I'm So Sorry That You're Sorry!
When we last left the good people of Port Charles (sarcasm, obviously) (the "good" was intended to be sarcastic, but the "people" part could be considered snarky as well since I'm reasonably sure that, based on on facial expressions and vocal inflections, there are numerous cyborgs/robots/pieces of wood carved to look like humans residing in town), the writers treated us to a few cliffhangers filled with DRAMA and also, HATRED: Jason, after simmering with rage for the better part of an hour, threw a tantrum and a table festooned with a holiday smorgasbord. Kate urged Sonny to face his Deke demons--I don't know if you've picked up on this, but Sonny had a traumatic childhood. He doesn't like to talk about it, though and the writers follow suit, treating it with their usual subtlety and by that, I mean that they may as well have captions under Sonny that say "TORTURED SOUL" and "CLAUSTROPHOBIC" and "SAD FACE :'("--and they stared at the brownstone, nuzzling cheeks. Lulu continued her descent into alcoholism by finishing a glass of wine (Have mercy!) and making conversation with a turkey while Dante collapsed in an alley.
Did you spend the weekend eagerly wondering what came next? No, of course you didn't. But maybe, at 2:58, you thought to yourselves, "Oh, right. I wonder what's going to happen with that...?"
Nothing will happen with that. Nothing. Those stories are so yesterday, you guys, and instead of leading to any real drama, they just led to a recap-heavy episode where we saw Sam and Jason talking about his tantrum (don't worry, guys--Michael is okay! Because that's what had me worried! Not the image of Edward bursting into sad old man tears. No, Michael!), and Sonny and Kate screaming at each other and talking about having sex, which I thought they did not have, in a deli, and Dante and Lulu talking about how Dante collapsed in an alley after she brought him back to their loft. Not the hospital--their loft. What the what? Plus, we got some tantalizing glimpses of the Scorpio-Drake Thanksgiving and it was adorable, albeit adorably off-camera. Did the show skip an episode, or does the show just not care?
And while I am asking questions with obvious answers, have you ever seen anything like the show's treatment of Sam's assault? No, you have not. This story is not about Sam; Kelly Monaco has been giving it her all, but she's a supporting player in her own drama. What really matters is Jason and how HE'S coping.
Sam: I'm sorry.
Jason: For what?
Sam: For pushing you to spend Thanksgiving with your family.
Sam: You have to stop blaming yourself.
Sam: I've never seen you like this.
Jason: I'm angry! That's just it. I'm mad. It's got nothing to do with the surgery. I'm sorry. What I have to deal with is nothing compared to what you went through.
Sam: That's not true.
Maybe it's a good thing that General Hospital doesn't see much screentime, because I can just imagine scenes where cancer patients visit Jason to make sure that he's doing okay.