These People Are Just...Terrible At Their Jobs
Because I am an eternal pessimist, I knew--I just knew with absolute certainty, almost like a psychic vision, although such things happen with such regrettable certainty when it comes to General Hospital that it's less "psychic vision" and more "painful life experience"--that Robin's exit storyline would be torpedoed by a spectacular lack of caring on the part of the powers-that-be and that the best we could hope for was a handful of phenomenally performed scenes between Robin and her loved ones sandwiched in between Cassandra and Ethan talking vacantly and Olivia being obnoxious in the guise of "keeping it real".
But I didn't think that asking for two full minutes between Robin and her Uncle Mac was a greedy and excessive wish. Apparently, though, it was. All this relationship merited was 46 seconds of screentime. Yes, I timed it, because I am an overly invested freak, but REALLY, 46 SECONDS. That is a slap in the damn face to anyone who loves the Scorpio family, and General Hospital history and the adjective "soapy".
Patrick: No, stop it. We are not putting our life on hold. You did that already when, for weeks, you didn't tell me that your viral load is unstable because you didn't feel --
Mac: Or anyone else, for that matter.
Robin: Uncle Mac.
Mac: What is going on?
Robin: I just -- I-I had a scare.
Mac: About your viral load?
Mac: What happened?
Robin: I'm on a new protocol now, and we have every reason to believe that it's going to work.
Mac: The night I found you on the bridge, the anniversary of stone's death -- you knew, right? You didn't say anything.
Robin: I know. I'm sorry. I -- you know, after everything I went through with Stone, I just got panicked.
Mac: "Went through." Robin, exactly -- "went through." That's what people do when they love each other. I would have been there. I should have been.
Robin: I know, it's -- it's my fault. I'm sorry. It's okay.
That's IT. Any scene between Robin and Mac at this point should have me sobbing to the point of wheezing, not sitting there impatiently waiting for followup scenes that never came.
To put it in perspective, these are things that the General Hospital powers-that-be consider more compelling than Robin and Mac sharing an emotional, moving scene:
- Sonny and Kate arguing about I cannot even tell you what, because I could not hear any of their dialogue over the scenes of my laughter, because holy hell, that was some of the worst acting ever put on film. When an over-actor meets an actor criminally unprepared to film his scenes, it's like something out of my nightmares, or a particularly bad high school performance of Grease.
- Menopause humor! Isn't it hilarious that Alexis is going through menopause and didn't know it? And isn't even more hilarious and not at all gross that it led to a frank discussion of Sonny's sperm? HAHAHA, I hate my life.
- A character who has been on the show for about a minute taunting a character who has been around for a while, but who is so uninteresting and useless that I always think of him as being brand new, about the secret (and, I'm assuming, boring) events of their past that happened offscreen.
This effing show.