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« A Totally and Surprisingly Non-Horrible Valentine's Day | Main | Hatred. All Caps, Italicized Hatred. »

February 16, 2012

What is WRONG with Dante?! (and Other Pressing Questions)

That seemed to be the question of the day. Hilariously. I can't help but watch these episode in light of the recent full court press by the General Hospital cast and staff (and the soap press in general) to get people to tune in to the show to keep it on the air. What if someone's just peeking in for the first time? What must this look like to them?

Based on today's episode, they must have an awful lot of questions. For instance:

- This Sonny guy has dimples and is all dark and handsome and he's really nice to that Kate lady! Why is she so nervous about making him happy? He's such a swell guy, what could he ever have done that would have made her nervous or sad? This sure is a couple to root for!

- Why does this Jason fellow end every scene with the same facial expression?

Jasonlook2

Jasonlook3

Jasonlook

Jasonlook4

- Isn't it sweet that they feature this Spinelli person, clearly a very brain-damaged boy, in the regular cast of characters? How charming that he responded to news of Sam's pregnancy as a three-year-old boy would!

- Didn't I hear a rumor that this Sam woman recently went through a terrible trauma? Guess not, since the show's not addressing it!

- Why are there two women who seem like they're cousins having an argument about the dark-haired cousin's dress length being too short when... it's the exact same length as the fair-haired cousin's dress? And why are they referring to the fair-haired cousin in the third-person, as "Connie?" 

- That's so sweet that the Sonny character is giving a bunch of money to the hospital to save people! Why are Johnny and some of the other characters acting like it's not super-sweet? Clearly all this chatter about his being up to something less-than-legal is just speculation because, after all, why would all of these upstanding citizens show up to a blood-money party?

- Why is anyone allowed to just burst in to a medical lab and gossip at that tiny brunette doctor?

- And surely the biggest question from someone just tuning in: what is wrong with this Dante jerk? His dad is trying to do a super-nice thing in his name and he's throwing a temper tantrum! Look how shocked -- shocked! -- people are by his rude behavior!

Sonnyshocked
His daddy is shocked!

Maxshocked
The nice cuddly man who helps out his daddy is shocked!

Oliviashocked
His mommy is shocked!

  Kateshocked

His mommy's cousin is shocked!

I mean really, what a jerk! This is for a hospital wing! Why did he fly off the handle? All he overheard was his daddy talking to a co-worker about finding out what kind of product somebody was shipping in. So they're stevedores, right? What's this Dante fella have against longshoremen? That seems classist. And then he seemed upset that he'd been shot by one of his daddy's enemies. Get over it, Dante! I mean, right? Someone shot him, sure, but it's not like his daddy ever shot him! I mean, right? Right?!

Well, at least I imagine those are the pressing questions nagging at a brand new viewer. Don't you almost envy them? Because as a long-time viewer, I really only had one question:

- CAN'T SOMEBODY PLEASE FIX IT PLEASE?

Comments

Louise, those aren't the questions this newish viewer was asking...

Today was basically an exercise in bad taste and audience torture. Virtually the whole show was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Literally.

GAWD, the show was just horrendous - with the exception of a few Johnny moments, and of course Robin's scenes WITHOUT those horrific hags. And I use "hags" in a gender neutral form, because Matt was just as annoying and just as stupid as Maxie. And they both are dumber and more insensitive and selfish than even Ryass and the Greenlee Troll were. And their voices alone were enough to scare all the cats in the neighborhood out of 8 lives.

Then, throw in Carly in her witch/bitch mode and I was scrabbling for ear plugs.

To top it all off, that cringe-inducing frog fetus of a person, Spinelli. My head was ready to explode.

Can Sonny and Kate get any more low class than they obviously are? Sure they can - he can stick his tongue down her throat and mine for diamonds in the middle of a HOSPITAL BENEFIT. Class act, all the way, the two of them. Yeah, they're a LOOOOONG way from Bensonhurst.....

I have taken an instant and enduring dislike to Olivia. She reminds me of Kwak Carey from AMC way too much. Has that all-knowing smirk on her face all the time, sashays around like her hip replacements came loose, and manages to make Sonny look eddukaated. And the garbage that comes out of her mouth - somebody shut her up. She's well matched with that lounge lizard Steve.

Oh, almost forgot, the slimy TJ was on today too.

Is this Garin Wolf's final gift to the audience, since he got canned? Put all the most irritating characters, AT their most annoying on the same day, and then turn up the volume?

I'm with Alexis. Gimme a cocktail.

And, Oh Wise Rulers at GH, you have FREAKIN' Finola Hughes in town!!! USE HER, like every single frickin' day.

Thanks, Louise! As always, your column rocks!

Enjoy the hate coming from Dante while you can, because VAGUE SPOILER Dante is about to be a lot nicer to Sonny.

Not using Finila Hughes is shameful but ONLY using Robin to prop Jason in her every scene is just as shameful. I mean, how many times had "I am trying to save Jason's life" come out of her mouth in today's episode. If I didn't dislike Matt and Maxie so much I would've appreciated their nonchalance toward that statement. But, they were being complete asshats barging into a medical lab to harass a working doctor! Carly claims to love Jason but works the nerves of the woman trying to save his life! Why does everyone in Port Charles lack self awareness? Why do I continue to wonder? Ugh.

