaries, girl! Although if Bill had any sense of chivalry, he'd have met her downstairs, which makes me think he wanted her to walk in on him and Katarina*, Jesus's witchy friend, as they got dressed following their romp. Douche.
*Alex Breckenridge looks so much like Evan Rachel Wood that I was distracted for almost all of her scenes.
Realizing that Bill is useless, Sookie leaves.
Sookie: How did you become King, anyway? Never mind. If there's one thing I learned from us being together, anytime I learned something new about you, I wound up wishing I didn't know it.
This segues neatly into a flashback to...
The Secret Life of Beel
In 1982 London, a punk Bill walks through a bar shiftily, looking like a particularly square undercover narcotics officer.
Outside, he feeds on--but doesn't kill--a bartender and then meets Nan Flanagan!
She's been watching him and hopes that he'll help her and vampires like her, with their grand plan of mainstreaming. She wants good vampires to infiltrate the monarchies and "plant the seeds of discord from within". Interesting!
We also got a flashback to the demise of Queen Sophie Anne, last seen in the final minutes of the third season finale. The Matrix-style fight to the death she and Bill were to engage in lasted approximately 30 seconds (although Bill did have enough time to either dye his hair or put in a ridiculous wig) before snipers rush in, armed with wooden and silver bullets. Sophie Anne barely has time to hammily shout that Bill is a traitor before she explodes into a pile of blood and gore.
Nan Flanagan enters, gleeful (well, as gleeful as Nan can ever be, which isn't very) and applauds Bill for dispatching the Queen and her irksome inability to speak with her fangs in. She realizes that this was personal and, like so many before her, asks Bill what the hell is so special about Sookie. Interestingly, Bill lies and tells her that there's nothing great about Sookie at all. Nan's suspicious.
Nan: You better not be lying to me. She did, and look what happened to her.
Then she officially declares him King William Compton of Louisiana.
Nan: Go clean yourself up. You're covered in Queen.
Um, I want lots more Nan Flanagan. Doesn't it bother you that we continue to spend so much time in Hotshot when we could be following Nan around instead? I don't even mean that we could follow her in a way that would move stories forward; even watching her do her hair and make bitchy comments to passersby would be preferable to and more meaningful than Hotshot.
I'm seriously intrigued by all the vampire politics and really want to see where this story goes.
It's Hard Out There For a 'Shifter
This was a good episode for fans of Sam Trammell, who spent most of it having naked conversations with people. I mean, one of them was his brother, which seriously disturbed the sexy, but still. Naked.
He and Luna, one of the pretty members of his shapeshifter/anger management group, are now a thing? So that's...that, I guess. When they had their session with Emory and Laurie Forman #2, she admits that the strangest thing she ever shifted into was her mother, and tells the Navajo story about skinwalkers: shifters who have to kill another shifter in their family in order to turn into another human. She's interrupted by the arrival of an eavesdropper, who they all smell (I really hate it when they snif!) and Sam takes off.
It was totally Tommy, who totally heard everything and, I'm assuming, is totally going to kill their mother and become a skinwalker because that is exactly the kind of creepy, grifty thing he's good at.
The Hoyt 'N Jess Honeymoon is officially over
When the episode began, Hoyt defended Jessica's honor to a group of protesters outside of Fangtasia who spend their days chanting the uncreative but catchy "Steve Newlin's right! You're devils of the night!" (I love a good Steve Newlin shoutout). His first mistake? Trying to reason with ignorant people full of hate. His second mistake? Trying to take on an entire group of ignorant people full of hate! He got his adorable ass kicked, and then he and Jess bickered some more and she went back to Fangtasia to drink the hot guy she was eyeing in last week's episode, defiantly telling Sookie (who, what a buttinski!) "I can eat whoever I want" before snarling at the hot guy to "stand the fuck still". Ha! But also, poor Hoyt.
The Part With The Evil Baby
As far as B- or C-plots go, Arlene's hysteria over her possibly evil baby is a pretty entertaining one. For starters, Carrie Preston is really good at the over-the-top horror and portraying hysteria bubbling so close to the surface that she can barely keep it together.
Sookie: He's beautiful.
Arlene, in complete disbelief: You think?
And also, Terry is the cutest thing to ever do things in a cute manner.
Terry: I was thinking after work we could rent a video and kill off that bottle of Frangelico we've been nursing. Not that they call them videos...
Arlene: (Has a staredown with her infant son in which she stares him down so hard that she bursts a blood vessel)(...)Look at him looking at me laughing! He ain't right, that boy!You're rotten to the core, just like your daddy!
Terry: I am your daddy and I ain't rotten and neither are you, you hear me? Your momma just gets a little crazy sometimes, which means that we just have to love her that much harder.
Eric and Witches and Amnesia (Oh, My!)
I just have to say that while it's not as perfect as his aqua sweater last season, I do so love this gray t-shirt of Eric's.
So: Bill summoned Eric and asked him to sell Sookie's house back to Sookie (he declined) or to Bill (he did a pretty good job of not actually laughing in Bill's face at the very idea), and then mentioned that there's a new coven in town. Eric goes quickly from sarcastic ("Oh, no, witches!") to visibly rattled when he hears that these witches are necromancers. As Bill recaps for the thick-headed among us, if witches can control the dead, they can control vampires. Since vampires as a whole bring new meaning to the term control freak, this is bad news indeed.
And wouldn't you just know that back at the coven, they are discussing exactly that! Marnie has some grand ideas for what she wants to bring back from the dead next.
Marnie: A person.
Jesus: Excuse me. What the fuck?
At this, Tara (who was surprisingly hilarious this episode! And also, in desperate need of a new BFF. Didn't you just love how she surprised Sookie, who she hasn't seen in a year, and Sookie immediately ditched her to go talk to Eric? I know that Tara was the one who suggested she go, but seriously! The girl thought you were dead, Sookie! You could have at least had a few bites of ice cream and pretended to care about what she's been up to for the past twelve months!) bolted with a "Yeah, I'll be waiting up front".
And in walks a hot vampire.
Eric: Y'all looking for a dead body?
He's business-like as he tells Marnie that the coven can no longer meet. And while she seems meek, she doesn't capitulate immediately and commands the rest of the coven to join hands. So, naturally, he bites her.
Tara, walking in at that precise moment: Goddamn, I hate this place.
She grabs a cross to stake him with, and then he's about to bite HER, but before he can do anything, Marnie is...possessed? Or something? Or channelling? Something or someone, and the lights go out and Eric (!) gets visibly shaken, which is basically the writing staff's shorthand for "Shit just got real".
She starts chanting a Latin spell, channelling someone that Eric either recognizes or is freaked out by all the same. This goes on for a bit, and then! Eric's eyes are wide as saucers and his fangs retract. Then he bolts.
Marnie--who I find horrifyingly scary--snaps out of it. "Well, what happened? Is he gone?"
Is he ever, Marnie! He's gone and walking down the street shirtless!
Eric: Who are you?
Sookie: It's me, Sookie.
Sookie: You know me.
Eric: No, no I don't. Why do you smell so good?
As I've mentioned before, I haven't read any of the books, but I HAVE heard about this particular storyline and was hoping that it would make its way to the show. I'm so excited that it has! ASkars with puppy dog eyes! It's like everything I ever wanted.
What did you think of this episode? Are you as excited for the rest of the season as I am?