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« Getting a "Thank You" Note Through the Airwaves | Main | Slap Happy »

December 08, 2011

They Hem and They Haw, But the Hair is All Wrong

Y'all. This is getting harder to do every day. I can't digest episodes the way I used to anymore. I knew I'd get into panic mode once we were past the six-weeks-left mark and, sure enough, I'm getting worse at this instead of better!

Today, for instance, the sads started to hit when I realized Gigi's hair is probably just temporarily brown, as it already looked a shade lighter. And those flashbacks really drove it home! I miss dramatic-brunette Gigi! Why would I feel sad about something regarding Gigi? Why would I feel sad about someone's hair color? I don't have time for that! That's not how I watch this show! I guess it is now. All bets are off.

Oh man. Just in case anyone thought, "Gosh, I feel kind of sad about OLTL ending, maybe I'll swing by Serial Drama and they can cheer me up!" you should perhaps conclude your time with this post starting....now. 

Wait! Wait for one quick thing! I was kidding! Roxy continued to be awesome today, not only continuing her campaign to save Fraternity Row from cancellation, but with breaking it down for a trying-to-continue-to-make-herself-miserable Natalie at the end of the episode.

Roxy: You know, you are worse than he is! I mean, you're all down on him because he doesn't tell you how he feels but you're doing exactly the same thing, and you're not just playing with your own life, but you're playing with your baby boy's life who needs a family. So just grow up, Natalie, would you? Life is not perfect! "Oh, boo hoo, Johnny let me down, he didn't fire up all his sirens and bust up my wedding!" You know something, you are worse, you know better.

Damn straight, Roxy! I'm not really with her on the bit about Natalie's son since, as anyone in Llanview knows, you can raise a kid without that kid's father as your husband. (Especially if you have a doting extended family and millions of dollars at your disposal.) But I loved that she made fun of Nat for pouting about John actually respecting what she insisted were her wishes -- to marry Brody. I realize respecting a marriage or a wedding is not really common practice in Llanview, but it's hilarious to put it in the "minus" column for a potential life partner! Melissa Archer did a great job with Nat's reaction to Roxy in this scene, too -- very much a "whoa, she's actually seriously pissed and her advice... isn't crazy" response.


Very nicely done.

And back in Paris, Texas, they did that thing I totally hate where they play a scene forward as if it's really happening and it's, of course, something we'd find so refreshing (in this case, Cutter just telling Gigi she's Gigi) and then it turns out it was that person's imagination. This is a television and film trope I freaking hate with a passion. I know it's ubiquitous so it's pointless to have as a bugaboo, as bugaboos go, but man do I get pissed about those fake-outs. I was already furiously scribbling notes about what a nice dramatic surprise it was and then I had to put a big X over them next to the word "cop out."

And of course the hardest scenes of all to watch today were those between Todd and Blair. It's clear that they were actually trying to literally kill me with these scenes. It wasn't enough that he's lying to her and that the two are at odds and that she told him outright she chose Tomas over him and that it's his fault she makes such bad choices in men, they had to also put the two of them about three centimeters away from each other, repeatedly.



And she complained about all those years living with a man who eats with his hands and can't tell people how he feels, and he told her he can tell her how he feels and then.... he didn't! Oh, Afternoon Television Program, you are toying with me and you are destroying my weary soul!


And he reached out to touch her and she wouldn't let him. I mean, seriously.




"You know I'd do anything for you, Blair."

Really? You're gonna do me like this, Afternoon Television Program?!

Okay. Deep breath. And then in response to that, of course, she walks away from him.


While he just leans longingly against that effing column, wishing it were her.

This is really taking too much out of me. I will say again that I try to avoid spoilers at all costs (and I hope this is late enough in the game that they're keeping a closer eye on these things anyway), but all I can hold onto at this point of sheer and utter torture is this: they're playing this up. This longing and the battling and the fighting and the blaming and the deflecting is 100% vintage Todd and Blair. Add to that the fact that they're going out of their way to put them less than an inch away from touching each other over and over and we have to just hold out hope that they're smart enough to be so brilliantly cruel that they know how fucking agonizing this is to watch and they're putting us through it (okay, not "us," as I know full well not every viewer wants the same thing here) so that the anticipation will be at even more of a fever pitch than they know full well it already is once we finally get any kind of payoff. Because oh, hell, what a payoff that will be if it happens.

I need a cigarette. And I don't even smoke. 


