Back to Basics
There's so much going on on the show right now that I knew I'd neglect major points if I didn't just recap today's whole episode of General Hospital (well, lord knows I'll neglect plenty anyway). So here goes. This might hurt!
Kate was expecting Johnny, apparently. I imagine he thinks she's Connie but she's not.
Maxie runs into Ewen, who drops his file on Kate. Apparently now psychiatrists create files on potential patients and not just actual patients. And there we go, right there on the label it says "DID" -- I mean who wouldn't label it that way! The admin folks need to know to file it away with GH's many other casually-diagnosed D.I.D. cases. Maxie, of course, assumes it means Kate "did" something, because that makes perfect sense to just label a psychiatric file with a past tense helping verb. The "Did" files of course go after the "Been" files but before the "Was" files.
Liz and Matt are at the home of the Widower Drake, planning Robin's funeral. Planning a funeral gets screentime? Really? But she died weeks ago (even though I think in show time it's only a day or two). You mean to tell me they're not just all going to pop up in black clothes saying how lovely the off-screen funeral was and never mention it again? There really is a new sheriff in town.
Speaking of which, Todd yells at Sonny in the courtroom (into which it's simple-dimple to bring a firearm) as Blair and Carly and Michael and Starr rush in to try to stop him. This does not deter him, as he loves his daughter so much that he means to murder someone in front of her (he sure has learned his lesson!), and a shot goes off. But no! Sonny hasn't just been shot (again)! It's John McBain, firing a warning shot into the air with his hilarious trademark pursed lips. It's quite an entrance.
Carly asks Blair who he is, and sadly Blair doesn't manage to answer, "Another of my ex-husbands, what."
After the credits, whose theme song was apparently composed on the portable Casio keyboard I got for my birthday in the sixth grade, Maxie asks Ewen a few questions about what happened in the lab. Ewen tells her what he knows from the staff briefing, and it confirms Maxie's worst fears that she likely caused the explosion.
Oh yeah! Johnny somehow knew about Steve having pulled the plug on a patient in Memphis. Steve surmises that Johnny investigated him to make sure Olivia really was dating a squeaky clean guy. Olivia aptly points out that Johnny decided the best way to make certain of that was to turn Steve into a mob doctor and implicate him in a bunch of local crimes.
Anthony fills Tracy in on what happened the night of the car accident.
A bunch of guards come in and John has to show his badge to prove that he's a cop, so he too was able to just enter the courthouse with a weapon. Sonny tells the guards that they should go get the gun off Todd that Todd just used to "try to kill" Sonny. Apparently when Todd points a gun at someone with intent to kill but is stopped from doing it, it's "trying to kill" someone and is illegal, but when Sonny does the same thing, no crime has been committed. They cuff Todd and then Starr tries to murder Sonny with a dirty look and an impolite introduction.
Liz talks to Matt about what Maxie must be going through, and uses her own experience with grief to encourage Matt to not take it personally when Maxie pushes him away.
Maxie talks to Ewen about her relationship with Robin and how lost she'll be without her. She tells him she feels guilty.
Tracy dresses down Anthony for having participated in a feud that resulted in Cole and Hope's deaths. She threatens to call Sonny to tell him where Anthony is.
Carly tries to impress upon Sonny how dangerous Todd is, but Sonny isn't moved. He has many enemies. This is a typical day.
Starr thanks John for getting there when he did. John tells Starr that he notified Cole's parents, Marty and Patrick. Of course Patrick is supposed to be dead and Marty is a murderer-at-large, and Cole was actually not supposed to be alive anyway, but John makes no mention of this so I don't what the hell is going on.
Kate, in a criminal amount of makeup, insists to Johnny that there's no way she came to his house and propositioned him the other night.
He pushes her until "Connie" comes out, and of course the first thing she does is take down her hair so we don't get confused about who is who. I can't wait to meet her next personality, who manifests itself by a much tighter pulled-back hair-do and glasses.
Tracy yells at Anthony some more. And then Carly says the most hysterical thing to Todd. He tells her he's sure Sonny is guilty, and Carly insists that if Sonny really is guilty, he'll be tried and convicted. That was really high comedy. And by "high comedy," I might mean, "in order to say shit like this with straight faces these people must be high."
