This Show Is Bananas
I feel it necessary to include a disclaimer that the following list is completely and totally factual, and all items contained therein happened exactly as represented, with no satire or phrasing of things in an overly dramatic way to exaggerate. It's not that I don't understand why you'd wonder that because, seriously, keep reading, but I just want to stress: real and true and what the hell?
1. Sonny stormed into Robin and Patrick's home, where they live with their young daughter, on an angry mission to find Jax and Josslyn (maybe I should put sarcastic airquotes around the "and Josslyn" because Joss and her fat-head were seriously not the cause for Sonny's fury; he'd probably act just as angrily and irrationally if Jax had run off with one of the sheep from Carly's nativity set. "I swear to God, Jax, you don't give me back that sheep and I'll kill you! Sheep stealing scum don't deserve to live!") and brandished a gun.
2. Sonny planned to murder Jax in Robin's home, while her daughter was there, and wound up shooting--accidentally, yes, and in the arm, but still, this is cause for concern!--shooting Robin.
3. Robin tried to tell Patrick that Emma hadn't seen or heard anything that had happened, even though the first word a flummoxed Patrick heard when he walked into his own living room was "Mommy got shot".
4. Robin insisted that Patrick not call the police.
5. Patrick listened to Robin.
6. There was absolutely zero follow up to Robin's shooting on today's episode.
What the crikey fuck?!
I think the last item on the list is giving me the most consternation because, really, what does a girl have to do for screentime?! She's the Chief of Staff of the General Hospital of General Hospital, she's connected to basically everybody on canvas and oh, right, ONE OF HER NEAREST AND DEAREST FRIENDS JUST SHOT HER and we get nothing?! If anything, I was looking forward to hearing her rationalize away the need to involve the police.
Robin: She definitely didn't see anything. I'm sorry. You're right. There's no justifying what sonny did tonight. I'm just trying to explain how the situation got out of hand. Sonny's been spiraling out since Brenda left him.
Patrick: Right. So now it's Brenda's fault.
Robin: I know that he stopped taking his medication the last time I saw him, I told him he needs to get back on his meds.
I wanted to see the rest of the conversation that eventually ended with Patrick saying, "You're right. The police have absolutely no business knowing that a violent, volatile mob boss, off of his medication and prone to impulsive fits of rage, is skulking around town ready to kill. What was I thinking, wanting to call the cops?! What a square I am!", but I guess that took place off-screen, along with Patrick's conversation with Sonny that expounded upon his angry and distracted "Get out!", which I imagine went along the lines of "If you ever set foot on my property again, I will kill you with my bare hands and wear your ribcage as a hat. Well, judging by your stature, it would be more of a fez but still, come near my family and I will end you."
Should I even bother hoping that Robin will get a dramatic, awesome scene with Sonny confronting him about the (fingers crossed, irrevocable) damage he did to their relationship and reaming him out for bringing violence into her daughter's life, or...should I not even get my hopes up?
What did we get instead of Scorpio-Drake follow up scenes? A whole lot of Mac/Alexis/Diane/Coleman filler (a little of Diane and Coleman, separately and together, goes a long way, Garin Wolf. Just a bit of advice!) and a whole lot of Sonny acting like an immature douchebag.
Sonny: You don't have anything better to do?
Dante: Than arrest people who commit crimes? That's kind of the main event around here.
SONNY: YOUR FACE is the main event around here!
Sonny: It pissed me off because you took out your gun and started talking like you're a big time cop or something.
Sonny: Family always comes first!
Dante: That must be how I got a bullet in my chest.
Sonny: You...UGGGGH! I didn't know you were my son! We're going to go down that road?!
Sonny, because this is totally how jail works: Dante! Take these off me, I'm getting out of here.
Dante: Yeah, and right into a holding cell.
Sonny: I can't be in closed quarters because (at this point, Maurice Benard just totally loses track of the line of dialogue as written and sort of stammers a lot of what's and I's and then all of a sudden remembers one important word and screams it)...CLAUSTROPHOBIC!
His childishness and complete inability to let someone have the last word is going to come back to haunt him, though, because while he bickered with Dante, he totally showed his hand.
Dante: That'll do.
Sonny: Do what?
Dante: Give Jax enough time to get out of town without dodging any bullet and maybe an innocent bystander won't catch one in the head.
Sonny: Jax isn't going anywhere!
So when Jax is presumed dead in an upcoming plane crash, this is going to be a key piece of evidence against him in the trial that will eat up a few months on the show before Sonny is eventually acquitted, right?