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« There's Something Stuck In My Throat | Main | A...Weird Surprise »

August 20, 2011

Well, Nothing Lasts Forever

It was bound to happen sooner or later. It was pretty much three straight weeks of One Life to Live kicking all manner of ass. Pure soap heaven for me. It couldn't last.

It's not that yesterday's was a bad episode -- there was some great stuff in there. But there was a dark, dark cloud over all of it that made it impossible to enjoy and too easy to pick apart. What was that dark cloud? Oh, you know.


Dammit. We'd gotten such a nice break from Ford, but there he was, grinning and being oh-so-cute with HIS SON (did you know he has a son? He does, and he's a changed man, y'all, it's a beautiful thing!) and apparently "challenging" Jessica or some shit that's supposed to make us want their adversarial relationship to turn romantic because it's just so hot. It's not. It will never be hot. They're totally gross. And this actually happened.

Jessica: Well, I found out the man I thought was my Uncle Todd is really my Uncle Victor, my dad's under house arrest. Oh! And Natalie and Brody just happened to leave some apartment listings lying around in case I didn't get the memo that they're totally crazy in love! (Dear Jessica, you should watch them together sometime. It couldn't more stiff and awkward. There's certainly no joy or love going on there. Go claim your man, please. He'll be available any second now. --Ed.)

And then regarding Clint...

Ford: So, he gets to live in this mansion, with his daughter checking in on him, surrounded by his grandkids like he hasn't done a damn thing wrong?! 

Jessica: Keep your voice down, you'll wake Ryder.

Ford: Did you know that his hired muscle beat me so badly that I had to check into a hospital?

(The line that should have been here is Jessica: Oh, you mean when he had them beat you up for the first time you took advantage of my mental illness and sexed me up and then lied about it so you wouldn't get into the trouble you so obviously deserved to be in? --Ed.)

Ford: Jessica, he changed Ryder's paternity test so that I wouldn't even know he was mine! Not to mention the countless other crimes he committed. And now he has to do his time here. There are -- there are so many things wrong with this I don't even know where to start!

(Dear Ford, would you like me to start counting up your crimes? You know, the ones that you've never had to deal with actually being prosecuted for? Remember when you blackmailed a serial killer which led to the deaths of a few more people? Oh, and how about statutory rape? And breaking and entering, and overpowering and tying up a nun? Do I need to keep going, ass-munch?  --Ed.)

Jessica: Fine, fine, why don't you go upstairs and yell at him? And then maybe the heart that Rex sold him will burst right out of his chest! Will that make you feel better?

Ford:  Forddumb

(No, seriously, he gave her that look. That shocked, hurt look. Seriously. As if she'd crossed some line and he just couldn't believe it. Seriously. --Ed.)

Ford: Jessica. Jessica, what am I missing. What's going on?

Okay, really? Was this supposed to be some beautiful moment that showed us just how sensitive he is to her that he can tell that there's something really wrong? Uh, what do the words "I found out the man I thought was my Uncle Todd is really my Uncle Victor, my dad's under house arrest. Oh! And Natalie and Brody just happened to leave some apartment listings lying around in case I didn't get the memo that they're totally crazy in love!" mean to you, Ford? Wow, it's like you can read Jessica's mind! How did you know there was something wrong! It's like you have a sixth sense. It's fate, y'all. These two are destiny.

Just so gross. And the episode progressed as we all knew it would, with the two of them talking about their various unresolved feelings for Brody and for Tess in some manner that I'm sure was intended to generate sexual tension, but really just generated an acute sense of nausea for me. Speaking of nausea, this all led up to the predictable cliched moment in which their yelling at each other led to this nastiness:


I'm really glad I'm single because this shit would really put me off kissing for quite some time. Stop it, Show! You were on such a roll!


