I'm really quite interested in the resolution to this latest whodunit General Hospital is offering. Well, not interested, exactly--more like I'm anxious for it to be over. Not because I care, in any way, about the identity of the person assaulting unnamed strippers off-camera, but because the sooner it ends, the sooner we can get Michael's dramatic "I AND I ALONE SOLVED THIS CRIME, AND I DID IT FOR ABBY BECAUSE I LOVE HER!" monologue over with. Having that hanging over my head is causing me some serious consternation.
THANKFULLY, we have possibly made some progress on this front. Granted, this could be the reddest of herrings, but considering how nonsensical and lazy the GH writing staff seems to be, it's an incredibly safe bet that the assaulter could wind up being none other than Ronnie Dimestico, he of the shoe polish head for whom I have developed a strange fondness.
Look at how menacingly he is drinking that water!
Ewen's profile of the unsub really drove it all home, although I did become suspicious at Ronnie's ability to quietly move from place to place in a matter of seconds, without making a sound.
EWEN: Possibly from somewhere like...Brooklyn.
Ewen: He's a student of human nature who works and interacts with people outside their homes.
EWEN: ...at places like crime scenes or police stations.
Ewen: Most likely, he's had difficult relations with women in his personal life.
PADILLA: So what you're saying--
RONNIE: GODDAMN IT, PADILLA, CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP YOUR WHORE MOUTH SHUT FOR ONCE?
Ewen: But he would never hurt someone who was close to him. Instead, he takes out his anger and frustration on the strangers, the victims.
RONNIE: So you're safe, Padilla.
RONNIE: DIDN'T I JUST TELL YOU TO SHUT UP?!
Ewen: He may have had a criminal history, but D'onofrio wasn't the attacker. I read his file, too. History of public crime, domestic abuse. Way too obvious. The man you're looking for is far more cunning. You could be standing right beside him and you might not even know it.
EWEN: Just like I'm standing right next to you, looking at you pointedly.
RONNIE: GODDAMNIT, PADILLA!
It COULD just be a misdirect but, come on, the only thing this show loves more than cops behaving poorly is military veterans with no morals.