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« Brody Lovett? Brody Lovett! Your Bus Has Finally Arrived! | Main | Now I'm For It! »

October 20, 2011

Evil Doers, Doing Evil. Just Kidding, No One Here Does Anything.

It should be a HUGE warning sign--the warningest of warning signs!--that the most entertaining part of an episode of television was listening to a character, semi-hysterically and with painstaking detail, rehash storylines that took place five years ago.

(And! It wasn't even THAT entertaining, it was just MILDLY entertaining because it involved Spinelli's evening being ruined, which was a richly deserved punishment for basically lying to Maxie and holding her hostage on a boat.

Spinelli: My intention was that we would spend the evening together [...] I didn't see any other way to command your full attention.

You know where I've heard that before? In various Lifetime Movie Network movies with public service announcements about stalking tacked onto the end. That is straight up creepy, and the creepiness isn't lessened by the fact that it's coming from a manchild who speaks gibberish; in fact, that makes it even MORE creepy.)

Of course, that's assuming that...

1.) The powers-that-be at General Hospital would be bored to tears by Wednesday's show.

2.) The powers-that-be at General Hospital actually watch this show, period.

3.) The powers-that-be at General Hospital care about this show's future.

Which don't really be safe assumptions to make. I can picture them watching all breathlessly, "OMG! They don't see Lisa in the corner! And she has a SYRINGE! This is amazing!"

So, yeah. It was so freaking dull Much of the episode ostensibly centered around two of the show's "supervillains" (please picture me saying that with a sneer and an eyeroll; I--spoiler!--actually wrote an upcoming Soap Opera Digest column about how sad the state of villainy in Port Charles is between Anthony, Lisa and Franco) who did absolutely nothing. Because THAT'S entertainment.

The threat of Franco looms large in Hawaii: Jason, Shawn, Sam and Josslyn are tense and worried. Carly...well, she's been reunited with her best friend and as hard as she tries to fake worry, she can't hide her glee.

Jason: Let's just sleep on it and decide the next step in the morning.
Carly: Great! Point me to my bed.
Jason: There's only one.

"I get to room with Jason! I called it! You all heard me, I called it first! I love him best!"

Shawn: I'm really sorry about this.
Sam: Trust me, I know it's not your fault.

Which caused Carly to turn around and give her a slack-jawed stare of shock. "I can't believe you'd imply that it's my fault that Joss and I are here, even though Shawn expressly asked me to stay in Port Charles because it's a huge danger for both of us and because I make problems infinitely worse! What's your problem, McCall?!" "It's Morgan now. "FUCK YOU, IT'S NOT!"

The revellers on the yacht, however, have no idea what kind of pain is going to come their way; they don't even know Lisa is there, lurking in doorways and corners with a wild look in her eye and a syringe at the ready.

Patrick: It's a tough job, and you're doing wonderful.
Robin: What if I want more?
GENERAL HOSPITAL WRITERS: More? Like...to be violently MURDERED?! That can be arranged!
Lisa: [Lurks]

Patrick: I'm content.
Robin: Content?
Patrick: I'm more than content! I'm happy as hell being married to you.
GENERAL HOSPITAL WRITERS: Married to her...for now!
Lisa: [Lurks]

And Anthony made his way on the boat too, impossibly and inexplicably? ...why? How? The story was shaping up to be bad enough without his random ass there, too. I am filled with pre-hatred for this story.

Comments

I agree completely. At the beginning of the show I said "oh no, don't tell me we will see lurking in the background for the whole hour" and that is exactly what happened.

"Spinelli: My intention was that we would spend the evening together [...] I didn't see any other way to command your full attention.

You know where I've heard that before? In various Lifetime Movie Network movies with public service announcements about stalking tacked onto the end. That is straight up creepy, and the creepiness isn't lessened by the fact that it's coming from a manchild who speaks gibberish; in fact, that makes it even MORE creepy.)"

^^ TOO FUNNY!

No mention of the only happening worth mentioning: Liz and Matt nearly kiss. It was adorable.

I'm telling you, I enjoyed Brianna Brown so much more on the two episodes of Homeland.

What an easy day of shooting for Brianna Brown! All she had to do was lurk and not say a line! That's some damn easy money. Though managing to not fall asleep of boredom should be commended.

Is it just me, or are they seriously trolling the boards for anti-Liz dialogue? Because Ethan and Maxie's "she has three different kids by three different men!" (in a town where not one woman has all of her biological children by the same man) and "she walked up sixteen flights of stairs to sleep with Jason" (she was supposed to climb up the side of the building? It was a blackout!) are straight from every anti-Liz screed I've ever read.

