Generally Uninteresting and Repetitive and Dull And...
It may never win awards for being the "best" show, or the most "well written" show...actually, it has won awards for both of those things which is a depressing fact I think I had tried to repress and which sort of disrupts the flow of this opening sentence. Well! What General Hospital will ALSO win is the award for being the most boring sixty minutes broadcast on network television; at one point today, I remarked (to nobody, which is probably a sign that I am losing it) that the show had been interminable and I didn't know how much longer I'd be able to sit through it.
Then came the mid-show bumper. I cried.
Much of the problem is, of course, that we've seen some iteration of all of these storylines--I probably should have thrown some sarcastic airquotes around that word, huh? Because these are less "storylines" and more "things that happen on an endless loop until the writers get bored or an actor leaves the show"--regularly since the late 90s. I mean, "Sonny feuds with rival crime family?" How freaking novel! "Dante gets shot?" He's only been on the show for two years! Why is he sharing so many scenes with de ja vu?! "Helena lurks around evilly and cackles madly in a story that's going to get forgotten in about eight days?" Been there, done that, Constance Towers is too good for this. "Michael is the worst?" It's a day that ends in -y!
All I'm saying is that I need something to happen. And right now, the only thing happening is my blood pressure rising whenever Michael appears onscreen, either barking orders or attempting to glower through puppy dog eyes. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have a television nemesis now that Ryan Lavery is (temporarily) out of my life, but I wish SOMETHING else would happen on this show besides me getting annoyed and, I have to admit, developing an almost-crush on Ronnie.
Ronnie: You want to do yourself a favor, kid? Cooperate with the PCPD. Despite what you've been told your whole life, we're actually not the enemy.
Michael: Then why don't you do your job and find out who shot my brother.
Ronnie: Your father may think he's untouchable, but we already know you're not. You want to play games with me? I assure you, you will lose.
Did no one else have the urge to write his name on their Trapper Keeper?!