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« The Rare and the Missing | Main | The Final and the Obligatory »

February 28, 2012

In Which Rewriting History Makes Me Squeal, Not Squawk

Noted medical professional Lisa Lisa once warned the masses, with the aid of some catchy beats, of the phenomenon known as being "all cried out" and while I coudn't find this diagnosis during my latest visit to WebMD.com, I know in my heart that it is real and that my condition was caused by the last few days of General Hospital, which has continued to devastate me to the point where I am seriously (I am being melodramatic, not really serious) (maybe I am being a little bit serious) concerned about dehydration. People are going to start questioning the dark circles under my red, puffy eyes and will probably start to recommend all sorts of multivitamins, which is probably better than the backing away slowly they will do once I explain to them that this is all General Hospital related and everything related to Robin Scorpio, from flashbacks to angelic (?) visits makes me weep an ugly weep.

So in the interest of my own health, I am going to focus on the most silvery of silver linings that today brought us, instead of talking about Maxie learning the truth about Robin, because that--and Jen Lilly's fantasticness. She's uber-talented, isn't she? I still have goosebumps--made me cry, and instead of talking about the fate of little Hope, who I don't even "know", really, but am depressed about all the same because the youth mortality rates in Port Charles are staggering.  Because amidst the tears, there WAS a cackle and a grateful thanks to Ron Carlivati for righting one of Bob Guza's most ridiculous wrongs.

Holly: Ethan isn't a Spencer, he's a Scorpio.
Helena: Well, he doesn't use Luke's name, but he carries his DNA.
Holly: No, he doesn't.
Luke: What are we doing here, Holly?
Holly: I'm finally coming clean. I should have talked to you about this a long time ago. Both of you. I'm sorry.
Helena: Well, this is a transparent attempt to save your son's life.
Holly: It's the truth. Luke isn't Ethan's father, Robert Scorpio is. This isn't the way I wanted it to come out.
Ethan: No! We had DNA tests. We had several of them.
Holly: They were doctored.
Ethan: That can't be.
Luke: Well, you swore to me. But then you've always been a spectacular liar.

This exchange contained all sorts of nuggets of amazing, each more delightful than the last. First and foremost, it handily retconned one of the worst retcons in recent memory in all of three minutes. "Oh, that? Yeah, no, it never happened. Moving on." I can only hope that Holly's explanation is as lackluster as this big reveal. "Why'd I lie? Eh. Because of reasons, and the thing...at the place."

Then there was Ethan's "BUT WHAT OF THE DNA TESTS?!?!" rationalizing. I know that he doesn't KNOW that he's on a soap opera, but surely he knows enough people in Port Charles by now to know that DNA tests are almost exclusively wrong in this town.

THEN there was the HILARIOUS facial expressions he and Luke get making every time Holly dropped a bombshell.

CATV8_20120228_144318-vi

CATV8_20120228_1444-vi
It's like Tony Geary and Nathan Parsons forgot this soap operas aren't a silent medium (regardless of how much I wish they were sometimes) and that eyes don't need to be THAT wide.

But the loudest cackle? The came from reading this interview again...specifically, this passage:

On What Luke has learned from Ethan: "To love life again", states Geary. "Luke has been looking at life as if it were over, the best years gone. He's not kicking it with the relish that he used to. Ethan is reacquainting him with the reasons he loves life. They're so amazingly connected."

They might actually need to invent a new word for "hilarious" just to describe that answer.

Comments

I don't have any problem with taking away Luke's favorite child, but no way do I believe this maroon is a Scorpio.

I'm probably in the minority on this, but after Maxie's 300 wpm shrill blathering to Spinelli, it didn't matter one iota how she would react to Robin's death.

Um the only reason Ethan became a Spencer versus being a Scorpio is Tony Geary. I remember Tristan doing an interview back in 2009 where he talked about how Ethan was suppose to be Robert's son but then things changed. Tony found some great connection with Nathan and wanted Ethan for Luke's son. Of course Bob was happy to write that because both Bob and Tony love trashing Luke and Laura's happy life and turning it into misery.

I get that Tony wants more for himself and his character than just being half of Luke & Laura, but that doesn't have to be accomplished by tarnishing Holly, taking Robert's son, and having him bang prostitutes all over the world. I hope they are able to fix Luke & Laura, in spite of Tony's feelings on the matter.

Luke & Laura, Duke & Anna, Robert & Holly= Destiny for me.

@Dolphin. I feel you. I can't stand anything about Maxie. She is self centered twit and Robin being gone won't change that. If she didn't change when Georgie died, she won't with Robin being gone. In fact, I see it getting worse. Maxie is a useless character IMO. @Lavery4Life, thank you bringing up that interview with Tristan. It again explains why Ethan was so front and center when GV was Lucky and then ignored by Luke altogether when JJ came back as Lucky. It's all about who TG has a "connection" with. God, can he go away now? Go on one of his long vacations and never come back.