Other questions:
- Will we see Elizabeth glammed-up for the benefit?
- Can Alexis get another dress? She's worn the dress before and while it's beautiful, she doesn't get dressed up enough for repeats.
- Could Olivia's hair look more strange?
- Could Carly look any more dowdy for a benefit?

@ Ron - I don't like TJ but I don't think he's slimy, just over-the-top. I think it's outrageous he's written as being illiterate. Wrong on so many levels.

I have no doubt that Valentini is using Finola Hughes every bit that he can afford -- he's famous for filming out of order and in creative blocks so he can get more bang for the buck.

I noticed a lot of the GH actresses chatting on Twitter about how long they had to wear those dresses... doesn't bode well for finishing up this benefit party quickly. Ugh.

Was wardrobe a department that took a hit when FV came on to run the show?

Because Olivia's dress looked someone just cut parts out of it to make it look new and "fancy" -- without bothering with anything like "seams" or "finishing."


And really, that's all I have to say about today's episode.

Other than I agree with Ron that there was way. too. much. screeching.

Another thing - a new viewer is probably also asking, "THAT'S Dante's mom?"

I don't know if the wardrobe budget took a hit, but it sure looks like they fired their professional hair dresser and are using a beauty school drop out to save money.

Today's eppy for me went back and forth between dumb and dumber and heavily annoying.

Poor Robin can't get any work done because of annoying ass people bothering her and making noise. Although I do think this Jason's brain swelling storyline is stupid because you can usually put a shunt in stuff like that, the fact that Matt and Maxie are so absorbed in their wants and needs that they don't care that Robin can't get her work done to save a friend's life is so WTF. Carly also worried about how Jason's dying will impact her to the point where she was distracting and questioning Robin was annoying as well.

I'm just going to put it out there. I hate Dante. I hate that character with a passion. Especially when it comes to Sonny. It's like piss and get off the damn pot please. When Sonny calls him, when Sonny ask him to come over. All he has to do is not go or answer the phone. When Sonny is walking down the street and he sees him, walk the other way. It's like stay away from Sonny or stop bitching because you will notice majority of the time, it's Dante going to Sonny, not Sonny going to Dante. I'm so damn sick of him mentioning his shootings. In mob, in gangs, in anything of criminal activity at the level sonny is in, when you are found out to be a rat, you get shot. Period. It doesn't matter if you're an undercover cop and you don't have a gun, you will still get shot. As for this second shooting, he needs to squash that shooting. He doesn't need to be in Sonny's face over that shooting. Why? Because he was breaking and entering when he went into Sonny's warehouse. If he had never broke and entered, he would have never got shot. He was not working as a policeman that night. He was breaking the law.

I'm over Johnny and his supposed pain. I get it, his mother pretended to be his sister. She was still in his life. I'm not understanding all this 'pain' he's supposed to be going through to the point he's self-destructing. His pain is just getting annoying. Why don't he go ask Jack Nicholson how he handled the situation when he found out his sister was his mother. That way we can get past this storyline.

Jason and Sam. Lawd, dumb and dumber together. Can we not get a break from them being on screen? I thought for sure today I was going to get to see different women in beautiful gowns coming to this benefit, only to find Elizabeth hasn't arrived yet, so we don't get to see how she looks, Lulu is sick, so we don't get to see her dressed up, Diane is MIA so no dress up, Monica and Tracy either aren't coming or haven't arrived yet so we don't get to see them dressed up.

But Sam's breasts almost falling out of that tank top, we get to see for the fourth day in a row when frankly both her and Jason could have taken a break from my screen today. And then we had to endure 'what does this mean' and 'find out everything you can about this DVD' today but yet I guess the person that was around during that time, and just might be able to shed a little light on this is not even thought about. That's right, I'm talking about Monica. And let's not forget how we had to endure Spin jumping around with joy at the fact that Sam is having Jason's baby, like this will be the first time Jason has ever had a child. Then I have to remember that in Elizabeth's world, everyone that knows Elizabeth and interacts with Elizabeth knows that Jake existed wheras in Jason's world, everyone that knows Jason and interacts with Jason has to react like Jake never existed and this is the first time Jason has ever had a child.

All I'm saying that if RC brings Jake back from the dead and has someone like Helena kidnap him or something, Elizabeth better be on this adventure, leading the charge, finding him and bringing him home, while Jason with his punkass better be sitting in his penthouse twiddling his thumbs wondering what black shirt he's going to put on today: long sleeves or short.

And with that my rant is over.

Frenchie's doing the hair on GH!

Please forgive me for this, but a new viewer would probably see Jason and wonder who cut the cheese on set.

@kermitklein - Rant on! I look forward to your rants and really should start scrapbooking every one!