What WAS that "and now, spooooooooky things at Wyndemere!" thing? Seriously, they threw in a completely extraneous and purposeless plotline five minutes before the show ended!

Anthony apparently teleported onto the boat. Or he went for a long-distance swim.

The three kids by three different men thing cracks me to no end. I know it all happened very recently (Liz has been pregnant, what five times and is only like thirty) and there was a WTD involved a few times, but c'mon!! Alexis and Carly both have three children by three different men and no one mentions that. I mean, clearly Carly is superior because she drugged her first baby daddy post-sex and three men were potentially the father (one being the stepfather she stole away from her mother for revenge), and a completely different man raised the kid. When you write it down, it makes it clear that Liz climbing up sixteen flights of stairs is way more cray-cray than Carly's wacky hi-jinks. Poor Liz.......
On another note, this boat situation looks like a clear case of a who is going to kill Lisa? Everyone is a suspect! I mean, do Steve, Matt, Liz, and Olivia really have any motive to kill Lisa? Maybe Olivia will kill her for the viewers sake, after we had to witness Johnny/Lisa for so long.......
JaSam literally have had the world's longest, most boring honeymoon ever. I get they are pretty popular and GH is 'trying' to give their fans a honeymoon, but even Carly being Carly doesn't make me want to stay awake. Can GH ever find a happy medium? S&B got no honeymoon, but JaSam have been on their honeymoon for over a month having the same convo and surfing. ZZZZZZ... They make Sonny and NuKate and their Bensonhurst stories seem entertaining (J/K! Nothing makes that entertaining especially without MW's fantastic bob)
This show keeps redefining horrible.......

BN....not just you but to be 100% fair...they've been doing that since Jonathan Jackson's return and they did the 180 on that "hey...you should totally root for Liz to screw Nik for no reason at all" thing. I'm pretty positive most of Lucky's screed that one day was 100% Anti Liz board talk. They've been amping it back up now for reasons I'm not totally sure of but it feels Frons related to me.

Thank you for the WTF re: Spinelli. I can believe the show THINKS this is cute. But I call it kidnapping.

Thank you BN! The continued bashing of Liz is UNPRECEDENTED. I say this as a twenty-five+ year soap viewer. Lucky, Ethan, Luke and Maxie had the SAME conversations disparaging Liz with the SAME dialogue. Completely overboard (pun intended) in the last week. An affair two years ago is still being brought up, three kids by three different fathers and LL2 being described as an addiction. Seriously? The attacks on Liz's character is gratuitous and unnecessary. Apparently, Liz being a responsible mother makes her a whore. Had no children been produced, would she be better than Sam or Maxie or Lulu? Why is Liz's past indiscretions and children's parentage brought up at all? Alexis and Carly have three children by three different fathers and have committed FAR worse crimes than Liz has even contemplated.

The writers want to alienate fans. Rebecca Herbst is very popular, we've grown up with Liz, watched her first love and marriages, and she is most relatable to women watching at home, being a nurse and mother of young children.

Lawd, is Becky Herbst being fired again? All of a sudden, I'm seeing on various GH recaps where Liz is being trashed by Ethan (the product of an affair between Holly and Luke), Maxie (had to use pills to get Lucky into bed), and Luke with his drunk ass who ran over baby Jake? WTF? I wonder if this is payback for the recent JFP guest stint on a radio show where 98% of the questions sent in were from Liason fans?

I actually think BH/Liz is getting more story than she has in a while. I mean, her motivations and actions make no sense at times, but nothing new there.

I too think all this Liz-bashing is Frons related. It makes no sense whatsoever. They have Luke disparaging her even though his drunk ass killed her child and she forgave him. He wasn't arrested and he was given a free pass by the deadbeat enforcer dad. Poor Jake was dead and Luke continued on with his drunken rampage. As mentioned previously, both Carly & Alexis have 3 different kids by 3 different fathers. Everyone fails to mention that. How many babies mamas does Sonny have? Sam has done far more horrific things than Elizabeth has ever thought of doing and now she's wearing a halo. Sonny & Brenda's honeymoon was cut; Jake was murdered, cut up & buried within a week and the most boring honeymoon from hell is lasing months, even though the ratings are 1.7-1.9. It's ridiculous, reeks of agenda and is further proof of the blatant sabotage of GH. The writers are pathetic and the ratings are in the toilet, but well-deserved. Hell Guza could have stayed for all the good it did. I really look forward to GH going to PP. Hopefully none of the writers will be asked to join. After many wonderful memories of GH of old, I'm ready for this tragedy to be over. Frons, JFP and Sweeney has destroyed ABC daytime.

