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« Two. | Main | One. (Life to Live) »

January 16, 2012

All I Can Do Is List

Reasons I am compiling lists about General Hospital rathern than doing the professional thing and writing about General Hospital using things like "sentences" and "paragraphs":

For the, what, 50th time (I'm grossly underestimating things, I know), Sonny Corinthos was shot and the show wasted an absurd amount of time making it seem as though Sonny's life was actually in danger. Things more likely than the show doing us all a solid and writing Sonny off of the show:

1. Spinelli speaking an entire sentence in actual English, without referring to someone with a cumbersome nickname.
2. Alexis getting a storyline of her own.
3. The Chew and The Revolution being ratings successes and cultural phenomenons.
4. Making it through one day without reading a particularly embarrassing Lindsay Lohan headline (crashing a Golden Globes party? Girl...)
5. My suddenly not finding all of Aaron Rodgers's State Farm commercials not adorable--I can't explain it, he charms me. Don't tell all of the Giants fans I am surrounded by!

Things I hate about Ethan (besides his retconned existence, because that is obvious):

1. The way he responds to any of his scene partners asking a question with a bizarre braying laugh. "I need your help," says Luke. "GUFFAW", says Ethan. "Are you living at Wyndemere?" asks Lulu. "HAHAHAHAHA," says Ethan.
2. The fact that he is giddy about having sex with an amnesiac on the floor at Wyndemere.
3. The face he makes when reminiscing about having sex with an amnesiac on the floor at Wyndemere.
4. The way he smugs about town lecturing others about Spencer family history and the Spencer-Cassadine feud as if he knows anything about anything.
5. The way he was practically agog at Lulu going by Lulu Spencer-Falconeri, as if hyphenated last names are unusual and as if that particular hyphenation is even that long and complicated.

Cassandra: I wasn't born yesterday. Oh, or was I?
Ewen: Don't play games, Cassandra. You're a beautiful, mysterious young woman and Ethan is clearly a bit of a rogue.

Cassandra and Ewen spent much of today's episode having the above conversation on an endless loop and something about Cassandra's obliviousness and the way that Ewen obviously knows more about this wholly uninteresting scenario than the audience does made me think of--and I know it is blasphemy to even refer to this show alongside General Hospital--Rita and her uncle on Arrested Development. If only the soundtrack blared "For British Eyes Only" over this circular conversation! As it stands, only the following things are less entertaining than these two rando's:

1. I lied: nothing is less entertaining than these two strangers talking about her hidden past.

Patrick: Tell me, tell me. Tell me what you know.
Elizabeth: I know she was devastated when she found out that her viral loads were unstable.
Patrick: Why would she think that I wouldn't want to go through this with her?
Elizabeth: She wanted to spare you the pain.
Patrick: Why would she spare me the pain? So now that I know, am I supposed to ignore this? What am I supposed to do?

Rather than have the truth come out in an emotional, amazingly acted scene between Kimberly McCullough and Jason Thompson, the show chose to have Elizabeth tell Patrick the truth about Robin's illness. Jason Thompson was stellar; Kimberly McCullough was off-screen. Things this is not:

1. Poignant.
2. Must-watch.

Sam: I'm pregnant. I need to know how you feel about this.
Jason: CATV8_20120116_140719-1

Jason:

CATV8_20120116_140719-vi

Jason:

CATV8_20120116_140016-vi

Things I was able to accomplish during Steve Burton's extra long reaction shots:

1. A crossword puzzle.
2. A manicure.
3. The completion of a novella.

Comments

Sarah, a little bit passive aggressive?

Posting that here when tensions are running high and people are depressed isn't just a 'bit passive aggressive'

I don't come here to read about how much people like you love The Chew.

Take that elsewhere, please.

Title of blog: Serial Drama

This is still the name of this site right?

Well, unless the everyday personnel of The Spew and The Revoltion start cheating on one another, get kidnapped, have musical montages, catfights and evil masterminds troubling them, I don't care to talk about them. There are perfectly lovely blogs gear towards those shows. Talk about them there.

Trying to go back to topic. Could Jason look any less void of emotions? I admit it, I've never seen the alleged chemistry with JaSam. So they need to wrap this crap up and I'm actually hoping for a Livvie/Caleb reunion with Sam/McBain match. I'll be fine with a nice relatively painless false positive pregnacy test.

2nd day without OLTL. Withdrawal?

No, it's not a sign of OLTL-withdrawal or being 'cranky' but I am displeased with commentary that uplifts a television show that was developed to replace a long-running soap opera. I invested a lot of time and energy in OLTL. And I do not appreciate being labeled as 'cranky' or overly-sensitive when I am legitimately angry. It's like someone saying an angry woman is on 'the rag' or it's her 'time of the month' when she may be angry about something that pisses her off.

And as much as I disparage GH, I wouldn't conjur up The Chew or The Revolution as adequate replacements. That's more than being passive-aggressive, that's being just wrong. If one wishes to make such an inflammatory statement on a site dedicated to discussing soap operas, they should expect people being upset.

I actually am in withdrawal. My 1:00CST show is gone and I freakin' hate it. I have watched those three ABC shows for eons and now there is one left, because someone thinks that shows about how to improve my life (information I can find anywhere in a library, or in a conversation with a friend) are needed to fill the void they seem to think exists. What improved my life was being entertained by these soaps and escaping reality for a couple of hours a day. I'm not cranky-I'm mad as hell!

I think it's the lack of OLTL @Gwen Hayes. I'm downright irritable.

Oh- GH sucks and I hope ABC higher ups fall off a tall building.

I think it's a combination of the lack of OLTL and the diminishing soap options. GH sucks balls, Y&R is watchable for a month or two before it puts me to sleep, DAYS has never done much for me, and B&B COULD be a good trashy soap if Brad Bell didn't have advanced Attention Deficit Disorder and a brain crammed with Flowers in the Attic and My Sweet Audrina.

