Depression Hurts--And This Show Isn't Helping
Port Charles is so relentlessly grim these days that I keep expecting to catch a glimpse of the bathrobe from the commercials for Abilify (you know? The one that floats around morosely looking like a gloomy and oddly deflated Cookie Monster), lurking in the background looking sad, maybe having a drink at Jake's and pouring his heart out to Coleman. "It's just that...Lucky abandoned his kids. Why? Why would he do that? And why does Ethan hate the concept of Luke and Laura so much? I don't get it Coleman, I just don't get it. Can I have more peanuts please? Thanks."
In the span of sixty minutes, hearts were shattered all over the place. Lucky shatter Elizabeth's heart and Cameron's and mine, by deciding to run away to Ireland--to find himself.
Lucky: I was so hard on my dad. Every time he would leave, there was a part of me that would just want to blame him and judge him and... and now I'm doing that to you. See, the thing is, Aiden... you -- you don't leave because it's easy. You leave because...you leave because you have to.
Lucky: Yeah. I'm, uh, I'm no good to anyone here, not until I figure out what I want for my life.
Because writing the guy off the show by sending him out of town indefinitely for work- (or Laura-) related reasons would have been too complicated and not, what, douchey enough? I wish Cameron had overheard that explanation, yanked back the red scarf he had adorably gifted his father with and given a classic "Bitch, please" on the way to the town hall to file paperwork for legal emancipation.
Then there was Ethan, who broke my--well, it was more my brain that he broke than my heart, because this--this made me so angry that I spontaneously thought of, like, ten expletive-riddled things to say about it and I am pretty sure my brain actually short-circuited for a second because I got a wicked headache soon after that tool slurred the following words in the most condescending of manners, like he has known any of the people involved in these relationships for longer than eight minutes:
Ethan: What if you'd succeeded, hmm? What if you'd been able to keep Lucky trapped like Laura did with Luke?
It's not even the show's outright hatred of the Luke/Laura coupling that I object to (it's been such a common theme over the past few years that I think I reached the peak of my outrage in, like, 2009. Now I hear things like this and feel just a low-level hum of irritation), it's the person delivering the message. I know Ethan feels like he understands Luke better than people who have actually known him for years and that he understands the dynamics Spencer men have with women and with Cassadines (oh, how I ached to punch him in the face when he was laughing off the dangers of Wyndemere. Wait until Helena kidnaps you and fakes your death, dude and I hope that is your exit story), but honestly. He really doesn't KNOW these people and he certainly doesn't know them well enough to delve into their romantic histories and lecture people about them in that obnoxious, marble-mouthed way he has.
But then. THEN!
Dante and Lulu paid a (mercifully offscreen) visit to the September 11th Memorial and discussed it at length, before taking away the message that they should enjoy the time that they have and get married immediately. Yes. That happened. Because this show isn't upsetting and sad enough as it is, we need to awkwardly insert one of the most horrible and all-too-recent tragedies in recent memory into a freaking soap opera romance--that's not exploitative AT ALL.
I can't folks, I just can't. I am not even sure what to say, so I won't say anything. I will just leave a sad, angry "..."
(I know! I KNOW! I feel dirty even writing it!)
He provided some much needed levity, both intentionally...
Jason: I already tried this with Spinelli.
Sonny: Please, don't compare me to Spinelli 'cause I'll get really upset.
And not so intentionally, by providing guidance to Jason as Jason falls down the all-too familiar wormhole of RAGE. And by "guidance", I mean "Sonny talked about himself at every opportunity".
Sonny: I know you've been through a lot, right? But all you got to do is look at me. I'm still standing.
Sonny, thank you for being such a self-absorbed fool, because without these brief (like...fleeting!) moments of hilarity, I probably would have spent the episode crying frustrated, sad tears.