From what I've seen lately, the intent with the onscreen Liz-bashing is to give her back her spine and make her more of a lead. I have a feeling we're gonna see her start fighting back and start really holding her own.

There for a moment, I thought I'd clicked into a really old blog but alas, GH is still just the same shitfest it was weeks ago.

Bags and Bozo are still humping in Hawaii, now being joined by The Screech, The Kidney, and The Token Minority Character. Yippee. Hope Franco takes 'em all out. BTW Spinelli, I'll pay for your ticket if you head on over there, too. Pocket money added if you take Maxie and Matt with you.

If I were Brianna Brown, I'd be praying this time Lurking Lisa is really being killed off, like dead dead. For real. Like Courtney dead.

And Elizabeth is still being bashed? Is it Emmy-reel time again already? My how time flies when its on repeat. Prettiest actress in daytime and they can't give her an actual love story with an actor who looks like a man and playing a character with a bit of humanity. Oh yeah, I forgot. There was no story left to tell.

Those darn thousands of BH fans and their outrage. Instead of watching the Sphincter family trash her, we could be watching more of Happy Humping Honeymoon or Sonny and Kate Make Eight More Stumpies.

Oh, the choices...

Hey, Frons - Chew on those stellar ratings. The Revolution already started. I don't think you're winning it unless viewer disgust and abhorrence was your goal.


What the hell is UP with that boat?? Wasn't it only a three-hour tour? (A fact we were treated to with horridly uncomfortable reference to Olivia and Maryann from Gilligan's Island - GROSS). So between all the sex, skinny dipping and more sex between Robin/Patrick and Olivia/Steve, what was Matt's party, like, four minutes? Or maybe the sex was four minutes. Seems like they've been on this boat for years, though.

Anthony wasn't even WET! What the HELL?? And Liz managed to not drown before being rescued by the mystery man? Wow, she's good.

Am I really in the minority for despising Liz (which I hate myself for that because I've met Becky a few times, and she's CHARMING and lovely and INSANELY gorgeous, even right up close - LOL!), but the character is nauseating and NOT RELATABLE to me, even when my children were small. I know it's the writing and NOT BH. If we're talking the single, working woman thing, I guess, but she spends more time trying to get Lucky to notice her, trying to make sure he doesn't find happiness with ANYONE but her, searching for drug rings in the hospital and blaming a dead woman for ruining her life from the grave (seriously?) that I cheered with joy when zombie Lisa threw her over the boat. Sorry guys. I am all for female characters with a spine (thank you Alexis and Diane - when they show you!) but Liz just comes off as a bitch who didn't get her way. Ugh. I don't deny anyone their right to love their favorite characters, and I will be the first to raise my hand that I ADORED L&L in the 90's, but I'm just over it, I guess.

As for the three kids by three men thing, I think it's Liz's high-and-mighty attitude about it that comes off differently than Carly. Carly knows she's trash - LOL! She doesn't deny it. Liz seems to feel she's above all that, and it just comes off - wrong. I don't know, this is all just my humble opinion!

I love my girl Liz, but Guza was an idiot for writing in two of Becky's three real life pregnancies. It was laziness on Guza's part plain and simple. As for the 3 kids with 3 Daddies? Pffft. Sonny has impregnated Lily, Carly (twice), Olivia, Alexis and Sam (mother and daughter) with Dante, Krissy and Morgan (that we know of!) alive and well living it up in Port Charles. As for Liz's nastiness where Siobhan is concerned, it's payback for Lucky's wife barking out that Liz killed Jake. I was one of those fans hoping to NEVER see LnLtoomany reconcile and for Lucky to run off in the sunset with Siobhan.

I want the Liz before Brian Frons decided the only way that he could get folks to like JaSam 2.0 was to trash her character. Yep, I said it. When a show has to go the lengths of trashing a 14 year old veteran character, firing an actress and killing off her fictional son, then all of the Liz bashing was done to make it easier to get rid of the character which looks like is happening again with the recent 3 babies and 3 Daddy nonsense.

Rene you are not alone. I cant stand Liz!She is insufferable and so BORING! There i said it. So all is good for me :-)

I wish Lisa was successful in getting rid of her.

Dont get me started on Matt. Oh and i miss Siobhan...

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