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« Did They Think My Heart Wasn't Broken Enough? | Main | The Boring and the Disappointed »

March 07, 2012

Oh, No, He Did NOT

I cannot BELIEVE that I am actually going to type the following words, because they combine to form a sentence that will knock you out with its offensiveness and ridiculousness and sheer why?!edness--literally, it will knock you out, mostly because it will lead you forcefully smash your head against the nearest hard surface. Either way, unconsciousness is in your future. And hopefully it will bring with it a nice case of light memory loss, causing you to repress this bit of knowledge because of the aforementioned offensiveness and ridiculousness and sheer why?!edness.

Robert Scorpio is ditching his daughter's funeral to chase after Ethan Lovett, who he now believes to be his son.

I mean, WHAT, and WHY, and EXPLETIVE AFTER EXPELTIVE AFTER EXPLETIVE.

First of all, Robert would NEVER. He would just NEVER.

Secondly, Ethan is the worst. When Robert was excitedly (SERIOUSLY, HE WAS EXCITED AND CHIPPER) telling Anna and Mac about the slight change to his mourning schedule, the sane participants in the conversation kept sneering and I knew that while most of it was out of disgust for Robert going completely loco, at least thirty percent of it was disdain for Ethan and his status as a complete failure of a human being. To have Robert skip out on his child's funeral to chase after this marble-mouthed, greasy-haired loser who can't make it through an unintelligible sentence without smiling or guffawing inappropriately, is just...it's not even kicking viewers when we are down. It is forcibly holding us down and then running us over with heavy machinery.

Anna: You cannot leave until after Robin's funeral. You can't. Mac?
Robert: Mac's going to be here. Besides, he was always more of a father to Robin than I was.
Mac: Come on, Robin loved you, Robert.
Robert: I know that, but it wasn't enough. You were there when Stone died, when she was discovered to be HIV positive. You took her into a new life. She became a doctor, she got married, she had a child...
Anna: I know. We can never repay Mac for everything he did. We really can't.
Mac: I wanted to do it. All right? I loved Robin. You know that.
Anna: I know, I just think it's very important that we're all here to mourn her together. Could you not please just wait until after the funeral to go chasing off after your brand new son?
Robert: The odds are--they ran out for Robin. The same thing might happen to Ethan. If I could save him, perhaps in some small way...it could make up for failing my daughter.
Anna: Okay, what about failing me? I need you next to me for our child's funeral.
Robert: Mac will be here.

I hissed. I literally hissed with hatred.

But ohmigod, it gets worse. It gets EVEN WORSE. This is the last thing Robert said before he left Anna and Mac. And he said it CHIPPERLY.

Robert: Hey, you look after yourself, bro.

Couldn't you just vomit from the hatred you feel right now?

This sorry excuse for writing for a legacy character turned my stomach to the point that I was barely even able to get joy out of Carly's complete self-absorption and pathological immaturity.

Todd, who just confessed that his daughter is in the hospital and his young granddaughter is dead: Didn't you say there's someone in the hospital that you're not allowed to see?
Carly: Yeah, my best friend. I've been banned from his room out of just...meanness. Jealousy. Petty power play.

Under normal circumstances, that would have delighted me with its insanity and I would have imagined a crazy conversation between these two, with Carly completely devolving into a seventh grade girl the more she talked. But I couldn't even really enjoy it, because I heard the phrase "best friend" and then panicked. "OH MY GOD, what if Robert one day calls Ethan his best friend? I WILL KILL MYSELF!"

Comments

It took me a few minutes but I have diagnosed Robert as manic. Or in severe denial. Maybe KRAZY KAWWNY was protecting him.

Thank you, Mallory, for being just as PO'd as I was when I watched. This is NOT the real Robert Scorpio. The REAL Robert is being held hostage somewhere (and hopefully reunited with Robin since I'm in denial she's gone). This show makes me STABBY.

On a lighter note, thanks for keeping me entertained, I thoroughly enjoy your posts! :)

Mallory, I fear admitting it as we have never discussed it and it may lead you to forever banish me from posting about GH ever again but... I kinda love Ethan. HOWEVER. That said, as much as I do love Ethan (minus the heinous Cassandra/Irina business) (and it does me no good since he's gone anyway)? I'm right there with you. That was hideous and wrong. And Robert seemed downright giddy. What? NOT OKAY. NOT OKAY EVER.

Oddly, though, it doesn't make me hate Robert Scorpio ('cause that's not in me), but somehow just makes me hate Luke even more.

I think he shows up at the funeral. He has to. I refuse to believe anything else. Even if he doesn't, I will always assume that he's hanging out in the back of church unseen.