In the mostly fabulous Tale of Two Todds, I have to say that I think yesterday was a bit of a misstep. It's not that it wasn't as engaging as it usually has been, it's just that... it feels rushed now. I was glad that they rushed Irene's big revelations because that's the absurdity you just have to lay out there to get back to the good stuff. But the good stuff that had been so near-perfect so far seemed to skip an awful lot of beats yesterday. I thought it was fabulous that Victor's "team" (can I just say how happy I am to stop with the TSJTodd and RHTodd monikers and move on to Victor and Todd?) found out that he's not Todd the way they did. I loved Victor lying to his people that he's really Todd and trying to get them out of town with a creepy, fake smile of joy and ultimately screwing up by trying to include Starr, who made everyone face the truth. That was terrific, and Trevor St. John did great work once again (as did everyone else in those scenes and, when I say that, I include Andrew Trischitta in the sense that when he doesn't have lines, he just always has this perpetual "duh" look of shell-shock on his face which actually works in these scenes) (and this is easily the best work I have ever seen from Kristen Alderson by a country mile, which is great to watch). But upon facing the truth? It took everyone about ten seconds to soften and essentially say that nothing has changed and he's still their father in their hearts or whatever, and then they all went in for a group hug.


I am hoping this was just a timing issue based on Trevor St. John's departure timeline, because it just feels like there was so much drama to be mined here and they just skipped it. I believe that some of these characters would feel this way -- after all, he's still family and it's not like anything that's happened in the past eight years now hasn't happened (although in Starr's case, I have no idea why that would be of any comfort -- he hasn't been any sort of loving father figure to her in the better part of the last five years) and we know (?) he wasn't deliberately deceiving them, but shouldn't at least one character have a "I can't deal with this right now, I have to go" moment? This was way too pat. So far finding out that he isn't Todd at all and was brainwashed by his own mother has had virtually zero ramifications on Victor's life at all. Huh? (Though I do want to give them credit for one terrific part of the backstory: Victor is a man with no past. His mother had him isolated and sheltered his entire life [as far as we know] before the switch, so now it's a matter of forging his own identity rather than trying to reclaim one.)

And Todd and Blair had their first real scenes together since his return. Much of it was vintage Todd-and-Blair arguing, including fighting over a gun, of course...


...and of course Todd blames Blair for this entire thing (even though it was actually Starr's belief that Victor really was Todd that cinched it for all of his loved ones, not to mention the fact that Victor's non-Todd-like behavior is exactly the reason Blair isn't with him anymore), but it was like they fell right back into that without anything in between. Like shock? Like being emotionally bowled over? Like anything at all? I know Blair's been through hell and it's hard to rock her world, but this should rock her world to its very core. She just kind of sat down and showed him some photo albums and told him a few stories and then did damage control with his rage and took it all in stride as if this were an ordinary day in the life. I feel like we're still waiting for something to happen there. Am I crazy? Was this a little bit muted for what their first scenes should have been? After some great moments early on in the episode...




...it just went too fast for me. They've still got five months of five-days-a-week episodes! Relax!

Am I nuts here? These were certainly good scenes to watch, but did it feel to anyone else like we skipped some of the good drama? Maybe I'm being unfair and we'll circle back around to those necessary beats after we muck through the necessary "REVENGE!" plot, and I hope that's true, I really do. But my insane soap high did get just a tiny bit lower at the end of this week. It couldn't last forever! Especially when there's a Ford lurking.


Delicious Ford rant, Louise. I could not believe the words coming out of that hypocritical ass's mouth. Those in glass houses who ASSAULTED NUNS shouldn't throw stones.

I don't think I minded Tea and Jack accepting Victor as their father without blinking. The story has been leading to that since they all saw Todd. As a person who's watched the show sporadically at best since the original gang rape of Marty, it's seemed obvious to me that Todd has always loved Blair and that Victor has always loved Tea. That may not be what actually has been shown for the last 20 years, but that's what I've taken away since watching these last three weeks. So Tea accepting him, I get. Jack has only known Victor as his dad, I get that.

I'm not that bothered by Dani being Team Victor this quickly, but I kept thinking about Eli (or was it Ross that raised her?) After she accepted Victor as her father, did she still have fond memories of the man that actually raised her, her entire life or did she just write him off as the evil (but mostly unknowing) usurper who kept her from her real daddy? I'm actually asking because I didn't finish watching that story. If even after he was turned into the eviest evil who's ever eviled, she talked to her mom about how he was never like that and she still loves him, then I can accept her accepting Victor in teh same way knowing that he's not her biological father. HOwever, if Ross doesn't still have some place in her heart, then I have a hard time with her stand on Victor.

If anyone should be out in the cold and confused and outside the group hug, it's Starr. I thought that's where they would go with this. She knew both men as her dad, she's loved both as her dad, she's going to be torn. And I think if TSJ were staying around, we'd get to see that played out some more. I also think the Victor making an identity story would be a good one. However, I felt like they were setting up perfect family tableau so that next week they can show his dead body and it be that much more horrible (I'm not spoiled, I'm just a sometimes avid daytime watcher and know how this usually works out).

