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« Ode to Joy and Natalie Banks | Main | This Show Makes My Face Hurt »

January 04, 2012

And With That, I Have Become a Soap Crazy

Because we have grown so close over the past few years, I feel that I can admit something incredibly embarrassing to you and that there's a small chance that you won't judge me for it and a(-n even smaller) chance that you have experienced something similar: today, I shouted spiteful things at a fictional character. Such is the intensity of the dislike I harbor for Michael Corinthos and his limitless rage and his complete self-absorption and his blatant disrespect for his parents that led me to actually think today, "God, Michael, don't talk to you father like that!"

And I don't mean the common kind of shouting one does at a fictional character, if one were the type to take television too seriously. Like, if someone murmured, "You go, Sonny. You go"?

Sonny: This is not about trust. Can't you get it through your head that I don't want you in this life? I want a better life--
Michael: How I decide to live my life is up to me.
Sonny: Yeah, it's up to you. It is. And you know what's up to me? How I run my business. And I'm telling you, you're never going to be involved in it. End of story.


Or groaning-slash-laughing at this bit of utter melodrama?

Jason: I thought you liked your job at the warehouse.
Michael: You know what I also liked? Waking up to Abby every morning. Things change. I have no reason to stay safe.


No, all of those reactions are expected. What I did...well:

Jason: I know you wanted to go to New Zealand to scatter Abby's ashes--
Michael: DON'T SAY HER NAME!!!

I actually said, "Oh, yeah? ABBY ABBY ABBY ABBY ABBY! HA! TAKE THAT, YOU SELF-ABSORBED PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE!" To an empty room. Because an obnoxious soap opera character got on my nerves. I am filled with shame*.

*But I'm also kind of right, right? BECAUSE HE IS THE WORST TO EVER BE.


You're not crazy. I yelled at Michael too.

The ONLY time I can stand Sonny is when he's trying to keep Michael out of the business. However I was hoping Jax would break down the door and they would accidentally kill one another while trying to get to Jax.

Well if your crazy then we should all be checked into ShadyBrooke maybe we can get a group discount. My fit started when Micheal was going off on Carly I swear if anyone of my 2 sons would have spoke to me like that Mac would have an open and shut case for assault against me because I would have laid them out! Friday when he got ran over I found myself yelling at the tv "DIE JUST DIE"!!!

Sign me up for the group rate at Shadybrook or Llanview's St. Anne's too.

Honestly, I've almost gotten to the point of just rolling my eyes when it comes to all gummy mob related things. Sonny's crazy behavior. Jason's sainthood. Sam's propping of all things Jason and Sonny. But Carly will make me yell at my poor innocent tv.

Although it damn near killed me this week to have to actually agree with the crazy bitch's(aka Carly) decision not to air her suspicions about Jax's life status. And to hear the new gummy mob bitches go on and on that now it was Carly's fault that Sonny had a meltdown about Jax. No bitches. Sonny had the meltdown because Sonny is a crazy asshole who refuses to get help to deal with his life and especially his anger management problems. Sane people don't think that sabotageing an airplane is a good decision. Threatening Jax for any reason isn't a good decision because in the end, it didn't concern you. Jocelyn isn't Sonny's kid. Hell, Morgan legally isn't Sonny's kid. Michael is supposedly an adult, anything to do with Jax didn't concern Sonny. Sonny decided that he had a shot to look like a big powerful man to people and he had a chance to harm a man he has never liked. And why the hell nobody points out to Sonny that if he ever did hurt Jax then he would be hurting Michael, Morgan and Jocelyn-----because they all love Jax---- is beyond me. Grown adults screeching at Carly because Sonny didn't actually kill Jax, so he didn't need to feel bad about his actions, was mindboggling. The man downed a freaking airplane. Even if Jax(or anyone else) didn't die, it was attempted murder. Hell, possibly mass murder or terrorism. But Sonny's insane reactions to Jax and Carly's marital woes wasn't the issue with these wackjobs? It was the fact that Carly suspected that Jax was alive(probably in fear for his life---with complete justification) and didn't bother to tell Sonny so that he could feel better about his death wish for Jax? And to have Alexis in with the harpies known as Olivia and Kate? Bullshit.

I can't believe that I had to defend Snarly to Alexis! TFGH writers!

I had to laugh when reading GH recaps at another site that had Robin on the phone discussing being HIV for the last sixteen years since Michael is now pushing 25!

