There's Something Stuck In My Throat
Y'all probably knew I couldn't resist, but before I get to dealing with this weird lump-thing in my throat: the effing tape is back. Close-ups, serious musical underscoring, the whole deal. My apologies to anyone who does find the Natalie's-babydaddy story to be riveting entertainment still, but I call mercy. Can someone please just overhear Brody monologuing to Liam about how he's not his bio-father? I do not care. I'm fine if this story gets resolved in one single solitary solo episode. I've been sick of that damn tape for a long time now. I want someone to crush it. Crush it. Let the ghost of Dr. Buhari come hover over John and Natalie and Brody and tell the truth and everyone can look at each other all "Oopsie" and John and Natalie can have their boring Cool Kids reunion and Brody can go freak out somewhere giving intense looks all over the place, but can it just happen now? And quickly?
Also, Dorian and Kelly don't actually get exit stories? Seriously? For serious? Really? They just get exit reasons? I find this so difficult and preposterous to believe that I'm assuming they've got something in their back pocket and we'll see them after these exits again. Are they going to be in Blair's story about Todd at all?! Yes, they are. Of course they are. This couldn't be as ridiculous as it seems. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. It's fine by me if David goes off to do a Swedish art film (I've always thought he'd be great opposite Liv Ullman, haven't you?), but for Dorian and Kelly to just jaunt off like this? With nothing? Nothing? I don't accept it. I simply don't.
Tea and Blair were pretty funny today all testy with each other, though I'm glad Tea finally admitted that Blair wasn't actually evil (and come on, has been a damn good friend to her), and Florencia Lozano was adorable kicking things over in the house in that cute little sundress and I cannot wait to see what she does with whatever is handed to her tomorrow.
But... the Todds. Trevor St. John was phenomenal today. I might sound hyperbolic, but he did fabulous work when Irene told him he's Victor. The not-Todd Todd.
If I thought the Emmys next year were going to do anything more than a cursory nod at OLTL since it'll be over by then, I'd say St. John and Roger Howarth and Erika Slezak and Jerry verDorn and Kassie dePaiva and Florencia Lozano and half the damn cast would get nominated for their work. They won't, and I say that because I live on Earth and breathe air and those are the prerequisites for knowing that won't happen. But really. TSJTodd, who I mostly loathe (not the actor but the character in the last few years, and I won't even link because it's like 80% of what I've complained about here that isn't Ford-related) (shit, I'm sorry I tainted this post with the F-word... that F-word!) the last few years, just about broke me. I can't wait to see what St. John does with this material the next few weeks.
When I say "just about broke me," it's because I have to give due respect to the (yes, totally manipulative, and I'm a sucker) thing that did break me, which obviously started with the great moment of Viki (who... oh my Jesus, can we talk about Erika Slezak and her eyes today??) just breaking down and laughing at all this, and then saying she couldn't believe she was laughing at it and then...
Todd: That's...the only way, really. (Long pause.)
Todd: Can I have a hug?
Viki (about to fucking break into pieces): My brother doesn't like hugs.
Todd (at this point Louise about to break into pieces): Your brother was locked up for eight years. The only time anybody ever touched me was to torture... I could use your hug now.
I have no descriptor words. I have to go gargle or something because there's something in my throat. Something.
I hate you, Show! Stupid, mean, emotionally manipulative, breaking-my-heart, making-me-cry Show!