Seeing as how Jessica wasn't even really into that kiss and still hung up on Brody, I'm hoping that the rapist and his rape victim won't end up together.

As for the Blair/Todd scenes, it was kinda flat, but I think that Blair has shut down and she was preparing herself for the inevitable Todd blaming her bit.

I have developed what someone on another board IDed as Ford-induced Tourette's. Every time he's on screen I start swearing uncontrollably that the TV. He is completely loathsome and I hate this whole story.

I actually thought the rest of yesterday's show was really off. Both the speed of Team Victor's group hug and Blair's weirdly muted reaction to Todd. I'm hoping for better things on Monday. I know they're really rushing to get things in before TSJ leaves, but they still seem to be missing a lot of story beats. After the way the early part of the story dragged this feels especially wrong.

Louise, I felt like it was a bit rushed too. I would have to have seen Blair & Tood having more of a hard time accepting all this. I am happy that with the totally over the top, preposterous way they explained the 2 Todds, it has allowed everyone to have some sympathy for Victor. TSJ is knocking it out of the park.

I think Natalie and Brody are very hot together & would be happy to see them end up together, not that I think it will happen!

You mentioned that Nat & Brody are awkward together, but the other day I saw THE most awkward kiss on Y&R, between Robert Scorpio & Laura Spencer er, I mean Colin & Genevieve. It was painful to watch!

oltlgirl, oh my god I do NOT think I could handle watching Tristan Rogers and Genie Francis kissing! Y&R is one of the only 2 soaps I don't watch and at the moment I'm relieved for it. (The non-relief comes from the probability that it'll be the last show standing and I don't want to ever give up soaps, no matter how much new respect this would earn me from friends and family.)

I think Nat and Brody were hot together their first two sex-ups. Since then it's seemed so forced and awkward. It's not that Archer and Lawson don't have chemistry, they certainly do. (In fact both of those actors kick ass at generating chemistry in general.)

LoriK, absolutely. This could improve as early as Monday, and I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt since the last few weeks have been so spectacular. Just an off episode. And Ford-induced Tourette's? Fuck yeah! I think have that shit too.

When Victor asked Starr if she still accepted him as her father, I fully expected her to start rattling off a list of all the things he's done to her in the past few years. "You tried to kill my boyfriend multiple times, you pushed me down a flight of stairs, you tried to steal my baby, you indirectly almost got my boyfriend killed, you tricked me into keeping my daughter away from her grandmother... HELL NO!" But... she just went with it. Starr's been getting back to her feisty self lately, and this episode didn't go along with it. I wanted her to smack Victor, say "My REAL dad never would have done that," and run back into Todd's arms. But no? That's how they're gonna play it? He might as well still be Todd for how nice everyone's being to him!

Fridays show was a huge mistep. After Thursday when Starr admitted that even though she didn't know why she missed him for her to be all, I love you Uncle Victor just rang false. And Sorry Victor is not the innocent victim, for once Todd is and for Blair to be happily showing him pictures of what in Todd perspective was her saying was see we didn't miss you at all, Sucks that you were torturedfor 8 years look how pretty I was when I married Victor.

Well, I adore Natalie and Brody. The situation they are in is awkward, but I love watching them together. The actors have wonderful chemistry and they managed to make Brody and Natalie much more engaging than what the writers intended.

Natalie and Brody aren't in love so I dare not invest in them. It seems to be against the law that Natalie love anyone but the mournful burnt-out surly drunk cop.

This may be the most unpopular thing I say today, but I thought Todd and Blair were extremely mismatched in the last episode, chemistry-wise. I know that's sacrilege or something, but there you have it. I think Tomas and Blair are much better-suited than Todd and Blair. Tomas doesn't verbally abuse her, for one. Don't get me wrong. Todd is fascinating, but he doesn't really have sexual or romantic chemistry with anyone, which is a good thing as far as I'm concerned, considering the man is a brutal gang rapist. I think Blair needs a break from men like Todd.

I hate to say it, but I do believe Jessica annoys me more than Ford. She has so many things to be rightfully angry about, but her personality is extremely grating on the nerves. She caught Brody and Natalie in bed together in mid-June and I grew tired of her incessant complaining in late June.