Ugh. I don't know what TIIC at GH were thinking back in 2009 when they aged Michael and Krissy to the point that the show could not tell three to four years worth of teen stories. MyKill as he is known to some fans, should be getting some teenage girl either pregnant, running away with said teenage girl, or some other nefarious teen drama.

I just don't understand anything that happens on GH. I am being completely serious. Nothing makes sense. There's no rhyme or reason. Tonight, I tried to catch a few minutes on Soapnet and was utterly confused by Steve lying on a gurney by the nurses' station just looking contemplative. Is that the proper place to lie and think? Then some toothy blonde started blabbering. I turned the television off. Seriously. It's been this way for months now. I can't even get through one minute, the show is that bad. It's not even good drama.

I just need one - just one - character on this show to say outloud that Michael is indeed a piece of human garbage, and all this watching them coddle him may have been worth it. But no, they'll keep making excuses for him even as he throws them off the dock to feel them to sharks.

I think we're all yelling at GH at some time during the hour it's on, and that's not crazy. That show is aggravating.

When is RealMaxi coming back?

How annoying was nuKate, standing there like she's in high school and defending Sonny? What is she, 16?

And I yelled at the TV when "Snowflake" just walked up and kissed Ethan. "SLUT!" Although I did wonder if she dislodged any of the marbles in his mouth...

I think the question is, Is it insane NOT to yell at this show? Or turn it off in disgust.

Yet, OLTL is cancelled. ABC bastards.

Here's hoping RC and FV can make GH watchable again before it goes off the air. I don't want it to end this way.

Excellent comment, stlbf, especially:

I can't believe that I had to defend Snarly to Alexis!

I had that same thought and was feeling rather disgusted with myself. Glad to know I wasn't the only one.

LaTayna, I was also screaming "die, Michael, die" when the camera panned to him lying in the snow on Friday. And what a great opportunity for a two-fer with Jason lying there, too...

So you know that scene in Death Becomes Her when Goldie Hawn's character Helen is in an institution b/c she lost her mind b/c her frenemy Madeline Ashton, for lack of a better term, stole her boyfriend and it's like seven years later and the therapist asks her what she wants to talk about in group and as soon as she says "Mad-e-line..." there's immediate groaning and screams b/c all the other patients lose it even more than they already have???

Yeah, that's how I was with Michael and Abby hasn't been gone that long. He's such an awful, awful person.

He's so wretched. He's angry at Jason for not telling him about Jax when Jason just found out right before his wife's maybe rape. I think his mind has been on other things Michael. The kicker is Michael KNOWS what's going on with them and still doesn't care. Michael, the idjit who told Sonny he did the right thing upon learning of Jax's "death." I'm supposed to care that he gives to shits that Jax is alive???

He's so inherently selfish and I shouldn't be surprised considering who his parents are, but he makes me angry. I should not be angry at a fictional character. Right now, he's neck in neck with my Babe hate.

It's gotten so bad and I feel bad that I'm starting to want someone to jump up and say, "Boy, nobody cares about that girl so shut up!"

I think the mere fact that we're still watching GH makes us all soap crazies and it is my suggestion that we should seek counseling immediately.

^^ I FLOVE 'Death Becomes Her'!


'I think the mere fact that we're still watching GH makes us all soap crazies and it is my suggestion that we should seek counseling immediately.'

^^ I agree with you. I am just reading recaps and even that's a harrowing experience.

Fire and water have no mercy.

"I agree with you. I am just reading recaps and even that's a harrowing experience."

Me too! I haven't watched the show since before they fired Lexi, and I'm glad I got out when I did.

To think that I'm looking back on the Monkey Virus Saga as the good old days is sad.

I'm freaking speechless after hearing Robin Scorpio actually tell Monica to get off Elizabeth's back and that Monica not knowing about Jake's biological paternity was the decision of St. Jasus. I'm shocked, ya'll. Shocked. It is like Awesome Writer read our pleas and gifted us with that scene.


My name is soapbaby and I am soap crazy. Uh, I screamed at my television when today's episode opened with Monica berating Liz. I screamed, 'Oh, FUCK you Monica!!!'

