They Hem and They Haw, But the Hair is All Wrong
Y'all. This is getting harder to do every day. I can't digest episodes the way I used to anymore. I knew I'd get into panic mode once we were past the six-weeks-left mark and, sure enough, I'm getting worse at this instead of better!
Today, for instance, the sads started to hit when I realized Gigi's hair is probably just temporarily brown, as it already looked a shade lighter. And those flashbacks really drove it home! I miss dramatic-brunette Gigi! Why would I feel sad about something regarding Gigi? Why would I feel sad about someone's hair color? I don't have time for that! That's not how I watch this show! I guess it is now. All bets are off.
Oh man. Just in case anyone thought, "Gosh, I feel kind of sad about OLTL ending, maybe I'll swing by Serial Drama and they can cheer me up!" you should perhaps conclude your time with this post starting....now.
Wait! Wait for one quick thing! I was kidding! Roxy continued to be awesome today, not only continuing her campaign to save Fraternity Row from cancellation, but with breaking it down for a trying-to-continue-to-make-herself-miserable Natalie at the end of the episode.
Roxy: You know, you are worse than he is! I mean, you're all down on him because he doesn't tell you how he feels but you're doing exactly the same thing, and you're not just playing with your own life, but you're playing with your baby boy's life who needs a family. So just grow up, Natalie, would you? Life is not perfect! "Oh, boo hoo, Johnny let me down, he didn't fire up all his sirens and bust up my wedding!" You know something, you are worse, you know better.
Damn straight, Roxy! I'm not really with her on the bit about Natalie's son since, as anyone in Llanview knows, you can raise a kid without that kid's father as your husband. (Especially if you have a doting extended family and millions of dollars at your disposal.) But I loved that she made fun of Nat for pouting about John actually respecting what she insisted were her wishes -- to marry Brody. I realize respecting a marriage or a wedding is not really common practice in Llanview, but it's hilarious to put it in the "minus" column for a potential life partner! Melissa Archer did a great job with Nat's reaction to Roxy in this scene, too -- very much a "whoa, she's actually seriously pissed and her advice... isn't crazy" response.
Very nicely done.
And back in Paris, Texas, they did that thing I totally hate where they play a scene forward as if it's really happening and it's, of course, something we'd find so refreshing (in this case, Cutter just telling Gigi she's Gigi) and then it turns out it was that person's imagination. This is a television and film trope I freaking hate with a passion. I know it's ubiquitous so it's pointless to have as a bugaboo, as bugaboos go, but man do I get pissed about those fake-outs. I was already furiously scribbling notes about what a nice dramatic surprise it was and then I had to put a big X over them next to the word "cop out."
And of course the hardest scenes of all to watch today were those between Todd and Blair. It's clear that they were actually trying to literally kill me with these scenes. It wasn't enough that he's lying to her and that the two are at odds and that she told him outright she chose Tomas over him and that it's his fault she makes such bad choices in men, they had to also put the two of them about three centimeters away from each other, repeatedly.
And she complained about all those years living with a man who eats with his hands and can't tell people how he feels, and he told her he can tell her how he feels and then.... he didn't! Oh, Afternoon Television Program, you are toying with me and you are destroying my weary soul!
And he reached out to touch her and she wouldn't let him. I mean, seriously.
Really? You're gonna do me like this, Afternoon Television Program?!
Okay. Deep breath. And then in response to that, of course, she walks away from him.
While he just leans longingly against that effing column, wishing it were her.
This is really taking too much out of me. I will say again that I try to avoid spoilers at all costs (and I hope this is late enough in the game that they're keeping a closer eye on these things anyway), but all I can hold onto at this point of sheer and utter torture is this: they're playing this up. This longing and the battling and the fighting and the blaming and the deflecting is 100% vintage Todd and Blair. Add to that the fact that they're going out of their way to put them less than an inch away from touching each other over and over and we have to just hold out hope that they're smart enough to be so brilliantly cruel that they know how fucking agonizing this is to watch and they're putting us through it (okay, not "us," as I know full well not every viewer wants the same thing here) so that the anticipation will be at even more of a fever pitch than they know full well it already is once we finally get any kind of payoff. Because oh, hell, what a payoff that will be if it happens.
I need a cigarette. And I don't even smoke.