That Roxy line (and Natalie's original annoyance at John last week in the same episode where Matthew went off on Nora for pressuring Destiny into changing her mind about the baby) has convinced me that Louise is secretly writing some of these episodes.

Ha! I wish!

Oh Louise. I feel ya. How could she just walk away? Did you see that he had a picture of her on his desk?

The good news is we got confirmation today that Blair only picked Tomas because he's a good man (no I don't believe Blair loves Tomas) who she believed wouldn't ever hurt her, unlike say Todd. Sort of like her typical buffer from Todd, who always turns her life upside down. Except this time, neither one of them are good men IMHO (but one is the love of her life so he's forgiven lol).

I would enjoy this so much more if she wasn't right about trying to stay away from Todd - he's about to hurt her deeply with his lies again. I don't read spoilers but he's getting caught. No other way around it. I keep telling myself though that he's doing everything he's doing for her own good. TOMAS IS NOT A GOOD MAN! AND VICTOR IS NOT DEAD!

In other news, Jolie - I can't even. This is so dumb. Roxy continues to rock though so thank God for small favors.

Oh, Louise, I am having such hard time contemplating the conclusion of my beloved OLTL. I became so overwhelmed yesterday I could not even post here regarding episodes of OLTL I loved. The talk of Fraternity Row's demise with Ilene Kirsten's brilliant performances make me similtaneously elated and sad. Oh, I am going to miss this show so much! Not anything Morasco-related (even Shane) but I am going to miss this show!

P.S. I think Tomas never returning to Llanview would be the equivalent of two Christmas-worth of presents!

P.P.S. I really hope I get tickets to attend The View's One Life To Live Farewell taping on January 13. You can request tickets from their web site.

This is why I love my soap operas -- they make you crazy! With everyone suddenly talking about going to Paris, Texas there was no way in heck that Cutter was going to come clean with Gigi! Gigi may not have her memories, but she knows that Shane is her son and Rexx her fiance and she would go right back to Llanview on the first bus.

Roxie is the bomb! I loved her telling Natalie to take the stick out of her butt and either get off the pot and go tell John how she feels about him or just to let it go. Of course, I think Natalie is WAY too good for stick up the tush and couldn't run from a kid that wasn't his fast enough, John McBain.

Blair has Todd's shorts all in a twist. I like TK but his presence on OLTL is no longer needed. In fact, I would much rather Eli had not gone totally off the rails and we saw an Eli/Blair/Todd triangle, because Eli and Blair tearing up the hotel having sex was all kinds of hot!

I just watch this show in amazement of how good it is. And frankly, even the characters or storylines that I might not like, I find myself at the very least, putting up with, because the alternative is not....acceptable. (Other the the Fords, they still stink to high heaven).

How great is it that Roxie is being given prominence in this storyline? And that a love, or least understanding of soaps is Llanview's citizens best kept secret? And how perfect can is it that we see Vicki and Clint in this light, this storyline?

As to what is supposed to happen on January 13th, it makes no more sense to than if we had been told that after that day, no more chocolate would ever be available again. I just hate it.

I thought Blair's outfit today was cute and I covet her boots. I totally get where her headspace is... I really do because she loves Todd more than any other man but when push has come to shove more often than not he has NOT taken care of her the way a man is supposed to when he loves a woman.

Still... Tomas is no longer a viable substitute for me (though I still quite enjoy him) and Todd is sitting there with a picture of Blair propped against his monitor and saying things like "You know I'd do anything for you, Blair" in that soft gentle voice of his and... dammit.


I LOVED Roxy reaching her breaking point with Natalie. I mean, how dare John not bust up her wedding to Brody, the man that she told people repeatedly she wanted to be with? How dare he not make that decision for her? I never again want to hear that she didn't accept that proposal b/c she heard John say he didn't love her anymore. At the point she's just like Lulu on GH to me. She revels in her own misery.

The T&B stuff was driving me nuts, but I loved how Todd has Blair's picure on his desk. I sqeed when I saw it. And I love him saying he would do anything for her. It's frustrating, but those scenes showed me that Blair is most definitely struggling b/c she knows Todd is her lobster. I think she's just upset about the Tomas situation b/c she took her time with him and it's still not right and she thinks she's supposed to end up with the "good guy" (loosely used b/c all the things Tomas has done and is still regarded as good).

The viewer may ASPIRE to be VIKI or DORIAN, but the viewer IS ROXY!

I think she's just upset about the Tomas situation b/c she took her time with him and it's still not right

I realize respecting a marriage or a wedding is not really common practice in Llanview,

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