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« Gondolas: The Gift That Keeps On Giving | Main | Can We Get To It Already (or Victodd's Moonlighting) »

November 06, 2011

This Part of New York Is In The Deja Vu Time Zone

I would have been absolutely HORRIBLE during the olden-days. This was first hinted at during elementary school, where I was completely incapable of succeeding at Oregon Trail, instead dying in numerous and embarrassing ways and was driven home at the end of this past week when I practically flung myself, sobbing, at my cable box when television and internet service was finally restored after the huge New York/Connecticut outages following the freak October snowstorm (can I just say? This extreme weather is extremely worrisome to me. Snow in October knocks entire counties out, I had no power during Hurricane Irene AND there was an earthquake that, if I am being honest, I didn't actually feel, but still, it happened! I fear that soap writers will seize upon this weather weirdness for future sweeps stories. "We need to trap all of these people in a room together in May. But how? I know: MAY BLIZZARD! Hey, it could happen!"). I wanted to hug it and pet it and coo at it to never leave me again. Please note that I did not do any of those things but, in the throes of technology deprivation, I seriously contemplated it.

Obviously, no television means no soaps which means no soap blogging on my end (Louise has been bringing the brilliance all week, as always, when it comes to One Life to Live and The Bold and the Beautiful) which means a decidedly un-fun and depressing weekend spent catching up on a week's worth of soaps. It's been a slog. And I sort of cheated, because I watched Friday's episode of General Hospital first. I wanted to know if there was light at the end of this week's tunnel, you know? Like, maybe something fun and exciting that would set the tone for the coming weeks? And there was! It lasted, like, a second and a half, but Kristina's goodbye dinner was very sweet and I am going to miss Lexi Ainsworth very much, but the family fun was pretty delightful.

Too bad it was canceled out by, um, everything. Which, adding insult to injury, is nothing we have not seen before, repeatedly.

There was Carly marking her territory and acting with extreme hostility and attempted seductiveness when a man in her life pays a minute of attention to another woman. I am usually entertained to no end by the possessive, mouthy Carly, but this iteration leaves me cold. Partly because Shawn is so freaking dull and partly because if we keep going down this road on a monthly basis, we're soon going to be getting scenes of Carly acting like a jealous shrew when she sees someone talking to the FedEx delivery guy.

Carly: Hi, I'm Carly Jacks. I was with Shawn in Hawaii. You are...?
Shawn: Carly--
Renelle: I got this. Hello, I'm Renelle.

"Renelle? That's a slut's name if I ever heard one".

Renelle: What were you and Shawn doing in Hawaii?
Shawn: It was work.
Carly: If you want to call drinking on the beach work!
Shawn: It was a bit of an overstatement.
Carly: Have you ever been to Hawaii?
Renelle: A few years ago. Had a lot of fun.
Carly: Where Shawn and I stayed, it was just beautiful. We had a 1 bedroom shack right on the beach. Renelle: That's funny. I've never seen you drink tequila. Never seen you with anything but a beer.
Carly: Shawn's pretty guarded. It's amazing what he'll share with you if you just know how to get it out of him...

"I know how to get it out of him: with my vagina".

We also had one of General Hospital's favorite recurring themes: incest! During their never-ending point/counterpoint Claudia Zacchara: Saint or Psycho? (which has me tense and worried that Claudia will one day return to wreak more havoc on Port Charles; her planned havoc failed regularly and spectacularly, but her unintentional havoc, namely the pain she brought to me personally, scarred me deeply), Johnny and Anthony both made comments about the dearly departed madwoman that hint at feelings that are illegal, immoral, and icky. Disturbing as all of the following is--and oh, it is disturbing--I've come to expect it from the Zaccharas. Inappropriate relationships and sexual tension have been one of their defining traits over the years.

Johnny: She loved me and you sent her away!
Anthony: You two were unnaturally close! I had to put distance between you before you became fixated on her in a way that's unhealthy.

Uh, your plan was less than a rousing success, dude.

Anthony: You didn't know Claudia like I did.
Johnny: Why did you hate her so much? You acted like she wasn't even your daughter.
Anthony: Oh, she was my daughter, all right. More than you know. More than you'll ever know.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? I AM PRE-GAGGING RIGHT NOW.

And then, of course, the episode ended with the very real threat of Sam being sexually violated by Franco. Of course. OF COURSE. Kelly Monaco has been sexually menaced by nearly every villain that's traipsed through Port Charles and when you consider that Port Charles is a den of sin and a hotbed of murder, that is a whole lot of menacing. But this time is totally different, guys!! An Oscar-nominated actor is doing the violating AND Jason is being forced to watch the whole thing. This year's Outstanding Drama Emmy must already have this show's name engraved on it.

"Can't wait" for next week!

Comments

I really feel for you. I had to go three days with no TV, phone (landline OR cell), or Internet and I nearly had a mental breakdown. Also, I'm fairly certain this is the only time anyone in NY has ever had a snow day on Halloween. And to think just last week, GH had Steve and Olivia skinny dipping and Maxie in a skimpy little dress in a harbor in upstate NY...

