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« This Show Is Bananas | Main | Well, Nothing Lasts Forever »

August 17, 2011

There's Something Stuck In My Throat

Y'all probably knew I couldn't resist, but before I get to dealing with this weird lump-thing in my throat: the effing tape is back. Close-ups, serious musical underscoring, the whole deal. My apologies to anyone who does find the Natalie's-babydaddy story to be riveting entertainment still, but I call mercy. Can someone please just overhear Brody monologuing to Liam about how he's not his bio-father? I do not care. I'm fine if this story gets resolved in one single solitary solo episode. I've been sick of that damn tape for a long time now. I want someone to crush it. Crush it. Let the ghost of Dr. Buhari come hover over John and Natalie and Brody and tell the truth and everyone can look at each other all "Oopsie" and John and Natalie can have their boring Cool Kids reunion and Brody can go freak out somewhere giving intense looks all over the place, but can it just happen now? And quickly?

Also, Dorian and Kelly don't actually get exit stories? Seriously? For serious? Really? They just get exit reasons? I find this so difficult and preposterous to believe that I'm assuming they've got something in their back pocket and we'll see them after these exits again. Are they going to be in Blair's story about Todd at all?! Yes, they are. Of course they are. This couldn't be as ridiculous as it seems. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. It's fine by me if David goes off to do a Swedish art film (I've always thought he'd be great opposite Liv Ullman, haven't you?), but for Dorian and Kelly to just jaunt off like this? With nothing? Nothing? I don't accept it. I simply don't.

Tea and Blair were pretty funny today all testy with each other, though I'm glad Tea finally admitted that Blair wasn't actually evil (and come on, has been a damn good friend to her), and Florencia Lozano was adorable kicking things over in the house in that cute little sundress and I cannot wait to see what she does with whatever is handed to her tomorrow. 

But... the Todds. Trevor St. John was phenomenal today. I might sound hyperbolic, but he did fabulous work when Irene told him he's Victor. The not-Todd Todd.


If I thought the Emmys next year were going to do anything more than a cursory nod at OLTL since it'll be over by then, I'd say St. John and Roger Howarth and Erika Slezak and Jerry verDorn and Kassie dePaiva and Florencia Lozano and half the damn cast would get nominated for their work. They won't, and I say that because I live on Earth and breathe air and those are the prerequisites for knowing that won't happen. But really. TSJTodd, who I mostly loathe (not the actor but the character in the last few years, and I won't even link because it's like 80% of what I've complained about here that isn't Ford-related) (shit, I'm sorry I tainted this post with the F-word... that F-word!) the last few years, just about broke me. I can't wait to see what St. John does with this material the next few weeks.

When I say "just about broke me," it's because I have to give due respect to the (yes, totally manipulative, and I'm a sucker) thing that did break me, which obviously started with the great moment of Viki (who... oh my Jesus, can we talk about Erika Slezak and her eyes today??) just breaking down and laughing at all this, and then saying she couldn't believe she was laughing at it and then...

Todd: That's...the only way, really. (Long pause.) 

Viki: Wow.

Todd: Can I have a hug?


Viki (about to fucking break into pieces): My brother doesn't like hugs.

Todd (at this point Louise about to break into pieces): Your brother was locked up for eight years. The only time anybody ever touched me was to torture... I could use your hug now.

Viki goes to hug
The hug

I have no descriptor words. I have to go gargle or something because there's something in my throat. Something.

I hate you, Show! Stupid, mean, emotionally manipulative, breaking-my-heart, making-me-cry Show!

That's all.


Today's show. Wow. KdP and RH brought their A game! Of course Todd blames Blair! Which just shows that he really is Todd. He still has his temper issues. He can't blame the kids. He won't blame Vicki. Irene(who deserves all of the hatred) isn't important or close to him anyway. Victor will get more than his share. Tea will get some of the anger, but Blair will always get the worst of it. Due to the fact that Todd actually loves Blair. (And he knows that Blair won't truly leave him.) The only time it isn't Blair's fault in Llanview is when Kevin is in town. Which explains why Blair is always apologizing.

Manning central. I could buy Victor freaking out about Dani's freak out at the very thought of him not being the real Todd. And in a moment of panic decide to try to hightail it out of town with Tea, Dani, Jack, Starr and Hope. I didn't hear poor adorable Sam's name there. Was I mistaken? I remember Victor saying that he wanted to take Tea, Jack, Dani, Starr and Hope to Hawaii. I didn't catch Sam's name. Which would be interesting. Victor was uber upset @ the very idea of losing "Todd's" kids. But not a mention of his own flesh and blood child? One more Sam centered question/comment. Anyone else wish that Todd would've thrown Sam's name in to the mix(ala--'You even had a kid with him!') while having his hissy fit @ Blair? Since Todd really should have no clue that Sam was adopted by Blair as a baby.

Once again, the placement of characters in this storyline should've been tweaked a bit. Where the hell was Vicki? Why was Vicki with either Todd or Victor? Making sure that they were okay. Todd, I could buy her trusting him to go to Dorian's to reunite with the Kramer/Mannings. But why the heck wasn't she watching Victor? Making sure that he was okay and being honest? The man's entire world has literally been blown into a million itty bitty pieces by a sociopathic mother's plans. He is about to lose three of "his kids" and possibly his wife. Desperate people don't always make sane decisions.

Ghost Gigi is bad enough. I don't think that I could stomach a "Gigi is alive" storyline. The Stacy idea doesn't really work. Wasn't the whole thing with the Shane cancer storyline was that Stacy really wasn't a match, but she was just faking it to get in good with Rex? Clint was actually a match for Shane, but it also turned out that Mitch was too. So Clint decided to just stay out and be like a backup donor for Shane.

And let's just not even mention the F-word scenes. The FF button is a godsend.

Geez, I think that I've made this post long enough!

He did mention Sam. Right in the middle of Starr telling everyone, when he was still in denial mode, he said they should go to La Boule and get Hope and Sam and still go to Hawaii.

@stlbf: Great comment.

Todd actually does know that Sam isn't Blair's biological child. He saw a news report about the circumstances of Sam's conception online at some point while he was still lurking.

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