Yeah, if you're found to be a rat in the mob you get shot, Dante knows that and took the risk, but if you're the rat who gets shot people don't normally expect you to then cozy up to the attempted killer afterwards and yell at you for holding a grudge about it. Sonny's an ass for expecting it and Olivia's an ass for encouraging it.

I believe that Lucky was supposed to go to the warehouse that night as a cop (based on an anonymous tip that Sonny was running drugs out of the coffee warehouse)-but he was under the weather after all the drugs, so Dante filled in. Doing a favor for his friend, who is Lulu's brother, whose wife had just been murdered. But I think Dante was acting as a cop the night Anthony broke in and shot him while Johnny was planting drugs.

I would like someone besides Dante to actually care that an unknown person shot him. I would like anyone to care that Siobhan, the wife of a cop, was murdered. Coincidentally by the same person who shot Dante.

And when Dante goes over to Sonny's, it's because Sonny has either asked him to or has come over and left a check for $100,000 as a wedding present. I don't think I've seen Dante just go over to tell Sonny to back off unless Sonny has done something that makes Dante want him to back off. I have seen Sonny go to Dante's place of work and ask him for favors-mostly for Michael.

And I don't think the benefit is nearly done-holidays on GH usually last for at least a week.

I think since RC was the one who worked to get Finola Hughes back, he might be wanting to be the one who is actually writing for her and his writing hasn't started. More's the pity.

JMO.

When does RC's work appear on screen?

Added: Great column, Louise. Echoing your "Fix it."

I'm kinda glad I'm a long-time viewer, because I'll actually be able to see the improvements when RC's stuff kicks in. Say what you will-the guy is not boring.

But I do both pity and envy a first time viewer trying to figure out the ins and outs of GH.

The thing about it is that Dante wasn't at work. He was not on duty. We know this because Lulu called work only to find out he wasn't working.

And it doesn't matter if Sonny continues to call him, my point is, don't go. He doesn't have to go. Maybe if he doesn't go Sonny will officially get the message that Dante isn't interested in a relationship with him, but to continue to go over to Sonny, only makes Sonny thinks he has a chance at a relationship.

Like all this week we had to listen to him rant and rave about how he didn't want to go to this benefit and if he goes to this benefit, he's not going to be able to contain himself. He went there to pick a fight. Sonny could have said "Is it broken?" and could have been talking about the espresso machine at his restaurant and Dante would have jumped on Sonny interpreting it as he broke someone's leg. I'm just sick of Dante and his crap and maybe I would be alright with it if Dante wasn't such a damn hypocrite. Luke tells him to his face that he was drinking and speeding the night that Jake died, and it's written up as an accident and he does the questioning while his girlfriend who is Luke's daughter is in the room. Lucky burns down a house, he covered that up, and if they had followed through with the storyline, Luke would have arrested for it since that's who Mac believed did it and Dante didn't contradict that. Lulu burns down the bordello and he didn't say anything about it. Michael is standing over a dead body with a gun and he tells Michael to get out of there. Olivia is a prime suspect in Lisa's murder and the only reason he gets on the case is to protect his mother because you know if it was evidence she had did it, he would have covered that up. And let's not even start with the covering up of the Balkan's son's death because he thought he was in love with Brenda.

Also there was no anonymous tip. Dante and Lucky decided amongst themselves that they would scout out Sonny's businesses because of Jason and Sam getting married, it would be a good time for Sonny's enemies to attack. It wasn't police business. They weren't assigned to do this. They decided this on their own. And Lucky bailed because of his drug problems so Dante went alone.

If someone shot me, I'd reserve the right to dilly dally about whether I want a relationship as much as possible, if dilly dallying is what I wanted to do.

I wish Dante would stay away from Sonny as much as you do, kermitklein.

I hate to put a lot of pressure on RC/FV, BUT,,,they need to clean house!

What the what what is Kate wearing?? It's like Forever 21 meets Hookers-R-Us, and she has the nerve to say something about Olivia's kindergarten project dress?

And Olivia's hair! Someone Twitter said it looked like she was attending a Quinceañera.

Then Kate's hair looks like some kind of semi-Shirley-Temple thing that I swear I can hear crunching every time she moves, there's so much product in there. NOT a good look.

I did love Carly's earrings for some reason. You can tell how bored I am, because I became hypnotized watching them swing around when she talked to Sean and trying to figure out the pattern in them. I heard nothing of the conversation.

I really wanted Robin to throw sulfuric acid in Matt's face - and Maxie's. I loathe them both.

"I really wanted Robin to throw sulfuric acid in Matt's face - and Maxie's. I loathe them both."

////

Now, that's what I'd call entertainment! To quote Debbie Gibson: "Only in my dreams."

Franco: serial killer = bad guy

Jason: mob enforcer who only killed people who deserved it = good guy

Steve Burton has some serious Johnny Bravo hair in that last screen shot.

That's all I've got.

I loved RC and FV's work on OLTL, but I'm so afraid this lax security in the lab is just going to encourage more DNA switches, and I don't know if I can handle anymore of those.

Sonny has way TOO many exes and one current girlfriend on the show (Carly, Alexis, Kate, Sam and Olivia). It is time to clean house.

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