Starr asks Michael if he ever feels like she does, which is that she feels somewhat responsible for all the horrible things her father does. Michael of course explains that it's not like that with his father (because Sonny doesn't do horrible things, naturally) and that she's clearly the only good thing about her father. Ah, wise Michael and his total lack of self-awareness or real empathy. Oh wait, I just remembered who raised him.
John McBain and Sonny exchange greetings, revealing that they knew each other a long time ago.
Ewen explains to Maxie that guilt is a normal part of grief, so there's a couple different conversations happening here since he doesn't know what she's actually feeling guilty about.
Matt tells Liz she's getting de-suspended (is that a word?), and Liz asks him to watch the slide show she made of Robin for the funeral. Appropriately, he points out that this will make him bawl his eyes out, and she suggests that bawling their eyes out together would be better than doing it alone.
Olivia blurts out that she loves Steve, which is good since they've sort of been dating since, like, December 2010 or January 2011 or so, right? Cripey!
Carly asks Todd about John and Todd explains that John has remarkably attractive hair but no sense of humor, which makes me a little sad. Remember when Todd first showed up back in Llanview and he and John had some beers and a chat that was actually chock-full of excellent dry observational humor from both parties? (Well, I imagine some of you do and some of you don't, for obvious reasons which make me too weepy to type out.)
Sonny refers to himself as a "survivor" and tells John that he's as self-righteous as ever (pot, meet kettle and all). John says that Cole was like a son to him (and didn't mention that Cole was actually an escaped murderer whose death had been faked), so this is personal. John McBain's smug usually annoys me, but directed at Sonny? What's this weird feeling of delight?
Maxie talks to Ewen about how Robin was her safe place. Matt and Liz show up, and Liz thanks Maxie for having helped get her re-instated and extended her sympathies about Robin. And... oh no, this next part made me cry!
Liz: I'm really sorry about Robin. She was one of my closest friends but I know she was like a sister to you.
Maxie: (through tears) Yeah. I loved her so much.
Liz: You know, she tried to explain you to me on more than one occasion. She said you give really good advice.
Maxie: (gasping for breath) She did?
Liz: Whenever she was pulling her hair out about Patrick she used to tell me that she just needed to talk to you, that you always put things into perspective and that you were way more insightful than you realized. Robin said she could count on you for anything.
And then while I'm trying not to openly bawl in front of my very judge-y dog, Maxie runs off and Matt goes after her. (Seriously I loved that, as enemies-rise-above-their-difference-in-trauma-and-grief is one of my very favorite soap tropes.)
Kate, who is half-naked as Connie and making out with Johnny, re-emerges and freaks out and slaps Johnny and shrieks for him to get out while she sobs at her desk.
Sonny and John continue their smug-off. Michael gives Starr a family photo she left at the hospital. Todd asks Carly if she thinks he killed his brother (so apparently he's questioning the veracity of his own memory, which is a good thing now, although at this point not-killing-Victor does little for him legally in light of kidnapping and framing Tomas and faking Cole's death to aid his escape from prison... but then again we'll see, since this is a soap and folks have gotten off for much worse daily).
Instead of immediately contacting Olivia to let her know that her cousin is in desperate need of serious help, Johnny goes back to have another boring conversation with Anthony. Olivia calls Steve from Johnny's hallway to tell him she thinks she's got the whole Johnny-blackmailing-Steve thing under control, as Kate's back at her office crying at her face in the mirror. (Hint: less makeup, fewer mascara-down-the-cheek stains!)
Starr tells Michael she's sure Sonny's guilty but for his sake she wishes it weren't true, and tells him not to blame himself. Starr says she'll see him when she comes back to town to testify. Blair and Todd spar verbally, as they do, and Blair tells Todd to shut up, to which he responds, "I love you, too." (Damn right!)
Carly asks Sonny about his history with McBain, with whom he exchanges a sarcastic smile.
The end. Uh... shit. Robin's funeral starts tomorrow. I'm frightened. Hold me, y'all?