I'm so goddamned depressed I can't even watch the last 2 OLTL eps, because that would mean saying goodbye for real.

I'm sad and I'm angry, not just because soap operas are dying, but because no one outside of the soap world gives a shit. My friends are stunned that I give a shit. (If I had a dollar for every time I've explained to a comic book fan that comic books and soaps are 2 sides of the same coin, and therefore, so are we... sigh.) The next time someone says something detrimental regarding my love of soaps, they are going to get hit in the face with a brick. (Note to self: find brick, put in purse.)

Oh come on! Someone needs to give props to the hilarious exchange between Luke and Alexis

Luke: you still own a car?
Alexis: do you?
Luke:OK let's not go there.

HA! I am still chuckling over that one!


Lisbeth, I chuckled over that whole exchange. The ONLY time I can tolerate Luke anymore is when he is interacting with Natasha, er, Alexis.

Tensions ARE running high and a lot of us here are some combination of depressed, crabby and angry about the loss of OLTL, the state of GH, the way that the writing for the remaining shows sucks like a sucking thing--I totally get that and, please, I am one of the crabbiest people around (exhibit A: everything I have ever written for this site). But please remember that one of the only--possibly THE only--rules we have for commenting on Serial Drama is to be respectful to other commenters, no matter how much you might disagree with their take on a show or character or what. Yes, even if an angry Spinelli/Epiphany 'shipper shows up, we have to respect their opinion*.

This is a rough time to be a soap fan, but let's get through it together, okay?

*Just kidding, those people do not exist. I hope...

Wake me when Ron and Frank's material shows up.

Sam did NOT briefly consider getting an abortion while pregnant with Sonny's baby. She used that baby as a weapon until Jason stepped in and let her move in across the hall from Sonny, Carly, Michael and Morgan.

Personally, I'm offended by positioning Sam's PERFECTLY LEGAL RIGHT TO CHOOSE as something that makes her a villain. She was at a time in her life when being a parent was not something she felt she could do. This does not invalidate her agency or her choices later in life. My poor, poor gender.

Lobsel Vith, yes. That is another reason why this whole thing with Cassandra is supremely creepy.

Michaela, agreed. I have little use for Sam myself but I would hope someone would explore all the options if they were knocked up by the local mobster who was still married to a very vindictive woman.

@soapbaby...I hope you don't think I was singling you out. I just read all the comments in one sitting and they felt different to me today. Usually, it's snarking on the show...but today, we seemed like we were kind of going at each other. It was more a "mood" I was commenting on than an actual argument, because there were several.

Hey Gwen H.! I didn't think you were singling me out at all. Honestly, the whole thing blew up and I felt the need to toss in my 'two cents.' Perhaps, I should've stepped back.

One of the things I love about this site is how we can snark on the shows we have invested so much time into. I do take offense to folks stating how much they love The Chew or Let's Make A Deal or The Talk because they replaced soaps. I get there are folks who like those shows but if that like is brought over here, I will state how I feel about that.

General Hospital is so god awful I'm ashamed to admit I actually tried to watch it. Cartini certainly have their hands full trying to salvage the wreckage they've inherited. God bless'em!

For those hoping Todd and Blair will bring some life to PC, it's beginning to seem that the suits are way exaggerating their importance in the coming moves. From what KDP says, they will probably be there for only a very short time, used to bring over John McBain and Starr, who sorry to say, for me are no more interesting than anyone already on the show. And shame on ABC for using them to get their old fans excited about the possibility of some of OLTL living on in GH.

While there have been a few moments of outstanding acting during GW's Robin HIV storyline, the overall arc has been absolutely terrible. Instead of a heartfelt story about Robin and her loved ones dealing with her illness, it has been turned into a series of plot-point mysteries (Who killed Lisa?, What's wrong with Robin?, Will Robin leave?, Will Robin return?). If you must-watch poignancy, watch Stone's AIDS storyline by Labine.

Point by point comparison of Labine and Wolf storyline.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDAhhwihhDE

"Yes, even if an angry Spinelli/Epiphany 'shipper ..."

You realize that if that didn't exist in the universe, you just manifested it, right? You name it, they will write bad fanfic about it kinda thing?

Sonny gets shot? Whoa, what drama-NOT. Too bad TPTB don't kill him off, as this thug has taken over an entire show. But he is like Ridge on The Bold and the Beautiful, he isn't going anywhere.

@Verona: In a weird way I'm sort of relieved that Todd & Blair are just being used as bait to try to trick OLTL fans into shifting to GH. Yes, it't yet another shitty thing that ABCD is doing to OLTL fans, but it means I won't have to try to make myself tolerate GH again.

I quit GH years ago, for very good reasons and I'm not going back for McYawn and Starr. (I like Starr fine when she's not in a relationship-focused story, but I don't like her nearly enough to watch GH for her.)

I think my approach will be to read Serial Drama recaps of OLTL/GH mash up and decide whether it's worth watching. I usually prefer to watch unspoiled, but the combination of something I love with something I (now) hate is worrisome.

np is a horrible actor and no potential ethan pairing was ever good. nothing about the character was every good. not the johnny depp wannabe accent, not the innapropriate smiling, not the hair, not the dialogue

@Gwen, they are missing OLTL.

@Sarah, I didn't think your comment was offensive or passive-agressive in any way. I personally couldn't stomach watching the Spew, not just because it replaced a beloved soap, but because Mario Batali is alleged to have cheated his employees and to me that is about as low as a famous rich person can go.

That said, we're all rabid soap fans here, our emotions are still pretty raw, and that show is unfortunately in a time slot where we wouldn't support it no matter how good it was.

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