Law & Order: Special Nitwits Unit
The entirety of Port Charles falling all over themselves in a mad rush to lie on Michael's behalf is bound to have a seriously detrimental effect--it won't be detrimental for Michael, obviously, because he is made of Teflon and every bad act he commits or obnoxious attitude he pulls will be ignored or explained away or turned into something positive, rather than a list of traits common to sociopaths. It will be detrimental for ME because I may lose my mind from irritation and also boredom, because I can already see what's coming: Carly and Company will whine and rage whenever somebody has the audacity to question why Michael would ever do something like cover up a crime or his appearance at a crime scene, and Sonny will keep telling him "You did good, Michael" and not one person will be like, "You were seriously going to let your brother bleed to death on the grody floor of a warehouse. May God have mercy on your soul, you piece of human garbage". Annoying, all the way around!
Also annoying? How utterly inept the Port Charles Police Department is. I'm not even talking about Lucky "Sorry I didn't answer my phone for eight hours, I was just staring at some pills" Spencer, or Dante "Who needs a bulletproof vest when you can distract criminals with your feathered hair?" Falconeri, or Ronnie "Dyes his hair with shoe polish" Dimestico--I'll just drop a blanket "STUPID!" there for all of them. But it gets worse! Like, Delores letting Shawn just chill out at a crime scene by himself even though he's basically just some random guy?! WHAT?! Although, to be fair, based on her speech patterns, it seems likely that Delores is actually a robot and therefore not well versed in police protocol, but still!
Delores, enunciating every single sound she is making and pausing for a beat between syllables, because that's normal: Hey! Watch where you're moving that car!
Delores: [Leaves the crime scene for long enough for Shawn--who, remember, is just a random and suspicious looking guy, based upon his awkward "I'm hiding something!" body language and blank "Nothing to see here, folks!" stare--to assemble a bomb made of duct tape and cleaning supplies with which he can create a conspiracy theory about someone trying to blow up the warehouse and ooops, Dante was collateral damage which...this show's commitment to being patently absurd would be sort of inspiring (I mean, they really go for it, you know?) if it weren't so angry-making]
This effing show.
Also INCREDIBLY annoying? The face Carly made when she realized that Shawn was going to lie for Michael.
"Excellent, I have another man willing to do my bidding," she is clearly thinking smugly and thoroughly impressed with herself and her sex appeal (I don't think even Carly is deluded enough to think men enjoy her for her sterling personality). Note to Laura Wright: faces like this are why some people don't like you.