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« It's My Lucky Day | Main | There's Something Stuck In My Throat »

August 16, 2011

This Show Is Bananas

I feel it necessary to include a disclaimer that the following list is completely and totally factual, and all items contained therein happened exactly as represented, with no satire or phrasing of things in an overly dramatic way to exaggerate. It's not that I don't understand why you'd wonder that because, seriously, keep reading, but I just want to stress: real and true and what the hell?

1. Sonny stormed into Robin and Patrick's home, where they live with their young daughter, on an angry mission to find Jax and Josslyn (maybe I should put sarcastic airquotes around the "and Josslyn" because Joss and her fat-head were seriously not the cause for Sonny's fury; he'd probably act just as angrily and irrationally if Jax had run off with one of the sheep from Carly's nativity set. "I swear to God, Jax, you don't give me back that sheep and I'll kill you! Sheep stealing scum don't deserve to live!") and brandished a gun.

2. Sonny planned to murder Jax in Robin's home, while her daughter was there, and wound up shooting--accidentally, yes, and in the arm, but still, this is cause for concern!--shooting Robin.

3. Robin tried to tell Patrick that Emma hadn't seen or heard anything that had happened, even though the first word a flummoxed Patrick heard when he walked into his own living room was "Mommy got shot".

4. Robin insisted that Patrick not call the police.

5. Patrick listened to Robin.

6. There was absolutely zero follow up to Robin's shooting on today's episode.

What the crikey fuck?!

I think the last item on the list is giving me the most consternation because, really, what does a girl have to do for screentime?! She's the Chief of Staff of the General Hospital of General Hospital, she's connected to basically everybody on canvas and oh, right, ONE OF HER NEAREST AND DEAREST FRIENDS JUST SHOT HER and we get nothing?! If anything, I was looking forward to hearing her rationalize away the need to involve the police.

Robin: She definitely didn't see anything. I'm sorry. You're right. There's no justifying what sonny did tonight. I'm just trying to explain how the situation got out of hand. Sonny's been spiraling out since Brenda left him.
Patrick: Right. So now it's Brenda's fault.
Robin: I know that he stopped taking his medication the last time I saw him, I told him he needs to get back on his meds.

I wanted to see the rest of the conversation that eventually ended with Patrick saying, "You're right. The police have absolutely no business knowing that a violent, volatile mob boss, off of his medication and prone to impulsive fits of rage, is skulking around town ready to kill. What was I thinking, wanting to call the cops?! What a square I am!", but I guess that took place off-screen, along with Patrick's conversation with Sonny that expounded upon his angry and distracted "Get out!", which I imagine went along the lines of "If you ever set foot on my property again, I will kill you with my bare hands and wear your ribcage as a hat. Well, judging by your stature, it would be more of a fez but still, come near my family and I will end you."

Should I even bother hoping that Robin will get a dramatic, awesome scene with Sonny confronting him about the (fingers crossed, irrevocable) damage he did to their relationship and reaming him out for bringing violence into her daughter's life, or...should I not even get my hopes up?

What did we get instead of Scorpio-Drake follow up scenes? A whole lot of Mac/Alexis/Diane/Coleman filler (a little of Diane and Coleman, separately and together, goes a long way, Garin Wolf. Just a bit of advice!) and a whole lot of Sonny acting like an immature douchebag.

Sonny: You don't have anything better to do?
Dante: Than arrest people who commit crimes? That's kind of the main event around here.

SONNY: YOUR FACE is the main event around here!

Sonny: It pissed me off because you took out your gun and started talking like you're a big time cop or something.

Sonny: Family always comes first!
Dante: That must be how I got a bullet in my chest.
Sonny: You...UGGGGH! I didn't know you were my son! We're going to go down that road?!

Sonny, because this is totally how jail works: Dante! Take these off me, I'm getting out of here.
Dante: Yeah, and right into a holding cell.
Sonny: I can't be in closed quarters because (at this point, Maurice Benard just totally loses track of the line of dialogue as written and sort of stammers a lot of what's and I's and then all of a sudden remembers one important word and screams it)...CLAUSTROPHOBIC!

His childishness and complete inability to let someone have the last word is going to come back to haunt him, though, because while he bickered with Dante, he totally showed his hand.

Dante: That'll do.
Sonny: Do what?
Dante: Give Jax enough time to get out of town without dodging any bullet and maybe an innocent bystander won't catch one in the head.
Sonny: Jax isn't going anywhere!

So when Jax is presumed dead in an upcoming plane crash, this is going to be a key piece of evidence against him in the trial that will eat up a few months on the show before Sonny is eventually acquitted, right?


The lack of follow up to the Robin/Patrick scenes was ridiculous! I do think Robin didn't want to call the cops because she didn't want Jax to get into trouble to and she was in shock and in denial, but if she doesn't get a scene where she gets to tell Sonny off I'm going to be pissed. She was pissed at him when he first showed up at her house so it would make no sense that she's no longer pissed after he fired a shot in her home.

I love Dante in truth telling mode with Sonny. It almost makes up for lying about Sonny shooting him in the chest.

I think someone who is bipolar going off their meds is realistic. But the problem with Sonny is that I don't see the big difference between Sonny on his meds and Sonny off his meds. He was on his meds when he shot Dante in the chest and when he almost blew up Kristina, so what was his excuse then?

I will kill you with my bare hands and wear your ribcage as a hat. Well, judging by your stature, it would be more of a fez but still

...I just laughed for, like, five minutes. You took a Buffy quote and gave it a Doctor Who spin and made it SHINY AND NEW. Well DONE. :D

NY State doctors who don't report a gunshot wound are subject to a year in jail and all kinds of medical licensing issues.