GH is such a vile and nasty soap. Why in the world would you use an Oscar nominated actor who "wanted" to do a soap as a potential rapist? Why? Franco has spent the last two years wanting to get into Jason's boxers and since he had the man all knocked out in some room, don't you think he would have been putting the moves on an unconscious Jason Morgan? I know the whole Sam "maybe" gets raped is for some lame ass WTD s/l where Jason will end up being the baby's father since he's not about to run out on his pregnant wife.

As for Carly, she needs to be knocked down several pegs and left with nothing.

I will tell you you did miss an adorable Emma dressed up as a princess, Scrubs/Emma being menaced by a scary clown with a syringe, and some very nice Scorpio-Drake family adorableness on Princess Emma's birthday, including Patrick in a party hat and mocking of his hair of late. Those scenes will take about 10 minutes, and you can easily skip the rest of this awful show.

Am I crazy or did we see the back of Laura's head at the end of a Luke/Ethan conversation at Wyndmere? Maybe she discovered another Cassadine son she forgot she had.

That's how bad this show is, that I'm looking for anything that may be remotely interesting. We've had more than our share of sexual violence on this show--but I truly don't care what happens to Sam. She, new Kate & temp Maxie should take a long trip somewhere--they hurt my ears.

AngerInTheAfternoon, I will make a point of watching the Emma cuteness! As I find clowns even more horrifying than I do Zacchara incest, I will be fast-forwarding those scenes...

I'm still wondering where people are getting Sam is going to be raped from. From what I saw on Friday, Franco is making Jason look like the biggest idiot walking. All the clues are there that Franco is going to make Jason think he did something to Sam but he didn't. First Jason drinks the beer and he's knocked out immediately, however Sam who's much smaller than him, drinks the beer and she's woozy when she goes into the bedroom when taking off the necklace, but she's wide awake taking this shower. The fact that she's still standing makes me question everything. They have already established that Franco is using video placing himself in one place where he is not (the Toronto hotel lobby that was even time stamped). We know that he placed spy cams all over that shack. So what's to say that the footage that Jason is watching is real time footage and not old footage that Franco is showing to make Jason believe that he's actually watching live.

The whole Jason/Sam/Franco stuff is just lame. Why couldn't GH write Franco as a Cassadine or a member of the Five Families? I would take any thing but Franco lurking around trying to get a peek inside of Jason's boxers!

One last thing, Sam is suppose to be this ride or die chick and she's not. I just watched Snow White smack Prince Charming in the head with a rock on "Once upon a Time" over on ABC!

Claudia Z either killed Johnny's mother, or she is really Johnny's mother, with Anthony as the possible father, a la incest. Whatever it is, I decidedly don't care. Thank God Sarah Joy Brown(ex-Claudia, ex-Carly,GH)is currently employed on DOOL, as a character named Madison, other wise I'd be more fearful of her character returning, unless they go the re-cast route like nuKate Howard.

I don't know why they're delving into the Zacchara incest thing NOW, when Claudia's been dead for a while.

kermitklein, even if it turns out Franco didn't "really" rape Sam, I don't think it makes the storyline much less offensive or any better. In fact, it's kinda worse, because then the show will be saying a woman doesn't even know when she's been raped.

well BN...I don't even think that its going to go to rape because evidently if she's going to go look for franco with Jason, she's not that traumatized. But I wouldn't say that it would be more offensive by saying a woman doesn't even know when she's raped. To me it will just be continuing the saga of how damn dumb Jason and Sam are when they are together and they have basically been showing that since like forever. I myself just find it so stupid how far they have dumbed down Jason when it comes to her. Jason has been in many relationships with women and even way back in the day with JnR when Jason Morgan was new and Robin was teaching him about love and relationship and he was kind of childish/teenagery when it came to these things, he was not this dumbed down.

As a long time Jason fan, I'm seriously like who the hell is this guy. Not questioning spy cams that don't match anything in the house, letting Sam convince him that it's a good idea to stay on this honeymoon when it was stated they have been on this honeymoon for weeks but yet they still stay and its not like they are doing anything special except surfing and talking on the same subject they have been talking about since earlier this year, then Jason just believing footage about Franco in Toronto when this man does trickery with cameras and footage all the times. Jason going against his instincts.

The real question for me really during this whole storyline is do I even feel sorry for what's about to happen to these dumbasses considering they know how Franco is?

In addition to the sweet Scrubs scenes mentioned above, there was also a moment of Dante being snarky at Michael. I believe both of these things happened on thursday.

I'm still trying to figure out what time paradox Port Charles is in.

Are we supposed to believe that Jason, who didn't want to take time off work for brain surgery, is on a two month honeymoon?

And that 3 hour boat trip that lasted a week was all supposed to be the same night?

And then halloween thing that ended on a cliffhanger, but then suddenly it was the next day, but also Robin was wearing the same clothes.

But also, Kristina' party,which was one night, happened over halloween and Emma's birthday, which is also the day Claudia died thus...Josselyn's bday too?

I'm confused.

Snow in May? Better just find the Ice Princess episodes. Good old early 80's goodness.

Ahhh...those were the days....

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