I don't like Victor at all, but the way Irene talks about him, her "beloved boy", gives me the creeps. I wonder how close they were, if you know what I mean. ((gross))

Louise, what did you think about Cutter revealing Aubrey's real name is Christine Karr? There's a rumor saying that she is the daughter of Katrina Karr, whose daughter was switched at birth by Karen Wolek and Marco Dane when Karen's sister Jenny's baby died back in the early 80's. And what do you think of The Spotted Pony strip club and the fact that its related to Cutter and her rumored sister Kim's secert? (along with being also sorta tied to the Rex/Ghost Gigi s/l?) How come you didn't mentioned the Aubrey and Cutter scenes in your blog entry? At least compared to the Ford/Jess scenes, it was more watchable!

Misspelled secret! OOPS!

Katrina Karr's baby was named Mary way back when, but I'm sure it could have been changed after Katrina left town.I'm meh on Aubrey, but interesting use of history if it turns out to be true.

Funny how just one day of rubber lipped Rapey Ford can kill a two week buzz, isn't it?

I don't know, I liked those (non-Ford) scenes so much, I don't really care about the speed. And for the Todd/Blair stuff, I think, on Blair's part, she's already done the "bowled over" stuff. She's known that was Todd since that kiss; she just wasn't willing to fully admit it.

If only Ford could become a murder victim. That said, I loved all thursday's scenes between Starr and RHTodd but the reveal is a bit rushed.

OLTL rocks.

How I wish TSJ was staying so that we can get the full impact of Victor and Todd all living in Llanview and then along comes Tina!

Jessica is a whiny Princess who had sex with Ford minutes before busting in on Natalie and Brody after another bout of "Le Moan sex!"

Starr is a brat. Starr has spent the last eight years either mad or loving her father and now all of a sudden she and Jessica both instinctively know that he is some how "not right"? BS.

Todd#1's comment about not sexing up Marty and how anyone could believe that he would sleep with his rape victim had me lunging for the TV. Hello? Actors act out what's on the page and if it was RH or TSJ in the role and it called for sexing up Marty, well so be it...it was a vulgar s/l that was in the works years ago and RH and SH both refused to play a romantic Todd and Marty.

I like Blair with Tomas. There has been way too many years of Todd#1 and Todd#2 with Blair.

I enjoyed all the non-Ford scenes too. Especially since I think they are far from done with the ramifications of it all. Jack may want to call Victor daddy, but RH Todd isn't going to stand for it. And Dani still could be a wild card. However it plays out, I enjoyed what I saw, probably because I enjoy (most) of the actors so much, and because the pacing and storyline have been so engrossing these past weeks.

There is nothing I can say about Fudd that you haven't already said, better than I can - especially since I lost my mind every time I see or hear that weaselly cretin on screen. I detest that retilian lifeform even more than Ryass Lavery on AMC, and I didn't think such a thing was possible. The gross out moment for me is when Fudd lowers his voice and puts on his "isn't being a daddy just the BEST!" moronic smile and says something that's supposed to sound cute, but instead, since it is coming out of the mouth of someone who should be on sex offenders database, sounds creepier than Peter Lorre singing The Sound of Music.

The character - creature - fungus - mold - whatever Fudd is, should be expunged.
And Jessica needs a good scrubbing and a months time out.

LadyBug, RH left the show in 95 when Malone wanted him to start a romance with Marty. So, if he were on the show for the rapemance, I'm sure that he would have left the show.

As for how Blair ends up with, I'd rather it be Todd#1, who she still sees as the love of her life and who still loves her. Tomas is a person who lied to her about what he did to Todd#1 and lied to her about where he got the photo. He also obsessed over her for 8 years. Not exactly what I'd call healthy. What else could he be lying to her about??

***Todd#1's comment about not sexing up Marty and how anyone could believe that he would sleep with his rape victim had me lunging for the TV. Hello? Actors act out what's on the page and if it was RH or TSJ in the role and it called for sexing up Marty, well so be it***

What do this have to do with what TODD (the character) said??? Todd said this because this is how he justifies that people should have known that Victor wasn't him. It has nothing to do with what actor will do what. It is a plot point for Todd's anger.

Exactly. Tea, Blair and Starr should have known something was not right with TSJTodd when he did that to Marty and RHTodd pointing that out to them was awesome!

Deaths of television stars can definitely be a big deal for hardcore fans.

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