Sexual Harassment? More Like Sexual HA!-rassment.
If it weren't for Patrick and Robin being at least ten times cuter than cute (seriously, how freaking charming were those two today? I know that their adorable bliss is a setup for what is sure to be an overlong and uninteresting story regarding Lisa's thirst for revenge and Patrick, but for once I decided not to do the pessimism thing and just focused on the cute present. I mean, even Epiphany was adorable, lighting the candle in the mangled cake. EPIPHANY! It's like the cute was contagious), a Cam sighting and the possibility of Carly being hilariously inappropriate and obnoxious in a Hawaiian setting (like, will she bring a swimsuit and try her best to seduce Jason? Or interrogate them on whether or not they consummated their marriage? I hope so), I probably would have had an actual rage blackout. Which is embarrassing because seriously, why do I let General Hospital get to me?! BECAUSE IT IS TERRIBLE AND OFFENSIVE, IS WHY!
Anthony: I made [the deal] in good faith: a night of passion in exchange for my silence.
Tracy: I didn't make a deal. I was coerced.
Anthony: Such an ugly word!
Tracy: So is blackmail, and that's exactly what you did. Either I sleep with you or you turn me in to the SEC, but newsflash: you are not touching me. i made it in good faith a night of passion in ex for my Anthony: Your lips say one thing, but the fact that you're here tells me everything I need to know.
Anthony, getting progressively angrier as the sentence goes on: A night of passion insures my silence about you funnelling dirty money into ELQ. It's clean and simple!
On most other shows, this would be seen as something horrible and disgusting, because it's awful on basically every single level (not least because it is an enormous waste of Jane Elliot, but that's sadly typical for GH). This show, though? Brought us the twinkly music of zaniness. You know the one, the maddening music the show plays to let us know, "Hey, you probably can't even hear this over the sound of your hysterical laughter, but this music means that wacky stuff is going down!". The music that I hate. That music. I rage.