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« So NOW Can These People Shut Up? | Main | Ending With a Bang and a Whimper »

September 30, 2011

Law & Order: Special Nitwits Unit

The entirety of Port Charles falling all over themselves in a mad rush to lie on Michael's behalf is bound to have a seriously detrimental effect--it won't be detrimental for Michael, obviously, because he is made of Teflon and every bad act he commits or obnoxious attitude he pulls will be ignored or explained away or turned into something positive, rather than a list of traits common to sociopaths. It will be detrimental for ME because I may lose my mind from irritation and also boredom, because I can already see what's coming: Carly and Company will whine and rage whenever somebody has the audacity to question why Michael would ever do something like cover up a crime or his appearance at a crime scene, and Sonny will keep telling him "You did good, Michael" and not one person will be like, "You were seriously going to let your brother bleed to death on the grody floor of a warehouse. May God have mercy on your soul, you piece of human garbage". Annoying, all the way around!

Also annoying? How utterly inept the Port Charles Police Department is. I'm not even talking about Lucky "Sorry I didn't answer my phone for eight hours, I was just staring at some pills" Spencer, or Dante "Who needs a bulletproof vest when you can distract criminals with your feathered hair?" Falconeri, or Ronnie "Dyes his hair with shoe polish" Dimestico--I'll just drop a blanket "STUPID!" there for all of them. But it gets worse! Like, Delores letting Shawn just chill out at a crime scene by himself even though he's basically just some random guy?! WHAT?! Although, to be fair, based on her speech patterns, it seems likely that Delores is actually a robot and therefore not well versed in police protocol, but still!

Delores, enunciating every single sound she is making and pausing for a beat between syllables, because that's normal: Hey! Watch where you're moving that car!
Delores: [Leaves the crime scene for long enough for Shawn--who, remember, is just a random and suspicious looking guy, based upon his awkward "I'm hiding something!" body language and blank "Nothing to see here, folks!" stare--to assemble a bomb made of duct tape and cleaning supplies with which he can create a conspiracy theory about someone trying to blow up the warehouse and ooops, Dante was collateral damage which...this show's commitment to being patently absurd would be sort of inspiring (I mean, they really go for it, you know?) if it weren't so angry-making]

This effing show.

Also INCREDIBLY annoying? The face Carly made when she realized that Shawn was going to lie for Michael.

Carlysmug
"Excellent, I have another man willing to do my bidding," she is clearly thinking smugly and thoroughly impressed with herself and her sex appeal (I don't think even Carly is deluded enough to think men enjoy her for her sterling personality). Note to Laura Wright: faces like this are why some people don't like you.

Comments

I love your screencaps of Carly's face. No two are the same.

Seriously though, those caps are way more fun and interesting than the whole hour of the show. I've kinda walked from GH at the moment. I'm hoping lightning will strike the writers and they'll finally start firing on all cylinders. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

OMG thank you for mentioning and capping Carly's face. I became instantly ragey. I am so sick of this human and her evil first born spawn. Can Morgan come back hating them both with a passion (if we should ever see him again)???

Also:

'Lucky "Sorry I didn't answer my phone for eight hours, I was just staring at some pills" Spencer, or Dante "Who needs a bulletproof vest when you can distract criminals with your feathered hair?"'

LOL!

Lastly, regarding Delores *speaks in Delores-like voice* Is. She. Going. To. Be. A. Contract. Player? B/c no, please.

capping Carly's face for the win! LW plays Carly to perfection and that smug self-satisfied face makes me love her for hating her so much more <3

I'm hoping lightning will strike the writers and they'll finally start firing on all cylinders. Hey, a girl can dream, right..

Ummm..will someone please get Lulu out of that ridiculous "I rented a bad, poorly-fitting princess costume from the local Halloween store" green dress? It's so bad and loose in the front, I expect a "wardrobe malfunction" at any moment and am having trouble concentrating on her whiny, screeching-harpy dialogue. Oh wait. Maybe she should leave the dress on.

And couldn't she have said YES to Dante's proposal so the man had something to live for? She could have backed out later! Oh, she didn't have time. "Before I had a chance to answer, alarms started going off!" What about those 18 1/2 minutes before that? Couldn't squeeze a one-syllable word in there, eh?

Ack

I know everyone said Guza was fired to save money and that Garin wouldn't really be any better...but foolishly I hoped he would resurrect GH and make it great soap again.

Grody, ha! Grody to the max :-(

Loved the post, thanks for remaining the best thing about being a GH viewer.

Oh, and is anyone else terrified of Delores? Her speech and all it's halted stammeringness makes me shudder in regards to her parentage. Another Sonny spawn on the force perhaps? Ugh.

"Also INCREDIBLY annoying? The face Carly made when she realized that Shawn was going to lie for Michael."

Right? She had just redeemed herself a little for being freaked out by Michael and then she got all smirk-y when someone covered up again.

"not one person will be like, "You were seriously going to let your brother bleed to death on the grody floor of a warehouse. May God have mercy on your soul, you piece of human garbage"."

yeeeeeees. Lulu should be slapping the shit outta HIM, but you know neither Lulu or Dante will ever hear about it, and poor Dante will continue to coddle the guy who was willing to let him bleed to death on the floor.

Thanks I see someone watched the same thing I did. I saw some and read the Rest. I have had it with this show. Wolfe is just as bad as Guza.
I am just wondering how long before they just cancel the show and do the fans a favor. Just when I think it can't get any worse,we get this? are tiic trying to make us shut the show off?

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