That won't be mentioned I'm sure.

I was almost sad when Lucky came out of his drug-induced state. At least under the influence of drugs, he appreciated Liz. And why is Liz behaving as if she is guilty? It was Siobhan's own fault that she fell down the stairs. Oh why, why did Ethan have to interrupt Siobhan being put out of our misery? I was hoping that Siobhan would not have survived surgery.

I wish Jax would have gotten away with Josslyn. Um, Sonny shot Robin in her house? Are we sure Guza's left the building?

Sonny has become absolutely unbearable. I mean, I couldn't stand him before but now this is just getting ridiculous. In a completely rational, well-thought out, real world situation, all these scenes would indicate the final downfall of Sonny Corinthos. I seriously think that the character of Sonny Corinthos has run his course. I don't like that the show and all the characters on the show have pretty much revolved around him for this long

The only thing I hold against Deke is that he ever let Sonny out of that closet.

(at this point, Maurice Benard just totally loses track of the line of dialogue as written and sort of stammers a lot of what's and I's and then all of a sudden remembers one important word and screams it)...CLAUSTROPHOBIC!

That was COMEDY GOLD. I thought I was going to DIE.

But I really am beginning to worry about Mo, because I don't think he's good enough to play someone in a downward psychotic spiral this well. His halting speech and glitches, of which the above was the best yet, are just a little too realistic. (I know bipolar schizoprenics, this symptom is one I've seen many times.) This may be one of those storylines that he later admits spilled over into his actual illness.

Which makes me feel bad for laughing, but OMG it was funny, and I'm mean.

***Which makes me feel bad for laughing, but OMG it was funny, and I'm mean.***

I can't even form a rational post because I keep laughing at that!

It would have been awesome if Sonny's gun backfired and he wound up dead on Robin's floor!

Would someone be kind enough to elaborate on the "wacky hi-jinx" between Mac/Alexis and Diane/Coleman? Worth watching? Or don't waste my time? Thanks.

Thank you lovely post and great comments....thanks!

Coleman/Alexis and Mac/Diane discussed Mac/Alexis' non-relationship. Dianne urged Mac to take a chance, while Alexis pretty much said that the thought of Mac does nothing for her. It was as interesting as watching paint dry. TV Megasite should have a transcript up, if you're curious.

robin wasn't shot. the vase was. she was injured from the broken vase that hit her arm.

Has anyone noticed Dianne in the swiffer commercial where she plays dirt?! I guess it's better than the drab material she gets on GH...

"If you ever set foot on my property again, I will kill you with my bare hands and wear your ribcage as a hat. Well, judging by your stature, it would be more of a fez but still, come near my family and I will end you."

Dear Mallory,
I love you with all my heart for that visual. Diet Pepsi came out of my nose from the laughter it induced. I LOVE YOU!!!

My Robin love has been well-documented around her, and I have expounded on it at length, so everyone needs to understand that this is NOT Robin-bashing.....but, damn it, girl, THE HELL is wrong w/you, chick? Sonny is NOT the same man that held she and Stone's hands and bore them up-that was Claire Labine's Sonny, and Bob Guza's Sonny has gone so far down the road of sleaze, arrogance, and batshit craziness, that he will NEVER be Claire Labine's Sonny again, no matter WHO is writing him. So it is time for ROBIN to tell Sonny that not only not only will Patrick be wearing his ribcage as a fez (so love you for that, btw), she will have new shoes and a matching handbag made out of greasy, sweaty Corinthos skin if he EVER dares SPEAK to her again, much less sets foot near her or her daughter. I just...Robin gave Jason up to Carly and ran all the way to Paris b/c she couldn't deal with the violence and the lies, and how they affected MICHAEL-you're telling me she's going to let someone fire a gun in the house with her OWN DAUGHTER and just be like, "Oh, well, no one got SERIOUSLY hurt, so it's all good!". Uh, BULLLLLLL-SHEEET! However, on a positive note, it was nice to see them write Patrick acting like an asshole over something that he SHOULD act like an asshole over-Patrick actually is pretty hot when he's all pissed-off and shouty, when he's not being pissed-off and shouty w/Robin, which we never really got to see until GW.

^^ Excellent post Marianne.

When I read spoilers about Sonny firing a gun in Robin's house, I kinda got excited. Considering how much Robin and Sonny meant to each other in the Labine years, and how Guza kept the friendship going in his own inept way during his reign, I thought Sonny shooting the woman who he promised Stone on his deathbed to take care of would result in some soapy goodness.

Then I watched the episode. WTH?! The shooting and emotional fall out should have been the A storyline for the episode. Instead, the show opens with Spinelli/Maxie/Lulu and ends with Jason/Carly/Sam. The confrontation between Robin and Sonny consists of "get me a towel." Instead of Patrick and Robin comforting Emma after seeing her mom get shot, or Robin trying to explain to Patrick and the audience why she still is protecting Sonny, they talk about Jason's brain injury. The Drakes weren't even in the final segment.

If I didn't know any better, I would swear this episode was written under Guza.

I didn't enjoy the hi-jinx at Jake's, but I really enjoyed the conversations about relationships. It really showcased the acting skills of all the actors. I do have to express appreciation for shirtless Coleman! Don't know what it is about that man!

But.... the hopes we didn't dare to hope panned out today! The scenes with Robin and Carly and Sonny kicked ass!!! Go Garin!!!

I have to say that I have already read this article and I remembered it because I laughed the first time about the fez comment but I laughed even harder this time because I actually saw the image in my head and OMG what a wonderfully funny image that was. Thank you for that good laugh before I go to bed and God bless you for this article.

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