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« The Most Shocking Shock Of All! | Main | One Good Thing About Wednesday »

July 13, 2011

The Hatred, It Burns

Normally, when General Hospital gives us an episode filled with storylines I have absolutely no emotional investment or any real interest in, I think to myself, "Oh, it's a day that ends in -y", because such episodes are an almost constant part of our lives. Never once did I think, "PRAISE BOB GUZA FOR THIS BLESSED GIFT" although it seems as though I SHOULD have because the alternative to an episode absolutely free of entertainment value is an episode filled with such appalling things that it seriously makes one contemplate taking hostages.

Today's episode, for example, was stacked with plotlines that don't bore me or make me merely roll an eye; no, today was all about plotlines that actually make me sputter with hatred.

Lulu and Dante's Bordello Adventures: The Worst.

First of all, doesn't Dante have a job?

Second of all, what is the purpose of this storyline? Is it "Well, we've got to tread some water for a while, plot-wise, until Anthony Geary is back and we do love us some sleaze..." or "What's better than a scantily clad women? A scantily clad women doing something sleazy while the threat of sexual violence looms" or some unholy combination of the two?

Michael's Sense of Entitlement Going Through The Roof: Worst...er.

Really, Michael? Making out with your girlfriend at work?

And then getting sassy with Tracy when she was understandably appalled and sickened?

Michael: Look, if I want to kiss my girlfriend in my office, that's my business, not yours. You need to respect my privacy.
Tracy: Really?
Michael: Really. Get out of my office.

This shows just how startlingly immature he really is, both for lashing out and refusing to admit that he was wrong and for thinking he was in the same league, attitude-wise, as Tracy Quartermaine. Although it's not totally his fault, when you consider who his parents are; their legacy seems to be poor impulse control and a distorted sense of self-worth.

Tracy, of course, was an acid-tongued delight.

Tracy: Give it a rest. She's a big girl. What is she, 35? And considering where she worked before, she's probably heard worse.


Spinelli: There are no words.

Spinelli: Now, don't be a bunny. Jackal P.I. walks a line. I don't take sides. But I'd be willing to make an exception in your case. Now, you might have the bulge right now, but I still got plenty of swift. Don't make me tighten the screws.

I...hate him.

I...am so repulsed by this story that I long for the days of Winifred (remember Winifred? And how awful she was? If you do remember, it's because the badness of that story is burned into your corneas; if you don't, it's because you repressed it and I apologize for dredging that up). The thought of Spinelli and Winifred in a frontburner love story filled with complicated nicknames and a tortured syntax is upsetting, yes, but also about a hundred times better than what we are watching right now.

I...wish I were dead.


Although, it has to be said: today was not completely without merit. It was just mostly without merit. The only saving grace were the beautifully acted moments in which Tracy confessed to Monica that Jake was Jason's biological son.

Amazing, right? Although it probably would have had more of an impact if it wasn't a secret that everyone in Port Charles knows...


This show is crap on a shit cracker. But damn it, 5 minutes of Monica and Tracy would almost make it bearable to watch. Thank the soap gods for the kind people would Utube the good stuff for us to enjoy.


Stupid show. Not realizing the sheer awesomeness of the Qs.

When does the new regime stuff begin? Maybe I'll leave the boat to see if this show can be salvaged.

I don't even watch this show anymore - I can't, I just can't. But those scenes were .... wonderful. But they also drive home how fractured the show has become and how utterly skewed the center of the show has become.

We lost Monica - for what? We see Tracy rarely. But they can't give us enough of crack whores like Carly and the rest.

Stlbf is right - Thank God for this site for telling it like it is, and thanks to the wonderful few who cull the few moments that are good and put them on YouTube for us to watch.

Man. Even botoxed to oblivion that woman can still serve it.

I loved Tracy today. Can't say it enough. And as much as I love me some Eddie Q, I wish he had waited just a few more minutes before he walked into that room for Tracy could lay into Michael. I was so gearing up for that because that dumbass obviously doesn't realize that Tracy is his boss, or he possibly don't care. And I have to ask this question. But what exactly has Abby done where she deserves Tracy's respect and Tracy has to respect her? Fact of the matter is that she is not qualified for her job. She has that job because she's schtuping Michael and if she wasn't she wouldn't be there, and she's an ex-stripper/hooker. Where amongst that does it say...hey, I'm a person that should be respected. And one of my favorite parts ever is when Tracy cut Michael off of issuing his 'if you don't respect Abby' threat by being sarcastic about how he's going to run to her daddy and tell on her.

