Paging Andrew Carpenter
I don't know about you guys, but I was half-hoping Andrew Carpenter would come back to officiate every wedding One Life to Live has until its final ABC air date (because we have to assume this won't be the last wedding of the home stretch, right?), so I'm a little bummed right now. There's still time, right? (Here's something I keep reminding myself of when I get sad or when I get anxious about how time is being used: OLTL still has more episodes left than there were in the final three seasons of Friday Night Lights. And do you know what helps you get through life? Using FNL as the normative something-or-other to compare everything to, especially if you can work Tim Riggins into the simile somehow. I find conjuring up a mental image of Tim Riggins can help me through almost any situation.) (Well, any first-world situation.)
They tried to torture me with all the cuteness again today, with the little baby talking to the little dog in voices provided by Michael Easton and Andrea Evans, which really is a ridiculously adorable conceit. I know some people thought it was way too silly last time, but honestly if I had a choice between Stagi's misadventures, Fords At The Gym, or a baby and a dog voiced by major soap actors, I'm picking the baby and the dog every time.
If I could get a serious guarantee that they'd be as well-behaved as these two, I'd totally go to the store and buy a baby and a dog tomorrow afternoon. (My own dog is illiterate, so these words cannot hurt her. She's cuter than both of those wee ones put together, but as for behavior? Not so much.)
Oh, and wardrobe didn't get my memo.
Does Jessica have a day job as a steel worker we don't know about? Oh, that Jess. She's a maniac. (Oops, did I accidentally cut someone out of that screencap? Oopsie! TOTAL ACCIDENT.) (We're not going to talk about that character's scenes in this episode. I can't keep my lunch down while typing about it.)
So, can we revisit how awesome Tina is again? She was so cute today wrangling the dog and talking to the munchkin.
I'll give credit where credit is due and I love watching people learn from their mistakes. Tina's last return was such an unmitigated disaster and such a dishonor to the character (and the actress) and this return has really been full of classic Tina and really letting her have real agency and a huge heart! TODAY WAS THE BIG DAY, Y'ALL. The truth came out, the wedding got interrupted, Natalie found out John really is Liam's father, and Brody got exposed, all in one fell swoop. Because of Tina. I might have gotten a little choked up by that. After all this dragging on for months and months and months, Tina found that effing piece of paper and what did she do? Did she wait four months or four episodes or four hours? No! She marched that piece of paper down to the church and made shit happen right away. And in vintage Tina fashion! She busted up that wedding, breathily asking, "Am I too late?" and even Cord acknowledged that callback.
I know! Cord, she's incorrigible! Don't you love her? (Yes, he does. He does!)
And this time instead of carrying a little baby in her arms, she was carrying her pup:
Bless that woman's heart. For this version and that version.
Anyway, so Natalie dumped Brody at the altar for his lies (as we knew she would since she's not into him to begin with and this is more a liberation than a betrayal for her), and I would say that I thought it was a little too quick and easy that Natalie immediately knew that Brody had known the truth for a long time, when he pretty easily could have pretended it was news to him and she would've looked pretty bad dumping him just because he doesn't share DNA with her son, but you know what? It happened like this and that means IT'S OVER, y'all! The truth is out! Sweet mercy, the truth is out! It's finally over! I mean, it's not over, I guess Natalie still has to go declare love and paternity to John at the airport and Brody still has to live out his Crazy Eyes in some manner, but at least it's all finally in motion. Thanks in no part to Brody, Ford, or Jessica, but entirely thanks to Tina!!
And I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised by Natalie's reaction. Brody pointed out that she'd lied to John about paternity as well (he didn't mention that she'd lied to him too, which was decent of him not to be too nanny-nanny-boo-boo about it) and she told him she thought they'd all learned from that. I mean, I'm not new so I'm aware we've hardly seen the last time Natalie gets stuck in a lie that never ends, but I was afraid she'd call him names and get super self-righteous about it in a way that wouldn't make sense considering what she'd done -- but she just really laid it out pretty matter-of-factly without lambasting him as a horrible person or anything. Sure, easy to do when you're actually relieved not to "have" to marry the guy, but it was still way better than I'd thought it would be. Especially in the face of the Crazy Eyes.
Have I mentioned: It's over, it's over, the truth is finally out!
I'm going to go throw a mini-party to celebrate all this with my non-mutt not-very-well-behaved doggie.