It's a Mystery (And Not Just The Ongoing "Why Do I Still Watch?" Mystery)!
It's a tried and true soap trope: hated character is KILLED and everybody has a MOTIVE. Someone is ARRESTED and put on TRIAL and then it turns out that the real killer was a DAYPLAYER. I think we know exactly what we're going to be seeing on General Hospital over the next few weeks or, god forbid, months, depending on how long it takes the writers to get distracted.
Lisa is missing and probably murdered, although I am wary of making any pronouncements on how we are finally rid of her; the show adores Dr. Niles so much that I wouldn't put it past them to kill her off and then bring her back as a zombie. The party yacht is basically a boat of horrors, with dead bodies strewn about and some people grappling with memory loss while others have bizarre wounds. The shockingly inept PCPD (seriously, shouldn't it be fairly easy to distinguish between blood and nail polish? Although it should be fairly easy to at least mimic basic human speech DELORES, so maybe I am just expecting too much) is on the scene to find clues, which they will then interpret in the most insane way imaginable before arresting someone completely random.
To be fair, all of the guests DO look ridiculously guilty.
- Robin fought with Lisa, violently, and then blacked out. Conveniently, she can't remember anything that happened after their tussle! Also conveniently, she spent much of the episode discussing, repeatedly, her desire to see Lisa dead and how fervently she wanted to kill her, which I am sure will come into play when it turns out that, in addition to all sorts of chemical weaponry, Lisa also smuggled recording devices onto the boat and Robin is on tape saying all of these things that will be played at her eventual murder trial.
- Patrick, like his wife, had plenty of reason to want Lisa out of his life for good, preferably in a body bag (do you think the two of them are seriously regretting not letting Sonny handle this particular problem?). He seems awfully convinced that she's gone forever and will never, ever, EVER return, which makes me think that he saw her body, assumed that Robin killed her, and got rid of the evidence to protect his wife.
- Steve has mysterious scratches all over his face and an unbelievably cover story ("I scratched it on the ladder when I was getting out of the pool"? Why is this ladder covered with claws?!). Plus, he had some angry words about Lisa when he learned the extent of her crazy.
Steve: You don't even have to say anything. I am done giving that bitch the benefit of the doubt.
Yeah! He is DONE! A full year after her reign of terror started, after numerous attempted murders and hostage-taking and Spinelli shootings; those were all misunderstandings. NOW, he is done with her! Done enough to commit murder?! Who knows/cares?!
- Matt is wasted and spent most of the trip in an alcohol fueled stupor. Would I put it past the writers to have another mystery end with the culprit being revealed as a drunken mess? No, no I would not.
I suppose that Olivia doesn't really have much of a motive and probably isn't going to be really involved in a meaningful way (plus, there's no way she'd go to jail; the writers have to keep her in Port Charles to annoy me indefinitely). And all of this is a moot point anyway, because it's almost definitely Anthony Zacchara who did it. It's the easy way out, you know? He hates Lisa, and he's all crazy and violent, so...
In between Bensonhurst reminiscing and uncomfortable, awkward rehashing of their relationship and their kisses (yes! I know, I totally missed the part when it was explained that Kate suffered severe brain damage during her time offscreen), Sonny reacted...poorly to two topics of conversation: Brenda and Jax.
Kate: Getting a woman you lost to want you again to lessen the sting of losing Brenda.
Sonny: Why do you have to bring her up all the time? That's a subject I don't want to talk about.
Kate: That's exactly why we need to talk about it.
Sonny: I love how women think. That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, why would Kate bring up the woman you are currently MARRIED to and thought of (/think of? As much as he thinks about anything, I mean) as the love of your life? That's just weird! Women, amirite? Always wanting to "talk" and have "feelings". Bitches be crazy!
Kate: You seem oddly disinterested.
Sonny: I've had...such, you know what?...I've had such a...I've...had enough of Jax to last two lifetimes! Whatever happened...[...]...happened.
Kate: Have you even tried to find out the truth.
Sonny: Because you hit the nail on the head. I'm not that interested.
Where on earth are you two morons seeing disinterest? Sonny darkens as soon as you say Jax's name and he was visibly seething with rage. There was angry spittle!
Elizabeth update: she's alive! Not that anybody really cares; her brother certainly doesn't. Oh, sure, he mentioned her once or twice, but it was always in between breathless worry about Olivia and he didn't seem TOO concerned about her. But she's okay-ish! Spinelli found her unconscious and she woke up and tried to piece together what happened and gave me the one truly enjoyable moment of the episode.
Elizabeth: You took me out of the water, right? You carried me. (Has a flashback to a man's very well defined torso)...no, it wasn't you.