HOWever, I remember Robert and Anna's funeral -- in fact their whole death week. IT started with Mac not believing that Robert and Anna were dead, he was drunk after Holly and Sean told Robin (remember when Holly was a decent, if boring character?) Mac told Robin she didn't have to go to the funeral because he wasn't going. I believe he did tell her to go on the day of, then he spent the first half of the funeral episode at Robert adn Anna's house dealing with his own stuff and finally made an 11th hour decision to go and that's when he promised in front of everyone to watch out for Robin. I ahve to believe Robert will do something similar. He has to.

Seriously? Are you effin' kidding me? Did GH enter a parallel universe? Who is this guy, and what has he done with Robert Scorpio? This is just beyond...

I cannot even process the fact that the person I most wanted to punch in the face today was ROBERT. ROBERT SCORPIO!!!! And both Sonny and Carly were on today. I wanted to hit my adored Robert more than Sonny. And Carly. I just can't. I really, really can't.

OMG Word to this entire post about Robert Xavier Scorpio. There is no way in hell that he would not go to his own daughters funeral to go chasing after Ethan! ETHAN!! I would Tristan Rogers not come back at all if this is the shit RC and FV were going to pull with him! Hate!

Wasn't Helena gong to come back with the paternity results? Didn't she put something in place so that Ethan and Luke couldn't leave in the first place?

Writing is absolutely wonderful by this new regime, isn't it.

I've yet to see how this GH coming back to its glory days when this is the story given to the returning vets.

Part of me would like to give Robert the benefit of the doubt and believe Anna's assessment that he's just a little wonky in the think meat from grief over Robin's death. But... just... what?! He was happy. Happy I say! Over a kid that he never knew when the kid he did know just died? When in the fuck who??!! I could barely watch, I had to fast forward thru most of it.

Robert's whole transformation was more astounding when you consider that on the show - what, just a few hours had passed since he found out about Robin. Not a few days, but a few hours. And he was smiling at the thought that he had a son!

I was disgusted by it all. . . Luke disgust is nothing new. Robert disgust is a brand new feeling (cept for that nightshift?? moment when he laughed off allowing Robin to believe he'd been murdered).

Seriously. Rage. Denial. If he leaves, this is my alternate reality story, just so I can deal. . . He probably ran into not dead Robin on the way to Robin's house, or evidence that Robin is not dead and is giddy about going off and finding HER!!

Please.

Anything but Robert thinking it's ok to leave before his daughter's funeral. He's off his nut. I refuse to believe this is Robert Scorpio. I am experiencing Robert hate!!! Rats.

Well, I'm going to wait and see what happens with Robin's funeral before getting all upset about Robert leaving town.

Robert is in denial that Robin is dead and is trying to hold onto a kid that we know isn't his son, but the ultimate kicker would be for Helena to come back with the paternity results that show Robert is indeed Ethan's father. At least Ethan is allowed to leave town without being in a body bag!

What's truly sad, is Ethan was supposed to have been Robert's son from the very beginning until AG talked Guza into trashing more of LnL history.

I thought TR said he was on for seven (or nine) episodes, not days. So we still haven't seen all of Robert, right? So maybe there is hope.

But I question anyone who thought this new prodution/writing team was going to do anything different. This was the team that months after the announcement that OLTL was being cancelled and there were only 8-ish months left they continued to force newbie characters, continued a stupid porn ring story, pushed new families (the ford brothers) over legacy characters/families (Bo/Nora/Matthew) - why would it be any different here?

If they could have done this to Robert and the Scorpio legacy in less than two weeks, God help Anna Devane - she's probably up next, she'll be a Sonny floozy before long....

Wow, it's amazing to me that after giving Guza years and GW months to ruin this show , that RC and FV don't even get a couple of weeks before the condemnation starts.

To me, Robert leaving town on a quest that will make him feel less of a failure is considerably better than Robert jumping off a bridge and giving Anna two funerals to plan. I get that he is drowning in grief and that whether I like it or not, Luke has thrown him a lifeline. Mac was right-Robert had a purpose again and that would keep him alive. Luke was right-even if Robert hates him for the lie, at least he'll be alive. Anna got it and I finally got it. Everyone had a point of view-no one was totally right, but no one was completely wrong.

I thought the show was excellent today.

And Finola Hughes is getting kick ass writing for Anna. She and Mac have been simply amazing and very realistic in their grief.

Also loved the Carly and Todd scheming scenes. It was fun to see these two working together on a friendly partners in crime basis...but don't pair them up, please.

Someone. Please tell me today's episode was some sort of sick early April Fools' Day joke. Robert Scorpio just dumped his daughter's death and funeral for Holly's spawn? He just left the mother of his daughter(who repeatedly begged him to stay with her), his upset granddaughter and his heartbroken brother to plan a funeral so that he could have a little adventure with freaking ETHAN! The man was practically as giddy as a schoolgirl! WTF RC? I sincerly mean the WTF part.

