So NOW Can These People Shut Up?

Because we've all been patient. We've been sitting here week after week listening to all of the characters have the exact same conversations over and over and over. These conversations went something like...

Steffy: You are a wonderful man, Liam. You deserve the best.

Liam: You mean not Hope.

Steffy: She doesn't give you what you want. I mean I totally respect her values and wanting to make you wait till you're married to have sex, but it makes her a selfish beast who should probably go ahead and be given the electric chair.

Liam: You... might be right.

Steffy: I am.

Liam: I don't want you talking trash on my fiancee, okay?

Steffy: You know what, that's fine. If you don't want me to trash on Hope, I'll respect your wishes because I am here to serve you, unlike Hope, who is a miserable wretch of a woman who should be shot at dawn.

Liam: You... might be right. But I love her. And you, sort of. But she has dibs.

Steffy: I would sex you up any time, day or night, because that is a real woman's obligation. I'm always in the mood. I'm never gassy or sick, even, and I've already been through menopause, so no problems there! Seriously, I am ready to go right now.

Liam: We're in public.

Steffy: If Hope really loved you, she'd do you on a street corner.

Liam: Maybe. But I love her.

Steffy: Just give me a friendly kiss.

Liam: Okay! What could be wrong with that?

Perfectly innocent!

Hope: Mom, let's talk about sex! I'm going to do it! Do you have any tips? What position is your favorite?

Brooke: Oh, Ridge, just imagine! Our little girl might be getting her cherry popped as we speak! Aren't you excited?

Ridge: I couldn't be more delighted! I bet she's as spectacular in bed as her mother! I'll ask for graphic details later, but let's get it on first. 

Brooke: Let's role play! I'll be Hope and you be Liam!

Ridge: Or... vice versa.

Bill: Liam, as your father and as a man whose plan to bang young Steffy was thwarted a few weeks ago by my old ball and chain, I demand that you get a piece of that action and report back to me so I can the details I missed out on. Steffy, you are the right woman for my son. It's not weird at all that we were in love with each other last month.

Steffy: Do you wanna see my boobs, Liam? I love you! You are perfect! I will tell you that every day for the rest of your life!

Oliver: All of a sudden, I am so happy for y'all, Hope and Liam!

And so on and so forth, ad nauseam. 

Thankfully, today it all finally exploded. Hope saw one of Liam and Steffy's many makeout sessions and called off the engagement (of course without telling Liam what she'd seen), and Steffy pretended to feel truly horrible for him, mostly by caressing his chest. Within four minutes the two of them handled his devastated broken heart by getting engaged to each other. I'm not joking. And he proposed and gave her Hope's just-returned ring! 

And then they did the natural thing that one does when one's engagement has been broken off approximately ten minutes prior.

Yep, they bumped uglies. It was so romantic I almost cried a little.

Oh, this show.

On the upside, at least our long national nightmare is finally over! Next storyline, please.

Comments

[soapbaby]

"Within four minutes the two of them handled his devastated broken heart by getting engaged to each other. I'm not joking. And he proposed and gave her Hope's just-returned ring!"

WTF? I know it's B&B, but come on! That's too much. And this worst part is Brad Bell will write two good episodes to submit for next year's daytime Emmys, earning his fourth consecutive Emmy for Best Show. Again, WTF?

[LadyBug]

I had to stop recording B&B a few years ago because it was either taking multiple showers each day to wash off the feeling of sleaze or seeing a therapist because the show was so incestuous!

[Lisa]

No. You're joking, right? It had to be a spoof of Soapdish.

[Jen K]

WOW. I'm a couple days behind on the show (I think I'm still on Tuesday), but I couldn't resist reading this. Now I just want to delete those episodes from my DVR. I was hoping that above all, Liam would come out as one of the good guys, but no. I don't know what I was thinking. Ugh, poor Hope.

[kermitklein]

Why couldn't they just do the simple thing and have Steffy and Liam as friends and just friends? That alone could have unnerved Hope. Especially if you added in the mix of Steffy and Oliver possibly dating. Then that would be Hope's boyfriend being friends with Steffy and telling her his frustrations about the wedding which would have made Hope upset and Hope's ex-boyfriend wanting to date Steffy and Hope not liking that. What I really don't like is how they are making Steffy look in this. Pathetic. Kind of have a fondness for this character and really you know how this is going to end. Liam is still going to be sooo in love wth Hope, he's going to grovel and probably try to eat a shoe again (I really hate that couple), Hope is going to enjoy him groveling but eventually forgive him and people will still see her as the sweet, innocent girl that sings in the woods and the birds, rabbits, and deers listen intently to her singing because they think she's the best thing in the world, and Steffy will be left out in the cold as vindictive bitch.

[realbrenda4evr]

I cannot believe this happened. I shan't.

[Linda]

Soapbaby,

It looks like B.Bell only feels like writing great episodes to submit for those Emmys. The rest of the time, he just doesn't care, and this is the kind of dreck we have to stomach.

[Jackers]

I'm glad I stopped watching a few weeks ago. Can. Not. CBS is in the toilet.

[ziyal]

This is so puke-worthy! I too was hoping Liam might come out of this as the good guy, but is there any good guy left on this show? (maybe Thorne?). Ugh. Just UGH. (thanks for the recap Louise)

[Marley]

It was so bad that it was good. Liam proposing to Steffy with Hope's ring and Steffy tearfully accepting it was the funniest ish ever. On friday, Hope was trying to pry that thing of Steffy's finger...hilarious!

[Miry]

Hahaha, that was the funniest recap of my life.

[Pinky]

Finally, these two looser got their orgasms! Now they can both shut up. How long has Steffy been begging?

Like mother like daughter though. Taylor had no problem accepting Brooke's engagement ring at the fashion show.

Everything about Liam and Steffy, from her being his fathers ex-mistress who miraculously "fell in love with him" the next day after getting dumped by dady to Liam banging the ex-mistress minutes after being dumped by the woman he claims to love so much is too disgusting for words but its classic Bellboy... Cheap and sleazy...