Tony Geary didn't get his way and he lost his favorite soap child. Hahahahahahaha!

*dances maliciously*

How wonderful would it be if the new regime didn't allow Tony to dictate story and he quit for good? That would be INCREDIBLY WONDERFUL. (Not as wonderful as Sonny not being the star of the show, but hell, that's never going to change.)

Michael figured out that his father is responsible for Anthony's car crash and so is responsible for Hope and Cole dying. They were rushing to stop him from going after Anthony. That is why he feels so terrible and now feels responsible for Starr and is taking the blame for what happened.

I laughed at the Sonny flashback of giving the tree to Robin. It's his only memory of ever doing anything nice and unselfish for her. I do admit that he was almost bearable to watch though. Frank V is on the floor and watching their every move!

I hate when soap characters have something vital to say and just let the other character ramble on and on and on without interrupting. How hard is it to just yell at them to shut the hell up and listen for once. My eyes were rolling and that took every bit of drama and sadness out of the scene for me.

RAGE RAGE RAGE! GhostRobin.. get the f*ck out of that surgery and visit your DAUGHTER. She is much much much more important then whether or not Jason lives. Ugh. I hate this so much I could scream.

I can't get excited about Ethan being a Scorpio because that doesn't really right the real wrong which was Luke and Holly betraying Laura and Robert by having an affair. And it makes Holly sound even worse that she slept with Robert right after and was trying to pass Ethan off as Luke's because she's been in love with Luke all this time? I mean WTF?

Otherwise, I think the show seems better. Better pacing, more drama, more action.

I'm suprised at the vitrol for Sam around here (although I shouldn't be). If my husband could die any moment and Patrick had insisted he was the ONLY qualified person to do the surgery, I wouldn't have done a thing differently than Sam. Especially knowing that Robin had specifically went back in for that very formula (stupid move, but her own decision). I wouldn't let someone I love possibly die just because I didn't want to impede on someone's mourning.

Y'all, Robin is NOT Dead! That was NOT Robin's "Ghost" in the OR with Patrick, but a manifestation of his conscience in the form of Robin--no one else in the OR was asking who he was talking to, and it was all in his mind.

If it's all in Patrick's mind, then why did Jason dream about her wearing the same exact outfit and why did she appear in the hallway next to Patrick and he didn't see her that time?

Either way.. it makes me sick.

She appeared in the same thing to Robert today and said things to him that Robin would not say. She was a manisfestation of Robert's guilt. I just think wardrobe was being cheap in the clothing department. Robin is not a ghost. She is coming up in their subconscious. The way she acted towards Robert pretty much showed that to me today.

On another note......UGH! Ethan still belongs to Luke. Can they both (AND HOLLY) just leave.....NOW.

I'm suprised at the vitrol for Sam around here (although I shouldn't be). If my husband could die any moment and Patrick had insisted he was the ONLY qualified person to do the surgery, I wouldn't have done a thing differently than Sam. Especially knowing that Robin had specifically went back in for that very formula (stupid move, but her own decision). I wouldn't let someone I love possibly die just because I didn't want to impede on someone's mourning.

---------------------
SaneN85,i was thinking the same thing and i dont even like Sam.

For me, personally? The problem with Sam was that there was no sense of urgency with Jason's illness. If they had really ramped that up in recent weeks--at least have him in a hospital gown and not his regular clothes, asking to go home, I think it would have played better for me and really raised the stakes (Not that I think Jason would EVER die, but still) of how important it was for Patrick to do the surgery right away.

IA Mallory, that's what my problem is. They didn't really sale that Jason was at death door and about to embark into the after life. He was in his room basically bored. They showed him having headaches in the hospital room where he didn't collapse, have a grand mal seizure, and end up hooked up to a machine or anything like that and this was before Robin even found a cure. So they never sold us that Jason was so in dire need of this surgery that this procedure couldn't wait a few days. And they didn't sale us on the fact that the next headache could kill Jason when he had like 2 or three of them already in the hospital that went away and didn't have any lasting effects like paralysis or even a nose bleed.

I also agree that the lack of urgency conveyed by Jason and Sam regarding his health is a major reason why people are being so negative towards Sam. Jason did not look like he was going to die at any second. Heck, he didn't even look like he belonged in the hospital. For the most part, people in hospitals LOOK like they belong there. Like you said Mallory, they could have at least had him in a hospital gown instead of his signature black t-shirt. I swear that shirt reminds me of Fonzie forever wearing his leather jacket. I'd have even settled for a black hospital gown :) I think some viewers(like myself) would still find Sam's behavior cold and unsympathetic but at least it would make sense and it would help toward understanding her situation better.

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