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« With a Whimper and a Wail... | Main | The New Girl (Who's That Girl? It's Starr!) »

March 20, 2012

Port Charles, Town of Messy

I just need to get a few messages to the characters in that messy, messy town.

Dear Kate/Connie: There is NEVER ANY NEED FOR YOU TO PUT ON MORE MAKEUP. Never. Ever. You're covered. You don't need a touch-up. Ever. Ever.


Also, take it down a notch.

(Also, take a day off anytime now please.)

Dear Sonny: You really think that the way Kate's behaving means you're dealing with Kate? This makes sense to you, considering this is a person you allegedly know so well and you grew up together and you're just so bonded and close? I mean granted, nothing about this Kate has anything to do with the last woman-named-Kate-from-your-childhood that you dated (despite our being told otherwise), but it's not that confusing.

Also, how awesome was this? 

Sonny (to Michael): Todd Manning is the worst enemy there is. He's got more money than God, he's got no code whatsoever, and he thinks he's entitled to do whatever he wants to do.

Hahahaha! Your utter lack of self-awareness never fails to crack me up (especially when it's clearly intentional).

Dear Maxie: Is D.I.D. contagious, or in the town's water supply? Because stop giving your Uncle/Father Figure Mac seductively evil looks to try to will him into arresting you. Because eww.



Also, take it down a notch.

Dear Mac: You might not want to arrest Maxie because you think she's not a murderer, but let's not pretend you actually arrest murderers.

Dear Coleman: You're alive! You still exist!


Also, you might want to check in on your ex-girlfriend. She's acting a little weird and might need some help. On the flip side, you might be into her new kind of weird. She certainly won't think she's too good for you now, but you will get covered in hot pink lipstick.

Dear Jason: Oh shut up. Your freakin' pregnant wife was told some news could kill you, so she kept mum about it a few hours later than the hospital staff suggested. Sorry you feel "managed," especially considering you manage everyone you ever come into contact with since you are the wise sage of Port Charles. 


Also, you can't really blame her for not thinking you'd put a high priority on your attendance at the funeral. Consider your track record, Oh Saintly Hitman of the Funeral Avoidance. (Funerals are hard for him, y'all! He's special! 'Cause for the rest of the world, they're totally cake.)

Dear Elizabeth: So thanks for being a voice of reason!

Dear Luke: Oh, can it with your clever nonconformist advice. You killed your grandson and then gave another one a ride to the hospital. You've done crap to rebuild your relationship with your family.


And don't even think about sexytimes with the hot grieving mother.



I mean, yay! Dr. Noah Drake is back for a visit!

Which brings us to...



Patrick and Anna. Forget it. I can't give them any messages because I can't even deal with how much I love the both of them right now. They are just tearing me right up. All torn up, that's me. They're just both so broken right now that it's hard to watch, and it's not helped in the least by Jason Thompson and Finola Hughes being crushingly awesome at their jobs, like every second. 


To me, more annoying than the number of people at Robin's funeral was how the funeral became a CIRCUS, complete with an outrageously scary clown. I hope Maxie is never encouraged to attend another funeral again because, like Georgie's funeral, she ate up Robin's funeral.

My issue is with the heavy-handed, poor writing. OLTL had, presumably, as low a budget but it was a far more entertaining show with likeable characters, like Viki and Dorian. GH has virtually no likeable characters to balance out the awfulness.

I also found it pretty hypocritical of Jason to be talking to Liz about forgiving Sam, when they both lied about jake to her and lucky to "protect" them. I did think Liz understood Sam's point of view though which definitely made her the voice of reason!

I assume the reason characters who are currently on the show didn't attend was also budgetary. Big scenes with more people mean lots of actors getting paid to stand around in the background. It's not like they were doing completely unrelated things. We still got to see them mourn and knew they were thinking about Robin. I care less about who was actually there than I do the fact that it's been made clear that Robin was important to so many people and that her loss hasn't been swept aside in a day or two.

I totally agree with Nathalie on the stupidity of Robin's death. When she died I thought,"Really, an explosion?"

And, Maxie...I just can't with you right now.

If this week is about Jason's grief I may have to pass. In my perfect world, Carly would have told Jason about Robin's death and he would have dropped dead. Carly and Jason's relationship weirds me out. I seriously don't get it. I don't understand his loyalty to her. She can't even take a shit without whining to Jason about it. I find it taxing as a viewer.

Loved Patrick and Anna. I was taken aback by Anna's threat to take Emma, but, at the same time, I understand that she's grieving. She has handled Robin's death with such poise and grace. The news of the affair was what finally broke her. She was angry that her daughter was dead. She had no one to lash out at because it was a horrible accident. All she had was Patrick to be mad at for hurting Robin.

By the way, I will miss Robin tremendously. Like many others, she and I are the same age and I grew up with her (been watching GH since I was very little with my mom).

Caleb to Livvie: "Stake through the heart." Gah! I loved it. Well played, writers, well played.

You're lucky you didn't get the funeral they gave Nancy Hughes, the wonderful Helen Wagner on ATWT in it's last days - NONE! One day we found out she had died, the next we were greeted by a paltry half dozen relatives talking about how she hadn't wanted a big ceremony! No flashbacks, no time for remembrance, no church, no NOTHING. And in Robin's case, I wouldn't be surprised if she rose from the dead, if the show is lucky enough to escape cancellation for a little longer than it appears.

