Llanview, Town of False
I've been quite the letter-writer to my OLTL pals lately and today was inspired to write a letter to Téa Delgado, but partway through writing it I realized it would be better to talk behind her back because (a) I was unable to find polite ways to word my thoughts and (b) the poor woman is grieving right now so I'll give her a break. So tonight I'll be talking about a few of our favorite Llanview charmers behind their backs. Does it make me terrible? I'm just blowing off steam, y'all! That doesn't make me a mean girl, right?
Allow me to start by saying all the residents of that messed-up little town need to give up one particular pursuit as soon as possible. They need to stop having arguments about whether Todd was a worse person than Victor or Victor was a worse person than Todd. They're both psychotic asshole rapists that hold different levels of interest to various different observers of the town and evoke sympathy from various passers-by for a number of reasons. They need to stop pretending that either one of them is or was a good guy. (In fact, for years it was to the show's credit that for the most part we were never asked to think either one of them was an out-and-out swell guy, but this seems to have changed. In an effort to deepen the grief of Victor's loved ones, he has now been remembered repeatedly as a doting and loving father and as an attentive grandfather who was allegedly "so good" with Hope. No. He wasn't. And we're all sophisticated enough viewers to be able to feel for his grieving family without being told retroactively that he was sweet and tender and caring and wonderful. No. He wasn't. Not even a little bit. As I may have mentioned once or twice, we can still feel sad for his loved ones' loss just based on their own experiences with him. Credit here? Please?)
Okay, actually none of this is true according to Téa. Victor is a good guy who made some mistakes, while Todd is a sexually dysfunctional unfeeling monster. And a rapist, while Victor is not. Whoa. Téa's right about one thing: Victor was not an official sex offender. That's because Téa heard about the charges against Victodd (let's just call him that for the times during which everyone thought he was Todd) and came to town specifically to represent him and get those charges dropped. But today, according to Téa, she was suspicious at the beginning that he wasn't really Todd, despite her first lines to him upon her return in 2008 being, "A whole new face, only I could recognize you anywhere." At the time, she thought he was the man who acted as ringleader in a gang rape against Marty and then years later held her captive while she had amnesia and fed her lies about who she was and who he was until she fell in love with him and he slept with her while she was unable to give valid consent because of his own machinations. That version of Todd was worth returning to and representing in a court of law. But the (Vic)Todd who only did the last part of that is a poor fellow who makes mistakes, while the Todd who did the first part of it is somehow worse than the one who she thought did both?! I'm just trying to follow the logic here. That seems to be the equation laid out, but the math doesn't add up.
Let's try again.
50% old Todd plus 50% new Todd = GREAT GUY worth marrying and fighting for and putting up with.
GREAT GUY worth marrying and fighting for and putting up with minus one of those halves = an even GREATER GUY.
GREAT GUY worth marrying and fighting for and putting up with minus the other one of those halves = the scum of the Earth.
No, I still don't get it.
And then her explanation for why Victodd did all of those awful things he did to Marty and to Starr was that he was trying to make up for all the awful things Todd had done? Come again? "Make up for?" I believe the term would be "compete with."
I'll give credit where it's due in that Téa did think Victor made some "Todd Manning-sized mistakes," but these were apparently offset by Victor's good qualities, of which Todd has none. The primary good quality was that Victor was really into sex with Téa and Todd was not. Uh, did Téa think that made her look good?
I mean look. All the crap Todd pulled on Téa? He punched her, shoved her outside naked, took years to finally have sex with her and after he did he then left her stranded on a desert island she never would have been rescued from had Viki never found out about it and made a call. I'd be all for Téa hating that man except she didn't! She came back to town to be his attorney! If Victodd had spent years groveling and proving that he was a changed man, it would be one thing. But he didn't. He acted like the messed-up bastard everyone thought was Todd and it was A-OK.
Like I said, she thinks Todd killed her husband right now, so I will cut her a little slack and hope she realizes these logic chasms and comes to her senses after a little time has passed and will only say these things about her behind her back, here on the internet.
While I'm talking trash on these people... Todd? Now thinks that Starr knew Victor wasn't Todd? No. She didn't know. She now thinks she should have known and that this explains how their relationship changed, but she didn't know. She's the one who convinced everyone else he was Todd. And again, I realize he's grasping at anything right now while trying to re-gain his family, so I will cut him a little slack as well and only talk about him behind his back, here on the internet.
I'd also take this opportunity to talk trash on Ford, but I don't need to do that behind his back. Ford, you suck! All of the time! Go away!
Trash-talking done, because here come the compliments: Téa and Todd in the form of Florencia Lozano and Roger Howarth have always had great, fiery scenes together and even though I cannot sit here and pretend that I'm not over the effing moon about whatever possibilities are now in store for Blair and Todd, those two were great together today. I don't mean "great" in the "oh em gee let's get them back together" way. I mean as adversaries, they still got it. Nice work today from both actors. (Although oddly after all that, I still get the feeling Téa will be representing Todd. And I can only imagine the rage in the comments section from some of you passionate people...)
Speaking of nice work today from actors, Kassie dePaiva as Blair had to act opposite... kids saying lines out loud. Saying lines. And she had to deliver huge, heartbreaking emotional moments in scenes where she had nothing to work off of and she still managed to crush the crap out of it. I know I rave about her a lot, but I happen to think she kills it a lot. Kills it. She's sort of the go-to actor on the show for an awful lot of "one person carries the load" scenes. (But Sam is still so cute! Don't think I'm a turncoat!)
I should write a letter to Prospect Park, though. It could go something like, "Dear Prospect Park, future producers of the online OLTL: I guess y'all will probably need a new writer or two for when you transition to the internet. You're probably totally into people who already live in New York City and, say, people who have been watching the show for thirty years and, you know, folks who maybe have a ton of experience in dramatic writing... like even a couple of degrees in it and a big stack of produced plays to show for it and writers who really, really, really love this genre, right? Have I got the person for you! I have such great news! I'm totally free! Love, Weezie."
I'm hired, right? That was a pretty spectacular cover letter, right? I took an online course in how to write those; definitely got my money's worth, thank you very much!
I'm going to bed, I think it's time.