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« Dialogue Neither Bold Nor Beautiful | Main | We Must Galvanize The Fight: Better Health Insurance Plans For Strippers! »

October 16, 2011

The Honeymoon From Hell

It sounds like the setup for a joke, doesn't it? "So, a honeymooning couple, a mercenary, a nutbar, an artist whose canvas is MURDER and a baby all go to Hawaii..."

And I suppose it IS a joke. It's just that the joke is on us, because I'm sure that this story will go the ways of the other stories currently unfolding on General Hospital: it will go boringly (Exhibit A: literally, anything currently happening on this show but for example's sake, let's say Lulu's newfound "drinking problem" and whining over how some marriages end in divorce) and, probably, skeevily (Exhibit B: Ethan's uncomfortable "What do you have to say about this, love?" the the portrait of Laura. Step off, mate!). There will be hardly any real entertainment and very many homoerotic moments between Jason and Franco, who will probably change from a lei to an even more menacing grass skirt. So, you know...yawn.

We DID get some quality Carly, however, as she could simply not contain her giddiness about interrupting Sam and Jason's honeymoon to warn him of danger. The danger she is willingly--and excitedly-- walking into. With her child. Because that's what good mothers and sane people do!

Carly: I'm scared. Shawn, I'm scared. I'm scared about what's going on in Hawaii. Jason would not just ignore my calls.
Shawn: Well, how about the guy's on a honeymoon and isn't taking calls from the woman who keeps getting in between him and the woman who is now his wife?

"That's exactly what I MEAN, Shawn! What if he's not taking my calls because he's having sex with Sam? Gag me with a spoon, amirite?"

The woman is INSANE, spending half of her time talking breathlessly about how worried she is for Jason and spending the other half all giddy, planning the zany things she will say and do to get Jason's attention and have a laugh at how it's just Carly being Carly.

Shawn: But I need you to play by the rules for once. Can you do that?
Carly:
I will do my best.
Shawn: No, no. Not good enough.
Carly: That's all I got.
Joss: Joss

Joss: Shady Pines, ma.

And yet Shawn still trusts her to stay alone in a hotel while he goes off to check on Jason! I am pretty sure Mr. Morgan isn't the only one here with brain damage.

Comments

Poor Joss, she already knows her Mom is the worst ever! But I think she meant to say Shady Brook? Shady Pines is the nursing home on Golden Girls :-). But I love the idea of this adorable toddler threatening her Mother with Shady Brook the same way Dorothy threatened Sofia with Shady Pines very time she pissed her off, hilarious.

Thanks Mallory, your blogs are still the best part of GH.

I think Friday's episode may have done it for me--there was simply nothing worth watching. Does anyone at ABC watch this crap? Why has GW picked up every bad storyline Guza left him?

Is there anyone who watches this show who finds the Franco storyline even partially entertaining?

And don't get me started on Lisa Niles, who after months in a coma has not a problem walking, swinging wooden boards or standing in the middle of a hospital for all to see, only no one spots her.

This stuff isn't even good enough for online.

Joss was definitely the best part of GH on Friday. She's the epitome of the GH viewer, looking on in confusion and resignation, and hopefully having a delicious snack on hand to counteract the pain.

Robin and Lulu did look cute too though.

I don't have anything to say about this mundane episode, but I'm curious to know if anyone here plans on covering Dirty Soap.

So, this is what's happening with Joss as a follow-up to the custody battle? The one where viewers were told that her father is From The Devil for thinking that Carly's obsessive ties to mobsters put Joss in danger and therefore Joss should not live with Carly? Really Show? Really?

I'm just curious to see if James Franco looks more awake than he did when he was hosting the Academy Awards, where he looked one pharmaceutical shy of totally unconscious. Will his eyes be rolling in their sockets like pinballs? One has to find ways to entertain oneself while watching GH, in the most unlikely ways.

Honeymoon from Hell is suppose to last all during November sweeps. Go Carly!

I find it truly sad that S&B taped several honeymoon scenes for their fans and GH chose to leave them on the cutting room floor. What a waste of money. No wonder GH is always over budget.

I'm saddened that Sonny & Brenda's honeymoon was cut too. And then we get this, and it looks as if it's going to last FOREVER. What TIIC have done to GH is tragic.

Ha, Sarah, I totally meant it to be a Golden Girls shoutout (I make one at least every day). I forgot that the GH nuttery ALSO starts with Shady!

I, too, am disappointed that we didn't see any of Sonny and Brenda's honeymoon. And for me to say that, it's pretty shocking! But I think a day of Sam and Jason's honeymoon could have been cute and fun. This, though? Ridiculous and boring.

Sanen85, I will probably do a catchup post on Dirty Soap! Life has been hectic lately so it hasn't been a regular feature but I DO have plenty to say about it...

I am so happy that Carly is coming to Hawaii. This honeymoon is so damn boring and I spend majority of my time wondering who the hell is this guy we call Jason. Because he sure as hell is not the Jason I use to know. He sees those spiveys, notice they don't match anything in that shack's (and yes its a shack)decor but yet he follows behind Sam with the whole 'renters or owners must have left them'. Like who is this guy who no longer thinks for himself and does everything that Sam tells him too. Can the real Jason Morgan please stand up?

Like even if GH can't show it, they could at least convince us that Jason has went and discovered things about this island. Jason has always been sold as a character that reads travel books and when he gets the opportunity travels to these places to learn about them. So he's in Hawaii and all he can do is sit on his ass and surf because that's all Sam wants to do. Like who is this man? Why is he doing everything she wants to do without even voicing something that he wants to do? And yes I know that they have been to that island before because you know unlike Robin who likes to try new things (I don't even like scrubs and applauded that limo scene..romantic with Patty pulling out the many trips they are going to take), Sam is just stuck on doing SSDD. And they wonder why some of us find this damn couple boring.

I'm convinced that Guza is still writing this show from a bunker somewhere deep beneath ABC studios. After some initial hope, I don't see much difference in the quality of the writing.

Janet B.,
I don't see much difference either, except at the very beginning. I sometimes wonder why they even bothered replacing Guza if the new HW is going to follow the same basic, deeply flawed premise.

@ Linda - Garin Wolf is cheaper than Bob Guza. That's the only reason Wolf has the job. ABC wants out of the soap game and erodes the audience before shipping it off to PP. A smaller audience justifies ABC's move to out of soaps. Argh.

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