The Final and the Obligatory

I'm way too emotionally exhausted to even think about addressing yesterday's General Hospital so I'm going to the emotionally safe place: The Bold & the Beautiful. Briefly. (To be fair, I was watching GH and Robin before B&B even existed, so it would be harder for B&B to evoke the same emotional response. Especially since it's a show centered around the virginity of a 20-year-old [or whatever she's supposed to be], her idiot boyfriend, and his cheesy wife.)

Months back, I was still naively writing hopeful posts whenever they'd air an episode not revolving around Hope, Liam, and Steffy -- thinking the show was shifting and actually introducing new storylines and getting other characters into the mix. Well, I'm hardened now, dammit! Because of course when other characters show up with other issues, they're only there to serve the jettison of an actor. The last couple of days may have felt like a minuscule amount of balance has been added to the show, but luckily we're no longer optimistic and know full well it all just happened because Brandon Beemer and Lesley-Anne Down have been taken off contract. And thus, Owen and Jackie were reunited just as randomly as they were broken up. This time, instead of Jackie magnanimously passing Owen off to Bridget (and giving Owen no choice in the matter), Bridget magnanimously passed him back to Jackie.

Ridiculous as it was, at least they came out and said that Owen prefers decisions be made for him. Not that B&B is generally a subtext-laden television show, but yesterday really took the cake for literalness. The Literalness Cake. Sounds delicious, right? It's a cake in which they've assumed the audience is full of people who are too tired to interpret or read into words or even detect facial expressions. Instead of showing us that Owen likes to be the submissive one in the relationship, he came right out and said he likes that Jackie wears the pants in their marriage (and he wears the speedos, apparently... but hopefully not the way Ridge wears speedos). And after insisting that although he likes the power imbalance between them he must be included in relationship decisions in the future, instead of showing us that this new assertive side of Owen turned Jackie on, they just went ahead and had her say it turned her on. And instead of letting whatever Jackie/Owen 'shippers there are in the audience think, "Yay, Jowen!" they both came right out and said it. Thanks, B&B, for all that heavy lifting! Lord knows we're all too sleepy and dumb to do the work of actually being shown something instead of being told, amirite?!

There they are. "Jowen." And they'll tell you that, in case you didn't know.

Well, there it was. And now back to our regularly scheduled programming of a lot of people having the same conversations over and over again about Liam and Hope and Steffy. Omigods will Hope lose her virginity?! This is of national concern, y'all!

It occurred to me that those of you who only come here for the B&B posts may not yet know that we also have a Facebook page. "Like" us there if you're so inclined -- it's a fun place for pictures and announcements and just any everyday shorter reactions to soap episodes or soap news (which of course often includes much hand-wringing and incredulousness) that we might have or that you might have!

Comments

[Bourgeois Nerd]

I just love that there is a straight pass-around party bottom on a soap.

[Soapbaby]

^^ Ron: I laughed until I cried. I imagine I'll be chuckling about this fit the rest of day. Thanks.

[Ziyal]

I am saddened that they cannot find a decent storyline for a TV veteran like Lesley-Anne Down. With everyone being taken off contract or moved down to recurring, I guess we will be stuck even *more* (if that is possible) with the virginity triange and the Bridge/Tridge triangle. Is there anyone left on this show?! ARGH.

Is Dayzee still on canvas?

Louise, I love how your every post title is a spoof on The B and the B. ;)