One Life to Live films its final episode at ABC Studios tomorrow, and it's a good thing I have plans all day and night because you otherwise might be seeing my name in the papers tomorrow with a headline like, "Strange Weepy Hysterical Lunatic Woman in Blue Shirt Hurls Self Through Window of UWS Television Studio" (I'm just assuming I'll be wearing blue, I wear a lot of blue, you guys). So that on top of stupid mean rumors today about maybe OLTL not going online after all (rumors, not confirmed right now so I'm not treating it real-like yet) just leaves me utterly unable to mock or speak critically about this show right now because shit, y'all, I love this damn show and I have for more than a quarter century. So take that disclaimer and understand why I just don't have the energy today to complain about how gross Ford is or how they're deliberately trying to hurt me by delaying the clearly necessary Todd and Blair reunion.
So let's just talk about what was just great about our beloved show today.
- Shane went to sleepaway camp in November.
- Alex Olanov is back in our worlds. And she's totally Cutter's mom.
- Roxy exists. I couldn't love her more. Since always. (Remember when we all thought Morris was a beaver? Huh.) (Oh. If you follow that link, I warn you that there will be wistfulness on the other end.)
- Roxy and Nigel finally got some closure on their "relationship." (Oh, I wish she could also get some closure with ex-husband Max!)
- Nigel and Clint exist.
- Ryder made an appearance. I know their little twins playing Liam are their goldmine, but it was nice to see Ryder!
- Roxy (of course) noticed that Jessica was doing the Walk of Shame, by turning up in the same outfit she'd been wearing the night before. I don't remember Roxy having seen Jessica the night before, but the night before aired in, like, August, so it's all good.
- A bone to pick with Viki, who still has my heart: Brody didn't know that John was Liam's father "all along." Not even close. But she more than made up for that error today with all her loving family time.
- Clint and Shane bonded a little. Finally! I knew these two would be great together. (And it included fond discussion of their mutual knowledge of Nat's temper!)
- Pretty much every single character who spoke of Brody today actually managed to muster up some compassion for his situation.
- I do not care for Destiny being pregnant, but Shaun is going to her Lamaze classes with her. ADORABLE. And Shaun refers to the baby as "Little Little D."
- John, for once, didn't send Natalie home to go be a woman while he runs off to do manly things like find children!
It was a pretty lovely episode. And particular kudos to Melissa Salmons, who was today's scriptwriter and gave us tons of great dialogue (both moving and hilarious). I'd sit here and quote a bunch of it, but it would take all night. What were some of your favorites?
I'll start it off with:
Nigel: Alas, my nun-chucks weren't handy.
Clint: Nigel, you're a member of the family. And the sooner you start thinking about that, the better. We let you carry a tray around just to humor you.
Roxy: (about Nat) I think she's a leader. She likes to be in charge. I think she gets that from you, Vik.
Viki: Well, I'll tell ya. She gets her resilience from you.
Viki: Her ability to bounce back. Whatever it takes, you know.
Roxy: So between the two of us, I think we made a good kid.
Viki: Yeah, Roxy, we did.
Alex: (to Gigi, about Cutter) Your boyfriend is as polite as you are.
Gigi: He's not my boyfriend.
Alex: Well, he's very good-looking. You might want to rethink that.
Shane: (after Clint refers to him as a Buchanan) I'm a Morasco.
Clint: (touching his heart) So am I. But we're both Buchanans, too.
Cutter: (about Alex) Oh my God. That woman, she's my Mom.
What were your favorites today?