I agree with the talk of all the budgetary restrictions doing damage to what we would like to see in our stories. Good writing and good acting can trump that though and some of the writing (a considerable lot of it) has been very good, and the actors (notably JT, FH, JY have been excellent) and Patrick and Anna are the emotional centres of the show right now.

I wonder why they only gave Mac those two scenes. . finding out about the death of his beloved Robin and then telling the awful "friend" Sonny about it. It seems that he could have been given so much more. . .we know the actor can handle it. He was better than Robert and is certainly better than Maxie. If someone was going to go off the edge over this, maybe giving the storyline to John York would have been a good idea, though who would pull him back from the edge, with Robin now gone?

I agree with the above poster about Carly's reaction. It was good, when she was telling Jason and they could have explored her guilt over that and given us some lovely Robin/Carly fight flashbacks.

I'm a little disappointed in the lack of flashbacks. I think a lot of emotional charge could have been gained by more flashbacks, from all those who knew her. Does that cost money too? Do they have to pay themselves to use them or what?

On second thought, maybe it's just laziness in the tech department which could be the case since they still have Kassie DePaiva listed as "Blair Crane" in the credits. sigh.

I thought the funeral was lovely and much longer than the vast majority of soap funerals, which I really appreciated. I was surprised and impressed. And although I hated Maxie ruining it as much as Patrick and Anna hated it, I was glad that it didn't happen on the first day.

Regarding the lack of flashbacks, I thought they made good use of some pivotal ones. And it is an expense, not to mention the re-casts since then. It would be tricky to do much Carly/Robin or Maxie/Robin, etc.

I thought All My Children gave the late Eileen Herlie, who played Myrtle Fargate, a better send off than the half empty church that they had for a young woman who was the former chief of staff at the local hospital. Budget constrictions sounds like a feeble excuse; I would bet anything that ABC had AMC cut budgets in the years leading up to cancellation.

Budget constrictions sounds like a feeble excuse; I would bet anything that ABC had AMC cut budgets in the years leading up to cancellation.

"Canceled" being the operative word -- as in, whatever budgetary constraints AMC was operating under, they still weren't enough to make the show profitable. I'd rather GH didn't follow that lead, personally. I can use my imagination to fanwank the reason for absences they couldn't afford and populate the church with invisible extras in my mind.

I think a flashback montage of Robin would go a super long way in earning my love for new regime. I saw a great one on youtube...but would be nice to have on on the show.

I remember hearing once on a DC podcast that Frons took whatever profits made from OLTL and used it to shore up AMC and GH. GH and AMC had huge budgets, while FV was able to run OLTL on a dime! Those days are gone since ABC has cut GH's budget and that means FV is looking to save every dime he can to PAY the bills! IMO the peeps working in front of and behind the scenes at GH would probably rather have a job versus being unemployed. They could always ask their peers that worked on AMC and OLTL! As much as I love lavish weddings and big funerals, those days are sadly gone...sigh.

Is it me or Kate/Maxie wearing waaay too much makeup? They look like a couple of racoons.

@Natalia! I feel like I know you. Great Post! The only two places where I would have to disagree are these....

The timing of the Patrick/Anna confrontation was off to me. The scene was basically right after Robin's memorial. It could and should have waited until the next morning at least. It took even more away from Robin's already shady memorial day.

Anna's meaning when she said she would have no issue with taking Emma away if she felt she was in danger didn't seem to relate just to the past. I think it also include future circumstances.

Finally, I understood where Anna was coming from and feel that a scene of that nature has been sorely missed over that past two year on GH (probably even longer), yet I still feel bad for Patrick. He made a beyond terrible mistake which he clearly regrets with his whole being and he will have to live with what he did for the rest of his life without Robin.

Budget is one thing but they didn't even do a good job with what they had. They tried, and failed, to turn the funeral into melodrama, and it just looked like an old, half-broken Greatest Hits CD (Sonny's mumbling about Stone, Maxie ruining another relative's funeral). Even the Patrick moments were ruined by having Anna go on about Lisa in scenes which just seemed like more pointless histrionics.

The whole show is a hollow drum.

I've seen no-budget music video montages by fans that were more moving than the actual funeral. Instead we had a slide show that was totally wrong (Jason and Stone pix appearing behind Patrick when he began speaking). And a few flashbacks during the speeches--nice but they really didn't mine the riches of video available to them. Maybe the musical montage is cliche but it would have been a low-budget way to end the funeral or a crowded rooftop ceremony at the end of an episode. No tags for once, just 1 episode ending with a goodbye to a beloved character that would have left us all bawling in the great soapy tradition.

Birdie,I disturbed my cubemates laughing at this (and it was worth every second):

If this week is about Jason's grief I may have to pass. In my perfect world, Carly would have told Jason about Robin's death and he would have dropped dead. Carly and Jason's relationship weirds me out. I seriously don't get it. I don't understand his loyalty to her. She can't even take a shit without whining to Jason about it. I find it taxing as a viewer.

You are dead on with that assessment.

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