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« Second Verse, Same As The First (Depressing and Off Key) | Main | Paging Andrew Carpenter »

November 13, 2011

The Mind of a Non-Mutt (Despite What They Call Her)

Princess David Vickers has a few things to say. And she said a few of them on Friday, but I'm going to do a little extrapolation on what else she would have said had she been given the chance to do so.


"Cousin Natalie, you look pretty miserable for a bride-to-be on her wedding day. There's something I think you may not realize for some bizarre reason: Uh, nobody's forcing you to marry a man you don't want to marry. You do realize that a child's paternity does not morally oblige to you a man? Like, at all? Not even the dog world?"


"Oh em gee, Mom, you look so pretty." 


"Oh, hopefully-future-step-uncle and aunt-in-law, you two may spend way too much time being smug and self-righteous, but your love for each other makes you an awful lot more likable. And you're so cute when you dance! Woof! Plus it was pretty darn magnanimous of Nora to give Clint such a warm welcome at the wedding."


"Nobody's cuter than my Aunt Viki, though!"


"Why does everyone keep effing calling me a mutt and a mongrel? Do I look to you like I'm not pure-bred?"



"That Roxy lady has some serious headdress action going on. It's kind of awesome. I might eat it later."


"That'd be super-neat if Cord and Brody could be good white-hat buddies, except Brody's white hat is totally dirtied up lately by the fact that he's being a crazy-eyed dick these days."


"I ain't never met a door that's a match for the likes of me! Opposable thumbs who."


"Cousin Natalie has Two Mommies. I think someone read me that book in puppy school, it was supposed to teach me... something."


"So uh... is this gonna be, like, the longest wedding ever? If this dude is single after all this, I'll take him! Wait, why would anybody not want this guy? Humans are fucking weird."


Princess David Vickers out!



Don't you just love PDV?

Natalie has set women back 100 years in going forward with marrying a man that she obviously is not in love with as she pines for dickhead McBain.

PDV tells the TRUTH! And she is not a mutt! She is purebred all the way, thankyouverymuch!

I like Cord and Brody. Too bad Cord will be morally obligated to punch him out very soon. *sigh* But PDV better get in line, because I'M getting him once he's single! I don't care if his hat's white, blue, black, or chartreuse!


A spin-off of One Life to Live focusing on the secret lives of Princess David Vickers and Sam Manning. They look so cute and innocent, but what nobody knows is that at night, they secretly escape from their homes and are a crime-fighting duo. They always manage to make it back by morning and nobody ever suspects them. Liam, Ryder, Hope, and Bree could show up occasionally, and Princess David Vickers could pee on Jack once in a while. Other than that, though, just Sam and Princess David Vickers. I would watch that. Just imagine those two in masks and capes!!!

Okay, I really have to stop posting here at one in the morning....

I am SO glad I was home sick on Friday so that I can appropriately appreciate this brilliance.

LOL, Louise! After everything that happened Friday, the one thing that pissed me off was the continual use of Mutt. Princess David Vickers is not a mutt and I was mad on her behalf.

I flove that pup!

On thing that CRACKS ME UP is that this little dog is SOOOOO WELL-BEHAVED, so all the actors have to go OVER THE TOP playing that she's so "BAAAAAD" to compensate for what a darling she is!

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