Luke being a moronic scumbag I can buy. The man has become a sad pale asshole version of the old Luke.

The saving grace for today was Todd.

I think Tristan might indeed be done. I think he said he would be there for 6 episodes. I think his 6 are up with the next one where he is with Luke and Holly at Wyndemere. Yes, I was PISSED at yesterdays show. Not just with Robert, but with Todd and Carly "bonding", but like some others I am going with the Robert being in denial and his guilt eating away at him. That is the only way I can get away with not hating him right now. :/

I can't help but wonder if that giddiness was a bad acting choice. Of course, it doesn't excuse the writing. RON WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I hope that this is all some part of a denial mechanism for Robert and the reality of his behavior hits him and hits him hard.

While I agree that I'm not crazy about the idea that Robert is running off to save a "son" he never knew about instead of attending his daughters funeral...you've not even given the new OLTL writer/producer even a month before waging war? Come on, at least other characters are allowed to exist on the canvas and have dialogue in addition to the holy trinity of Sonny, Jason, and Carly! At least not everything ends in death and violence and that horrible Cassandra story was canned. Guza drove the show into the ground and you can't expect it to be fixed over night. I still thought OLTL aside from it's flaws was one of the best soaps running and did not deserve to be canceled. I started off watching GH prior to OLTL but stopped b/c I could not stand what Guza had done to the show and the characters. I'm back now and giving the new crew a chance. You can't fix a big hot mess overnight!
On a side note, was loving Todd and Carly scheming together and was cracking up over seeing them sneaking around in scrubs. They are a similar personality type--scheming and plotting and justifying all their tricks b/c of their love for those around them. Both a little narcassistic and go about things the wrong way, but you gotta love them anyway! (Although Carly needs a little more redeeming...but I love me some Todd!Love Laura Wright though!) I don't know if I want to see them together romantically though necessarily. I'm still a Todd and Blair fan to the end.

Since I've never been a fan of Carly, I found myself totally amazed at how I enjoyed "Mr. Pleasure's" encounter with Carly. They seemed totally at ease and I found myself thinking they'd make great co-conspirators. And they both (particularly RH) looked great in scrubs. Of course, my giddiness my have been partly fueled by the news that the talented Mr. Howarth will be back - under contract.

I have been a fan of GH for over 35 years Robert Scorpio, Anna Devane Scorpio and Robin Scorpio have always been my favorite characters & my favorite legacy family. What I saw yesterday just absolutely infuriated me. The Robert Scorpio that we know would never miss his own child's funeral. Yes he would be grief stricken because Robin meant everything to him. But he would also be wanting to talk to Patrick and investigate everything about this freak accident that took the life of his child. Not run off to save a son that is not even his. The Robert Scorpio we know would be demanding answers from Holly & demanding a DNA Test to prove he was the father.

I'm flabbergasted that this new regime could trash the history of this legacy family in just six episodes.

I realize this is a radical concept, but maybe before we denounce RC and FV, we could wait and see how this story plays out. Today, we get a Holly and Robert scene that just might clear someof this this up. But "trashing a legacy" seems just a little harsh to me. Guza is the legacy trasher-RC seems to be rebuilding it one stone at a time. No writer is perfect, but finally we're getting points of view for everyone. JMO.

Robert ditching to go find a brand new grown man son is on par with how the writers have written the entire story of Robin dying so far.I was not shocked or angry. I felt nothing which is the sad state these new super duper writers have left me with. I feel nothing at all. A vet character was just burned to death and its Eh business as usual for PC, with the exception of Patrick Robins husband who actually got a good reaction before he went off screen never to share a scene with any of Robins family except Anna, this entire story so far has been horrific and poorly written. Robert being the worse of all because he just saw his daughter's burned remains and had a goofy smile on his face...WHAT?????? Yes Guza IMO was bad, Yes GW was bad but I have NEVER seen anything worse then this. Where is the heart and emotion over Robin? little Robin who grew up before the eyes of loyal GH viewers?...RC did it wrong and no matter what there is no going back. Damage is done.

Didn't Tristan tweet something along the lines of "Things aren't what they seem." (something like that)? I can only hope it's in relation to this out of nowhere needing to get out of town to find Ethan, because otherwise, it's just nauseating.

Hoping this takes a turn for the better, because I agree that the REAL Robert Scorpio would NEVER skip town and miss Robin's funeral.

Why bring him back at all, if they were just going to trash the relationship between father and daughter even more? Considering how much this new regime has said the love and honor the glory days of GH, something is definitely "off" here.

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