Songs In The Key Of DULL
After slogging through Friday's General Hospital (for, like, the fourth time, because I stopped paying attention during each of the first three attempts and I think I might have even fallen asleep once and I'm not just saying that to overstate the amount of dull that was packed into sixty or so minutes, give or take a few for commercials--including SO many commercials for The Revolution, with a voiceover by a ridiculously enthusiastic narrator who crows "This is like no other show on TV!" which I am taking as an admission that the narrator has never seen TV before. Maybe that's why there was such enthusiasm? "Hey, this box is TALKING!"--because it's impossible to overstate the amount of dull that we're dealing with right here), I have one wish and, surprisingly, that wish is not death. No, my wish is to learn more about the people who work at The Port Charles Times because it seems like there are some hilarious people on staff there.
There are layers upon layers of amusing here, from the headline to the spectacularly unflattering photos of the doctors turned murder suspects, who all look like drugged "BEFORE!" pictures in a weight loss supplement commercial.
The rest of the show wishes it could be as entertaining as that split second glimpse of a faux newspaper. Sure, they tried to inject some "You go, girl!" (you know that the General Hospital powers-that-be still say "You go, girl") with Monica slapping Luke and, I hope, setting Liz up to do the same on Monday and yes, they gave us some quality time with Aiden and his chubby cheeks
but such enjoyment was brief and overshadowed by the ridiculous-and-not-in-a-good-way story about people living in the walls at Wyndemere and Sonny and Kate having the same conversation that they've been having for WEEKS now, which I will paraphrase below, if you haven't already hastily exited this blog entry after seeing "Sonny", "Kate" and "conversation" in the same sentence because why subject yourself to that boring again, right? How much longer can this go on for?!
SONNY: I HAVE EMOTIONS, KATE!
KATE: I know you do, Sonny. You have feelings. Do you know how it feels for me to watch you have feelings?!
SONNY: I'VE BEEN THROUGH SOME THINGS, KATE!
KATE: Let's talk some more about this, Sonny. Let's talk about your life and how it made me feel.
SONNY: LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY MEMORIES, KATE!
KATE: I would never leave you alone, Sonny. I would never! Do you know how that would make me feel?
SONNY: I FEEL ALL THE FEELS, KATE!
Maybe I shouldn't have asked that, because knowing these writers, they'll take it as a dare and Sonny and Kate will be talking about the past for the next six months...