Oh, I cannot stand Monica. Her appearances have me longing for the days when she was MIA, away at medical conferences. She's bitter and hateful hoists this misplaced blame onto Liz. Like Robin said, 'Jason is the one who kept Jake's paternity a secret from you [Monica], not Liz.' Liz doesn't deserve the poor treatment from Monica. Monica is in no position to judge Liz or anyone. Monica carried on affairs with Dorman and Ned and Rick Webber while married to Alan.

Monica is just the mouthpiece of Liz-hating writers. Liz has raised her children all by her own and holds down a full-time job whereas Monica sent her kids off to boarding schools while she carried on affair after affair. Ugh. These damned writers.

Yes, Monica did start in on Liz today. But today a minor miracle occurred. A fairly major GH character(Robin) did point out to Monica that it WASN'T Liz's fault that Monica didn't find out the truth about Jake. That all the fault resided on Jason. Hell, she even said it nicely. Without a huge side of "Shut the F up, bitch!" to go with it. Granted, I still think that Jason should be the one ultimately to be the one to tell Monica to stop her passive aggressive manner with Liz. And to actually tell Monica that IT WAS HIS DECISION, not Liz's, not to involve her in Jake's life.

Slight tangent, I still don't buy Monica being completely out of the Webber boys' lives all this time. Liz and Emily have been BFFs since they were young teens. Monica was highly involved in Emily's life. So I just find it hard to believe that Monica hasn't been at least slightly around the boys' lives. <<<

This is still a pretty big shift in my eyes. Honestly, when was the last time Jason was actually blamed for any chaos/ill effects that has resulted from his actions? Outside of the "crazy" and "bad" people like the cops, the mayor(and now ex mayor), non mob connected DAs or FBI agents. Who have generally been written as "the bad guys" in this stupid show's past.

ugh michael was so miscast and such a waste of airtime. glad abby is gone, glad kristina is gone, here's hoping michael will be gone soon to. worst set of characters to ever grace the screens of gh aside from snarly, borg, and munchkin

I always thought yelling back at your TV was not a sign of insanity but rather that of a true television fan, especially a soap fan :) I clearly remember my grandmother standing on the far side of her living room(I swear the woman never sat down) watching her stories and telling me that so and so was a devil from hell. As for the show itself, I can't really comment because like more and more people I can barely get through the recaps. But yeah, Monica's tirades against Liz are really getting old. I think what bothers me is that Monica has segued from Liz kept me from my grandson to Liz is now the greatest threat to my fairly absent son and his new wife. I did catch the YT clip of her and Robin and her blatant paranoia of Liz is a little frightening especially when she mentioned how badly their past relationship worked out. It's not as if Jason was permanently scarred by the breakup. And one more thing (I promise). Weren't/aren't Audrey and Monica very close friends? I know it's a longshot but I would love to see Audrey's reaction watching Monica tear into her granddaughter? Actually forget longshot; it's a complete impossibility.

^^ How sad is it that we'll likey never see Audrey (outside of GH's final week on the air ala AMC.) Besides being friends with Audrey, Monica's beloved Emily was Elizabeth's best friend. Emily also knew the truth of Jake's paternity and kept it secret (like half of Port Charles!)

Will you marry me?

You are not alone. Michael is unbearable. I ranted about this on Twitter the other day because I can't contain anymore. Every time he brings his scrunchy face on screen, I want to punch something. He is so self righteous and so much of his rage is just... bizarrely misplaced. Yes, he's been through terrible Guza-wrought things, but god, that doesn't give him the right to be the worst human ever.

Dear Mallory, you're not the only one. I watch these episodes post-dinner after work, and thank goodness for fast forward. Although I've been skipping Michael's scenes since being subjected to the very first endless/excrutiating really, really, really awful Michael-Abbey 'love scene/love in'. Oh my goodness, it was the most cringe worthy love scene. And it went on. and on and on. And I think there was a shower involved? Why do I still remember this?! Ugh!

Point being I'm enjoying not having to see him on screen. Ages ago, I really wanted to see Michael in a sweet, young romance to lighten the mood after his awful prison experience. And then the writers gave us an age inappropriate former stripper as his romantic interest. Because they thought THAT is just what viewers wanted to squee over? (? Really. who the hell pitches these ideas?) Anyway, it's to the point where I feel quite embarrassed for the actors who have to deliver these lines (like when poor Julie Berman had to scream 'I wish you had been shot' at Jonathan Jackson. Or any of JJ's final story line. Or any of the Luke scenes from the last three months, really. It's embarrassing to watch the actors slog through it).

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