Loved Monica and Tracy and Monica learning about Jake being Jason's. Still holding out hope that Jake is alive and I get some Cagney & Lacey investigative action of Elizabeth and Monica going to get him. I can dream people.

Now for the rest of the show. Krissy/Ethan...ugh

Jackal PI..I find him kind of amusing when he's with AZ, Jason, and Sonny. Not so much with anyone else. The true thing I'm happy about when it does come to the Jackal is Spin has..balls...and he's not kissing others behind like with the JaSam crap or Maxie.

JaSam....ugh. Grown ass man having to have others convince him or giving the idea to the point of browbeating him to death about doing ANYTHING nice for his girlfriend...yea, no.
And the Bordello stuff...Dante is a crappy cop. Not that I frequent them or know a lot about them, but I assume that once you start having johns, you just can't go back to being a waitress once owner finds out you're willing to sleep with people.

Interesting twist is Asher working for AZ...I kind of want to see what they are going to do with that.

"Normally, when General Hospital gives us an episode filled with storylines I have absolutely no emotional investment or any real interest in, I think to myself, "Oh, it's a day that ends in -y", because such episodes are an almost constant part of our lives."

I laughed until I cried. Absolutely killer! Man, it seems that every one's beat me to it with their wonderful observations of today's show. I will add that Tracy and Monica were tops but why the hell was Monica in that ill-fitting dress? Serious fail.

Tracy. Such an amazing actress, working with silence like that, and then just being so gentle with Monica, who's already lost so much. That was such an amazing scene. Thank you for sharing. "I'm so sorry" and "That's not what I meant." So perfectly spoken. So... great.

Oh yeah, I HATE Michael and Abby so much it make me want to cry sometimes.

I can think of a thousand SL's they could have done while Tony Geary was away then this wretched pos SL with Lulu.

I would have rather everyone in PC come down with a crazy avian mixed monkey cat flu, then this bordello crap.

Really I'm waiting for Dolly Parton to come walking down the stairs and sing "I will always love you" from Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. And out of no where, just for extra cringe factor, Brook Lynn starts singing too from an upstairs bedroom that has bad curtains and a bed spread that doesn't match.

I really can't take anymore. lol

Thank you for posting the Tracey/Monica scene my power was out due to a bad storm and I was unable to see it!

GW is responsible for the Monica & Tracy scenes, not Guza, hence the amazingness. (Leslie's twittered that returned to the show during GW's first week as headwriter.)

The rest of the stuff is Guza, hence the hatred.

GW's material officially begins July 26th, but the Monica and Tracy stuff is the 2nd known instance of GW adding his stuff to Guza's scripts. (Jason Thompson revealed at a fan event that GW tweaked the Robin & Patrick dock scenes.) The sharp contrast between the Guza vs GW writing is amazing.

If only someone could come along and burn down that bordello like Lucky Spencer burned down Luke and Laura's old home. Was that Guza's one-finger salute to us viewers as he moves toward the door? And who wrote that scene between Tracy and Monica yesterday? Surely it couldn't have been him. Perhaps another staff writer wrote it when Guza went out to lunch-or wherever he goes to chow down.

Ah, I should've read the above post by df before I posted. I knew Guza couldn't have written that scene even if he wanted to, and the pity is he would never want to.

When Anthony tells another human being they've lost touch with reality, said human should immediately check his or her self into an institution.

I just...this show...if it weren't for Monica and Tracy, I don't know what I would have done.

Michael is horrible. I was ragey watching his entitlement and smugness at its highest. And of course Asher works for Anthony. OF COURSE! It's not like he didn't have any reason to resent Michael all on his own w/out that added tidbit, what with him going to college and actually having been at ELQ longer and knowing his job. Why not make him evil? What a brilliant idea!

Just when I thought I could catch my breathe, here comes the marriage talk and Jason and Sam....AGAIN! Look, just get effing married already! I know longer give a shit. Do it so the both of you can just shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!

The Bordello: ...

