Two Episodes in One!
Y'all, this show seriously is getting more bipolar than Sonny Corinthos. Today's B&B was half embarrassing, treacly nonsense and half classic soapy feast!
A good lesson can be learned here. While the show is notorious for lightning-fast romances (and marriages!) and break-ups and more inter-familial partner swapping than the Westboro Baptist Church, that's not where speed is refreshing. Speed is refreshing when there's a major secret that someone learns and within three episodes, that someone has exposed that secret to all the relevant parties.
After one short hilarious episode of being locked in the tower (of the very house of the two people Bill was trying to keep her from talking to), Katie came right out and exposed Bill's ruse in which he bribed doctors to pretend that Steffy was dying in order to keep Liam from leaving her and being with Hope. Bill did a lot of stonewalling when Liam and Steffy were begging him to confirm or deny, and he absurdly even tried to deny it at first, saying he'd locked his wife in the tower so she wouldn't... what, invent a silly story that could easily be disproved?
Anyway, obviously he eventually had to admit it and then the layers got fun. Katie is still convinced that Steffy was involved (she wasn't) and Liam is pretty sure that Steffy must have known (she didn't) and Bill made very little effort to try to exonerate Steffy. Steffy, meanwhile, was obviously shattered since she'd spent the last couple weeks thinking she was dying (as did her entire family), and Bill's scheming has now ruined any chance she may have had to fight for Liam (sure, wasn't going to work, but that's beside the point). Steffy's in a heck of a "girl who cried wolf" pickle right now since it only follows that Liam and Katie would think she was in on it, but that misunderstanding can pretty easily be proven if it even matters anymore. I have to say it's kind of delicious. Bill did all this because he wanted to keep Steffy close to him because he's still hot for her, and now even she hates him. And then she pointed out that Bill and Katie's marriage is probably over now, too, and neither of them could muster up much disagreement there.
Alas, on the other side of town... other stuff happened. Hope droned on some more about how she was going to abandon her virgin-themed clothing line (someone in fashion is going to need to explain to me why a clothing model deciding her values are off means you should actually pull clothing from the racks and stop selling it because I mean, call me crazy, but when I pick out an outfit I'm generally not really giving one gazillionth of a shit about the sex life of that outfit's spokesmodel) (and I mean let's be honest, if we had to always personally reflect where our clothing came from we'd be doing a lot more freebasing and/or child exploitation, depending on our sartorial tastes) and Brooke showed up to be the latest of many to tell Hope that she's the most perfect young woman to ever have girl parts and how she's changed the world and ended war and poverty by her virtue alone because, again, everyone the world over wants to know what some fashion designer's stepdaughter does or does not do in the bedroom and builds their lives around it.
And then Brooke went on to explain that she doesn't want Hope to change for some man (okay, good advice there) and how Liam ending up with someone as awful as Steffy makes him the loser which... I mean yes, Steffy is awful, but isn't there a point at which you have to ease off insulting the daughter of the love of your life? A woman you actually had a hand in raising? I'm all for Brooke putting her own daughter before Ridge's daughter (especially since Ridge's daughter has a vendetta and is frequently scheming against her and hers), but retract the claws a bit and be a little bigger than the kiddie games, okay? These people are way too involved in the rivalries of their allegedly adult children. And then Brooke cried a little and it got really creepy because I think she means to make up for her own past sexual transgressions by putting a padlock on her daughter's hoo-ha. Make it stop!
But it did not stop, and it somehow magically turned Hope around and she decided she was going to embrace her values more than ever and move on and celebrate life and continue being Mother Teresa or some such, and then she went up on the roof to have MORE OF THE EXACT SAME HOPE/LIAM FLASHBACKS that we have been getting in daily doses for months now and then Liam showed up and they started making out while Brooke just stood there staring.
All of that really happened. I'm not exaggerating here.
Now, I'm as glad as anyone to see (something near?) the end of the whole Steffy/Liam/Hope/Thomas saga, but I may need to file it under "be careful what you wish for" if it means a return to the tedious and saccharine pairing of Liam and Hope. And why would she take him back anyway? He made out with her sort-of-stepsister while they were engaged and then screwed and married her five seconds after Hope dumped him, and then right after he was married ran around chasing and kissing Hope instead of his actual wife! And so for the seven-hundredth time, I have to ask: why is this man a catch?
That's all I got. I imagine we'll have some more excellent fireworks tomorrow at the cliff house and some more sugary schmaltz over at Forrester Creations. At least half of it will be fun!