Everyone Here Is Fluent In Crazy
I have two theories.
The first theory is that the next non-sweeps non-event that General Hospital will be bringing to us is the tale of an epidemic: a strain of particularly contagious and serious mental illness, the first symptom of which is saying things that are off the wall BONKERS.
The second theory is that the writers don't care even a little bit about the show that they are writing for (why should they? They have the most secure jobs on this planet. They have literally burned an American institution to the ground--I know it seems like I am misusing the word literally, but they actually did set fire to General Hospital--and continue to draw paychecks). "But didn't we just...?" "Yeah, so?" "But..." "Hasn't anyone ever told you to think outside the box? Continuity's the box, dude. The box can go to hell!"
I think the latter is more likely, although the former is both ridiculous and medically implausible enough to appeal to this particular writing staff.
It's not that the show's failure to maintain a consistent theme from day-to-day or scene-to-scene, even, is a new development. It's just...I hate it.
The most egregious crazy, and the one that had me the most concerned about the likelihood of a mass brain damage story, was Monica's crazy. I didn't even want to discuss it, because it's the kind of horror that should really be repressed and also, I didn't want to give the powers-that-be the chance to say "Hey, we googled Quartermaine + hate + worst + never again, and look what we found? It's a good thing we already killed the rest of them off; it's what the fans wanted!". But...it was so, so crazy.
After Lucky sensed that Aiden was in danger and begged a reluctant (and disgusting) Luke to bring him to GH--well, immediately after that, everybody went completely off the rails and spent 60 minutes talking to themselves or ghosts or paintings. But after THAT, Aiden was admitted to GH and Monica took one look at the bruises on his body and came to the conclusion that Elizabeth is an abusive whore. No, really: she basically said she's a neglectful mother who killed Jake and also, what a slut, amirite?
Steve: My sister would never raise a hand to her children.
Monica: Well, I'm talking more about neglect. Elizabeth is not the most mindful of parents.
Steve: If you're suggesting --
Monica: I'm suggesting that she wasn't paying attention when Jake walked out that door.
Steve: She was distracted for a second. It happens to everyone.
Monica: Especially when you let other people take care of your kids most of the time!
Only on this show is putting your children in daycare considered a greater sin than being a hired killer.
Really, though! How hateful, on basically every single level. I know that Monica is grieving for the grandson she never knew and it is reasonable for her to have issues about that, but this is not the way to deal with those issues!
Elizabeth: No, no, no, no. H-he needs me. As a mother, you understand that, right?
Monica: Uh, don't -- don't play the mother card with me.
Elizabeth: What? Oh, my god, are you still angry over Jake?
Monica: Uh, yes, I am, but I am not using my grief as an excuse to latch onto a married man.
Elizabeth: How dare you. I will be grieving for the loss of my son every day for the rest of my life. You of all people should understand how that feels.
Monica: Well, it isn't the first time that you have been a victim for Jason.
Elizabeth: Monica, it was the fever!
Monica: I'm just saying that he is now married to Sam. Don't get in the way.
What in the name of WHAT?!
Then there was Olivia and Kate, who are experiencing some serious memory lapses. After weeks of pressuring Kate to save Sonny from himself, because she's the only one who really knows him*, Olivia decided to warn her cousin that she is headed down a dangerous road. When Kate called her out on this sudden reversal, Olivia said "I am changing my mind for storyline-dictated reasons". No, she actually said that what she wanted was for Kate to TALK to Sonny, not get romantic with Sonny, as if Sonny has ever exhibited the ability to talk and listen and not try to get into a woman's pants before. Right.
Then they talked a lot about their reinvented past in Bensonhurst and it didn't even accidentally become interesting.
*She's still on that, too.
Olivia: Okay, Connie**, listen. I'm not saying that Sonny doesn't have real, true feelings for you. I really think he does. In fact, I think you know him better than anybody in the world
I think about three dozen ex-flames of Sonny who have also been described as "knowing him better than anybody in the world" would beg to differ, Liv.
**It makes me irrationally angry when she calls Kate Connie, like changing your name (especially in a town like Port Charles, where so few people are known by their birth name!) is almost as great a sin as putting your child in daycare.
Maggie: What do you think I'm gonna do, snatch the baby and run to another hospital?
Steve: You mean like you did in Memphis?
Beg pardon, what?!
Memphis should seriously consider suing this show for slander, because GH is doing nothing to make me want to visit, between what seems to be incredibly lax security at their hospitals and the darkness of whatever dark deed Steve did when he was there.
Then there is Michael, who is one of the craziest in Port Charles (and one of the most irksome and the most terrible and the most profoundly unlikable), perhaps because his brain is starting to crumble under the weight of the horrible things that have happened to him. The most insane thing about him is, obviously, his single-minded drive to become a mobster despite the mob lifestyle robbing him of years of his life and some brain matter, but the rest of him is crazy, too. Like the way he is downright gleeful talking to Carly about her relationship with Shawn.
Michael: Shawn was hired for security, Mom, not sex.
Carly: Ashamed of what?
Michael: Last time I checked, you were married to Jax.
I am trying to imagine a circumstance in which I would ever be comfortable discussing my mother's sex life with her, and even THINKING about having such a conversation is making me want to swallow a fistful of barbituates and wail "Goodbye, cruel world". But this would-be/should-be psych patient willingly brings it up? I gag.
When Sonny joined this completely inappropriate conversation, the gagging continued.
Carly: It feels good to start from scratch.
Sonny: I'm sure it feels good, but don't expect me to jump on that, uh, bodyguard train.
Declining a threesome before you've even been invited to participate is pretty bold, no? But Sonny's never been shy about having a high opinion of himself.