Let's All Go to Camp!
I would be terribly derelict in my duties as a One Life to Live blogger if I just ignored yesterday's episode in its entirety, so let's quickly review the plain spectacular entrance of one Ms. Andrea Evans as Tina. The sequence was pretty pitch-perfect in terms of who they were re-introducing to the canvas. We started by seeing her dog, Princess David Vickers, enter the room first.
Which prompted a quick "What the...?" from Tea. Princess David Vickers then made a beeline to pee on Blair's foot. Which led to Viki realizing, with horror...
And then Tina came a-runnin' in with her patented look of surprise on her face, hidden underneath a hat that even Dorian might think a tad too much and quite possibly the most ridiculous head of hair Tina has ever had.
Which is saying a lot. (And this is no accident. This is not even close to what Andrea Evans' hair looked like in her last B&B appearance.)
Viki... was thrilled to see her little sister!
And then of course Tina had to get filled in a few minor details about some things that have developed in her absence...
That's right, Tina. Mommie Dearest is alive.
And since we're dealing with Tina Clayton Lord Roberts Rogan Vickers here...
...she fainted. "Rather dramatically," as Queen Victoria so dryly put it.
Which finally (and I only say "finally" because I can't make screencaps all day long, much as I'd like to) led to this most fabulous tableau of Llanview estrogen:
Only a be-hatted Dorian in this picture would make me happier.
I am so happy to have her back. And Andrea Evans and Barbara Rhodes are oddly perfect as mother and daughter -- the same kind of campy comedy style, true, but also in looks.
There's so much more to say about yesterday's show (caramels! "Give Grandma a kiss!"), but there's also today to get to! Today's episode brought more hilarious campy joy. Oddly, no one questioned how Victor-as-Todd drew up a will leaving everything to Irene, considering when Victor thought he was Todd, he also thought Irene was long dead. Everyone threw accusations around. Granny Irene's taken a shine to Jack! Couldn't have happened to a nicer kid! Blair called Irene a bitch and pushed her and slapped her and threatened her, a side of Blair that's always a welcome sight.
Today we also got this bit of dialogue:
Todd: Starr, please. Daddy needs your help getting out of jail.
Starr: Okay, let's do this!
Which yielded this absolute dynamite smile from Todd to his eldest gal.
Which led to one of those silly soap opera jailbreaks in which they hold guns on prison guards and talk about killing someone in front of said guards and expect to totally get away with it once they go exonerate the prisoner for the original crime because on soap operas, none of these things are crimes if you really had to do it because you were totally innocent!
I can't really address the horrible, nasty argument between Jessica and Natalie today because I just could not root for either one of them, nor was it any fun. They both have points and they're both being awful. Jessica has every right to be unhappy about Natalie and Brody, but she always keeps getting hung up on this class issue -- I can never root for someone who always jumps to "trailer trash" when furious at her sister who was raised without a silver spoon. And her inability to ever accept even partial responsibility for any of this isn't particularly sympathetic. Natalie has every right to find it beyond comprehension that Jessica can't (or won't try to) understand the hell she causes everyone when her alters are out, but to constantly suggest that there is no difference between Jessica's alters and Jessica's own wants and desires? If she really believes that, she should walk away from her own mother forever. I hold out some small hope that eventually we'll see that neither of these women believe everything they're spewing at each other and are only doing it out of hurt and anger, but I am sick to death of it. I haven't enjoyed anything about any scene with either Buke twin in a while. The fight choreography and direction were both good today, but when the characters aren't fun? Neither are their catfights.
This was all running concurrent with a discussion between Tina and Viki about their own sisterly relationship, which led to my favorite moment of the episode, mostly because it reminded me why I always loved Andrea Evans' Tina so much (unfortunately I don't have many positive things to say about any other Tinas other than Karen Witter's version). Her approach is very 1980's soap -- high camp, balls-to-the-wall hyperbole -- but when you need her to bring it down and show a little sincerity, she delivers. The contrast between the two makes it all the more effective, and she uses it well. Her "You have no idea what my life is like, Viki. And that was your choice." brought back memories of years' worth of these moments, the moments that make it hard not to love Tina no matter how awful she can be.
And finally, Clint got a surprise visitor at the end of today's episode. Any speculation? (No spoilers, please!) I'm hoping like a giddy schoolgirl that it's Cord.