I will say it again: until I saw Monica and Tracy, I wanted to do terrible things.

Okay this just scares me!

I stopped watching this crap fest over a year ago, but I love to read about it here. Now I see that scene with Tracy and Monica and I almost want to watch again! Don't scare me like that!

I'm glad that Leslie C has found a better surgeon. She's looking almost natural for once. Oh for the days of Monica and Rick Webber sexin it up and Alan trying to burn them down! Oh for the days..

More scenes like Monica & Tracy's will bring me back. I would go so far as to embrace/encourage a Dallas shower erase the last few years re-write so that new writers can continue without the dreck that Guza has forced upon us. Have Helena be the cause of the alternate world! Just take me back to a show with real fleshed out characters and I'll gladly pretend the last few years never happened.

Lulu-at-the-bordello. Mabby. Jackal PI. I will not watch any of this. Some days it does not take long at all to watch the show.

Yea for Monica!

I was zooming along, FFing as usual and then screamed, "MONICA! TRACY!" And then I did something unusual ... I watched GH (well, just the Monica & Tracy stuff, but that's 5 minutes more than I usually watch).

That is the kind of stuff we need more of on this show.

Tracy/Monica - ditto to all. AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING stuff. THREE Q''s IN ONE DAY, four if you count Michael? (but I don't count Michael. Ack) I thought that three Q's on screen at once was just the stuff of legend now, like unicorns and photos/movies of Renee' Zellweger where she isn't squinty.

I want to punch Kristina in the face - multiple times. At what point does Ethan tell her she's a deranged stalker and run from her. The girl has serious SERIOUS mental health issues. Here's hoping when "The Wolf" gets in there, that shit will get cleared up. I know the man has a LOT to clear up, so I have to be patient, but THAT has got to go.

I'm hoping against hope that when "The Wolf" gets in there that Jackal PI will go away but instead of going back to blathering, spastastic Spinelli, we'll get a normal human. Bradford Anderson can SO bring it, so I hope "The Wolf" lets him. So I put up with the The Maltese Fucktard until then.

Jason and Sam - again, seriously want to just blow up that penthouse. Annoying, repetitive, grindingly BORING dialogue, and I can't imagine caring less about much else. Can they please, for the love of all that's holy, get them a new theme song?? If I have to hear that same one they've been playing for about 100 years, I'm going to go Hulk-smash on my TV. Fast forward.....fast forward......

Why is Abby all up in the Q's backsides with her lips all of the sudden? It's revolting! Was she this much of a brown noser when she was a stripper? Ew, forget I asked that.

Come on "Wolf." Bring it, baby. You showed us how it's going to be with Tracy and Monica yesterday, and I'm stoked to see more. Bite Guza in his big boring ass and let's get this show on the road!

"Spinelli = The Maltese Fucktard"

This is OUTSTANDINGLY funny on possibly the funniest site in all of the web.

So thankful.

~ soapbaby

"The Maltese Fucktard!" I burst into laughter!

And also: MONICA! and mention of NED! and DILLON!

Totally awesome.

Monica and Tracy--oh my--thank you for posting! IF Garin Wolf writes like this --I will be back....

A Ned and Dillon mention YEA!!!

My goodness this show might get a head writer who knows it's history...

I can't wait to see Jason and Monica together-- anything would be better than Jason/Sam marriage stuff

Rene, you had me rolling with laughter here. Thanks for that comment!

I'd like to see Jason with anyone else on earth. Sam is the empty shell of a woman and she needs to be cracked and thrown in the compost. Then Jason would be free for anyone who can act. Someone who seems alive between lines. Even Abby would be an improvement. She manages to maintain a sense of self throughout a scene. Is it possible for a woman's role to be written that calls for Carlyesque spunk without any mob connections? Someone who has a cause that she maintains throughout storylines? Maybe GW will see the need for a few real women on the show. And why is Robin putting up with Patrick's shit? Again. Is he four or pushing forty??? Why do I still watch is the rel question....

I swore just this weekend when I was visiting my sister that if the Q's were back, I would really watch again. So far, meh. In reference to this write up, the only thing I could think of was the Golden Girls episode when Rose invites her boss over (and he's a little person), Blanche makes jokes and then says "God, I wish I was dead". That's what I thought of. Totally unrelated, but memorable.

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